THE ENERGY ENHANCEMENT REVOLUTION IN TRANSACTIONAL ANALYSIS

transactional analysis revolutionized by negative karmic mass and energy blockages

Eric Berne's Transactional Analysis - TA theory development and explanation

Transactional Analysis is a theory developed by Dr. Eric Berne in the 1950s.  Originally trained in psychoanalysis, Berne wanted a theory which could be understood and available to everyone and began to develop what came to be called Transactional Analysis (TA). Transactional Analysis is a social psychology and a method to improve communication. The theory outlines how we have developed and treat ourselves, how we relate and communicate with others, and offers suggestions and interventions which will enable us to change and grow. Transactional Analysis is underpinned by the philosophy that:

• people can change
• we all have a right to be in the world and be accepted

Initially criticised by some as a simplistic model, Transactional Analysis is now gathering worldwide attention. It originally suffered from summarised explanations, such as this, which can only touch on some of the concepts in Transactional Analysis, led their readers to believe that there was very little to it. Many did not appreciate the duration and complexity of the training.

Today there is greater understanding of Transactional Analysis. More and more people are taking the four to five year part-time training courses to qualify, and increasingly universities are accrediting these courses for masters degrees. Those taking training include psychiatrists, organizational and management consultants, teachers, social workers, designers, engineers and the clergy.

Today Transactional Analysis is used in psychotherapy, organisations, educational and religious settings. Books have been written for all ages, from children through to adults, by people all over the world. Transactional Analysis is truly an international theory relating to a diverse range of cultures.

Theoretical concepts within the Transactional Analysis world are constantly being challenged and developed making it a rich dynamic process. Berne died in July 1970 at the age of 60. However, Transactional Analysis has not stood still and continues to develop and change, paralleling the processes we encourage in ourselves and others.

For example the trauma creating the inner children sub - personalities has been found to be created by Negative Karmic Mass and the inability to "see" certain things obvious to other people and the scripts we follow in life are all down to energy blockages removable by meditation techniques created thousands of years ago to deal with exactly these situations.

The key concepts in Transactional Analysis are outlined below in the form of introductory information.

 

Scripts and Energy Enhancement Satchidanand

In Transactional Analysis, whenever the communication between the ego states get out of alignment, they do so because there is a script involved.

We call these sophisticated scripts energy blockages.

One of the problems of all script psychotherapy is that the psychotherapists have no methodology apart from talking to deprogram you from using the scripts, to remove the energy blockages.

For example, Frank Farrelly the psychotherapist said, talking to another psychotherapist, "Both you and I know that curing an alcoholic is like chipping ice from the Antarctic"

The fact is that psychologists have no methodology to remove energy blockages.

They have no examples of energy blockages being removed.

They have no patients they can point to who have recovered.

Even Alcoholics Anonymous say that there is no cure. All its members are Alcohol Free, "Just for one day"

Likewise with the psychopathic Violator (Persecutor - Violator) and the Star (Rescuer - Star) like Stalin or Mao reflected in the bad words and actions of petty tyrants the world over - see The Karma Cleaning Process and the removal of strategies.

These addicts, petty tyrants and slaves we see at all levels of every society in the world.

All caused by Energy Blockages...

Energy Blockages are the cause of all your misery.

Energy Blockages are the cause of all the misery in the World.

Whereas for thousands of years, spiritual masters have been through a process to remove all energy blockages starting with meditation.

The results are shown in people like Jesus, Buddha and Rumi. People who overcame all the problems of humanity within themselves and became truly free of all that.

Energy Enhancement utilises Ancient Effective and truly successful techniques to ground Negative Energies, Remove Energy Blockages, and Master Relationships

All our students - we have over 50 course reports - say that Energy Enhancement Works!

Come and give Satchidanand a try..

 

 

transactional analysis - contracting - the methodology of finding energy blockages

Transactional Analysis is a contractual approach. A contract is "an explicit bilateral commitment to a well-defined course of action" Berne E. (1966). Which means that all parties need to agree:

• why they want to do something
• with whom
• what they are going to do
• by when
• any fees, payment or exchanges there will be

The breaking of contracts is a symptom of something being wrong. When a contract is not possible or is broken then always an energy blockage is contaminating your mind. Talking about it will clarify the blockage but to totally remove it, energy enhancement techniques prove their worth again and again.

For example, we want the outside of our house painted, we need to find a person who will paint it and who will give us a quote for doing it. If we agree the quote, and we like him or her enough, we will no doubt employ them. We will agree a date and time, perhaps check they are insured, and choose the colour of the paint and off they go.

Sometimes contracts will be multi-handed with all parties to the contract having their own expectations. If these expectations are all congruent then fine, if not then discussing everyone's expectations will lead to greater understanding and therefore to a clear contract.

Contracts need to be outlined in positive words i.e. what is wanted, rather than what is not wanted. Our minds tend to focus on the negative and so this encourages failure. For example, how many times do we look round when someone says to us "Don't look now but......." , the same is true when we set up contracts which start "I don't want to do .............. anymore".

We have contracts about employment, how much will we be paid and when, what holidays we are due, what deductions there will be etc. In order to ensure placements are effective then different, but similar, details are required. Naturally, these details will vary dependent on the setting in which we work.

All parties need to state what are they are prepared to do. Are they able and willing to undertake what is being asked, is this appropriate? Does it fit within any statements of purpose and function? Is it legal? Do they have the competence to deliver this? Do they want to? What does each party want of the others?

In summary contracts need to be: measurable, manageable and motivational. Measurable means that the goals need to be tangible. That each party involved in the contract will be able to say in advance how they will know when the goal has been achieved. The goal will be specific and behavioural and clearly defined. The contract will also need to be manageable and feasible for all those concerned.

 

 

transactional analysis - ego states

 

Transactional Analysis first order structural model

Berne devised the concept of ego states to help explain how we are made up, and how we relate to others. These are drawn as three stacked circles and they are one of the building blocks of Transactional Analysis. They categorise the ways we think, feel and behave and are called Parent, Adult, and Child. Each ego state is given a capital letter to denote the difference between actual parents, adults and children.

 

 

Parent ego state

This is a set of feelings, thinking and behaviour that we have copied from our parents and significant others.

As we grow up we take in ideas, beliefs, feelings and behaviours from our parents and caretakers. If we live in an extended family then there are more people to learn and take in from. When we do this, it is called introjecting and it is just as if we take in the whole of the care giver. For example, we may notice that we are saying things just as our father, mother, grandmother may have done, even though, consciously, we don't want to. We do this as we have lived with this person so long that we automatically reproduce certain things that were said to us, or treat others as we might have been treated.

 

Adult ego state

The Adult ego state is about direct responses to the here and now. We deal with things that are going on today in ways that are not unhealthily influenced by our past.

The Adult ego state is about being spontaneous and aware with the capacity for intimacy. When in our Adult we are able to see people as they are, rather than what we project onto them. We ask for information rather than stay scared and rather than make assumptions. Taking the best from the past and using it appropriately in the present is an integration of the positive aspects of both our Parent and Child ego states. So this can be called the Integrating Adult. Integrating means that we are constantly updating ourselves through our every day experiences and using this to inform us.

In this structural model, the Integrating Adult ego state circle is placed in the middle to show how it needs to orchestrate between the Parent and the Child ego states. For example, the internal Parent ego state may beat up on the internal Child, saying "You are no good, look at what you did wrong again, you are useless". The Child may then respond with "I am no good, look how useless I am, I never get anything right". Many people hardly hear this kind of internal dialogue as it goes on so much they might just believe life is this way. An effective Integrating Adult ego state can intervene between the Parent and Child ego states. This might be done by stating that this kind of parenting is not helpful and asking if it is prepared to learn another way. Alternatively, the Integrating Adult ego state can just stop any negative dialogue and decide to develop another positive Parent ego state perhaps taken in from other people they have met over the years.

 

 

 

Child ego state

The Child ego state is a set of behaviours, thoughts and feelings which are replayed from our own childhood.

Perhaps the boss calls us into his or her office, we may immediately get a churning in our stomach and wonder what we have done wrong. If this were explored we might remember the time the head teacher called us in to tell us off. Of course, not everything in the Child ego state is negative. We might go into someone's house and smell a lovely smell and remember our grandmother's house when we were little, and all the same warm feelings we had at six year's of age may come flooding back.

Both the Parent and Child ego states are constantly being updated. For example, we may meet someone who gives us the permission we needed as a child, and did not get, to be fun and joyous. We may well use that person in our imagination when we are stressed to counteract our old ways of thinking that we must work longer and longer hours to keep up with everything. We might ask ourselves "I wonder what X would say now". Then on hearing the new permissions to relax and take some time out, do just that and then return to the work renewed and ready for the challenge. Subsequently, rather than beating up on ourselves for what we did or did not do, what tends to happen is we automatically start to give ourselves new permissions and take care of ourselves.

Alternatively, we might have had a traumatic experience yesterday which goes into the Child ego state as an archaic memory that hampers our growth. Positive experiences will also go into the Child ego state as archaic memories. The positive experiences can then be drawn on to remind us that positive things do happen.

The process of analysing personality in terms of ego states is called structural analysis. It is important to remember that ego states do not have an existence of their own, they are concepts to enable understanding. Therefore it is important to say "I want some fun" rather than "My Child wants some fun". We may be in our Child ego state when we say this, but saying "I" reminds us to take responsibility for our actions.

 

 

 

energy blockage contamination of the Adult ego state

The word contamination for many conjures up the idea of disease. For instance, we tend to use the word for when bacteria has gone into milk. Well, this is similar to the case with the contaminated Integrating Adult ego state.

Symptoms of energy blockages occur when we talk as if something is a fact or a reality when really this is a belief. Racism is an example of this.

The Integrating Adult ego state is contaminated in this case by the Parent ego state. If we are white we might have lived with parents or significant others who said such things as the energy programming "Black people take our jobs".

Growing up it is likely, that having no real experience to go by, we believed this and thus created this energy blockage within our own minds . We might also have been told that Black people are aggressive. In our Child ego state may well lodge some scared feelings about Black people and in this ego state we may start to believe "All Black people are scary".

This would mean that there would be a double contamination of the Integrating Adult ego state. However, we would think that such statements were facts rather than beliefs and when this happens we say that this is Integrating Adult ego syntonic. That is, they fit with the Integrating Adult ego state and only those people outside of our situation and sometimes outside of our peer group or culture can see that, objectively, such beliefs are just that and therefore they can be changed.

 

 

 

Parent energy blockage contamination

 

 

 

 

Child energy blockage contamination

 

 

 

 

 

double energy blockage contamination (Parent and Child)

 

 

 

 

 

transactional analysis - the descriptive model (1999)

This model shows how we function or behave with others. A revised and further developed 2009 model is below.

The model used here is divided up into nine parts. We have used Susannah Temple's (1999) term 'mode' as it differentiates it from the structural ego state model mentioned above. We colour the different modes in red and green for those who find colour helpful as a tool. Effective communication comes from the green modes, (just as with traffic lights we get the go ahead when the green light comes on), and ineffective communication come from the red modes (as with the red traffic light).

When we come (communicate) from the energy blockage contamination red modes we invite a negative response.

When we come (communicate) from the energy blockage free green modes we invite a positive response.

 

 

 

© Diagram and model Susannah Temple 1999, adapted by Mountain Associates.

 

 

The diagram is repeated below to help understanding of the explanatory text alongside:

 

 

energy blockage contamination ineffective modes Negative Controlling Parent - communicates a "You're not OK" message, and is punitive. Negative Nurturing Parent - communicates a "You're not OK" message. When in this mode the person will often do things for others which they are capable of doing for themselves. When in this mode the person is engulfing and overprotective. Negative Adapted Child - expresses an "I'm not OK" message. When in this mode the person over-adapts to others and tends to experience such emotions as depression, unrealistic fear and anxiety. Negative Free Child - in this mode the person runs wild with no restrictions or boundaries. In this mode they express a "You're not OK" message.

 

 

 

energy blockage free effective modes Positive Nurturing Parent - communicates the message "You're OK". When in this mode the person is caring and affirming. Positive Controlling Parent - communicates the message "You're OK". This is the boundary setting mode, offering constructive criticism, whilst being caring but firm. Positive Adapted Child - communicates an "I'm OK" message. From this mode we learn the rules to help us live with others. Positive Free Child - communicates an "I'm OK" message. This is the creative, fun loving, curious and energetic mode. Accounting mode - communicates "We're OK" messages. The Adult is able to assess reality in the here and now. When the Accounting mode is in the executive position it is possible to choose which of the other effective modes to go into, dependent on the situation. This is then called Accounting Mode. When using the descriptive behavioural model the term Accounting Mode helps to differentiate it from the structural model where it is referred to as Adult. When stable in this Accounting Mode we are taking account of the present context and situation and deciding the most appropriate mode to come from. We are then able to respond appropriately rather than flipping into archaic or historic ways of being, thinking and behaving which are likely to be inappropriate and unhelpful.

 

 

 

 

transactional analysis - descriptive model (revised 2009)

Here follows a further developed (by Mountain Associates) version of the above Transactional Analysis descriptive model.

The 1999 version above is retained within this guide to TA because it is interesting from a development perspective (showing how the 2009 model evolved) and it also remains valid for explanation and interpretation of the concept.

 

The model shows how we function or behave with others. The model used here is divided into nine parts and again we have used Susannah Temple's (1999) term 'mode' as it differentiates it from the structural ego state model mentioned previously. We have adapted the Susannah Temple 1999 model, diagram, and some terms, and have coloured the different modes in red and green for those who find colour helpful as a tool. Effective communication comes from the green modes, (just as with traffic lights we get the go ahead when the green light comes on), and ineffective communication come from the red modes (as with the red traffic light). When we come (communicate) from the red modes we invite a negative response, and a positive response from the green modes.

© Diagram - Mountain Associates 2009 - adapted from Susannah Temple's 1999 model.

 

For ease of understanding the model, the same diagram is repeated alongside the explanations below:

 

energy blockage contamination ineffective modes The red zones all emanate from trauma caused negative karmic mass energy blockage outdated experiences. Criticizing Mode - communicates a "You're not OK" message. When in this mode you will believe that others cannot do things as well as you can, or perhaps only some certain chosen people can. If you lead from this position you are unlikely to develop a loyal supportive team or culture. Over-Indulging / Inconsistent Mode - communicates "You're not OK". When in this mode we often 'rescue' others, that is, do things for them which they are capable of doing for themselves. As a leader we might also be inconsistent in our style - changing our behaviour in unpredictable and apparently random ways. Compliant / Resistant Mode - expresses an "I'm not OK" or "I'm not OK and You're Not OK" message. When in this mode we over-adapt to others and tend to experience such emotions as depression or unrealistic fear and anxiety. Even when 'resisting' we are not actually free to think for ourselves as we are reacting to someone and believing that we need to 'resist'. When in this mode we are unlikely to make good team members and will be highly stressed if we have to manage others. Immature Mode - in this mode we run wild with no boundaries. Here we express a "You're not OK" message. At work we tend to not to take responsibility for our actions and are unlikely to progress as we need a great deal of management in order to focus our energy and keep boundaries.

 

 

energy blockage free effective modes Accounting Mode - communicates "We're OK" messages. This mode operates appropriately in the here-and-now and has integrated the positive aspects of the historic parenting and the archaic childhood experiences. As this mode is here-and-now we choose which of the other effective aspects or modes of behaviour to draw from, dependent on the situation. When stable in this mode we respond appropriately rather than flipping into an archaic or historic mode. Incorporated Aspects of the Accounting Mode - All of the different incorporated aspects communicate "I'm OK and You're OK". Nurturing - When in this aspect we are caring and affirming. Structuring - This is the boundary setting aspect, offering constructive criticism. In this aspect we are caring whilst firm. Cooperative - From this aspect we learn the rules to help us live with others. Playful - This is the creative, fun loving, curious and energetic aspect. We can confront people playfully as a way of dealing with a difficult situation. This can diffuse a potential problem and get the message across.

© Diagram - Mountain Associates 2009 - adapted from Susannah Temple's 1999 model.

 

 

 

As already stated, when working with others we can choose where we come (communicate) from. 

Effective communications come from the green Accounting mode.

If someone else invites us to go into a red mode we don't have to go there, we can 'cross the transaction' and come from green instead. 

 

 

 

transactional analysis - diagnosis of energy blockages

It is helpful to be able to assess or diagnose which ego state in the structural model, or which mode in the descriptive model, somebody is in. In this way we can respond appropriately as well as ensure which mode we are addressing.

However, when we work with other staff or are relating with young people, we are responding on the behavioural level. It is not always possible, or appropriate, to be undertaking more in-depth types of diagnosis. I have outlined them here though so that an understanding of the complexity of the process can be achieved.

 

 

 

behavioural diagnosis of energy blockages

Words, tone, tempo of speech, expressions, postures, gestures, breathing, and muscle tone provide clues for diagnosing ego states.

Parent mode words typically contain value judgments, Adult words are clear and definable, and Free Child mode words are direct and spontaneous. For example, a person in Adapted Child mode may cry silently, whereas when in Free Child mode we are likely to make a lots of noise. "You" or "one" usually come from Parent. This can switch even mid-sentence. If we are leaning forward it is likely we are in the posture of the Parent mode, whereas if we are in Adult mode we tend to be erect.

These are indicators not guarantees. Assessment needs to be supported by other methods of diagnosis.

 

 

 

social diagnosis of energy blockages

Observation of the kinds of transactions a person is having with others. For example, if eliciting a response from someone's caretaking Parent it is likely that the stimulus is coming from Child, though not necessarily the Adapted Child mode. Our own responses to someone will often be a way of assessing which ego state or mode they are coming from.

 

 

 

historical diagnosis of energy blockages

The person's past also provides important information. If, as a child we had feelings similar to those we are experiencing now, it is likely we are in Child ego state. If our mother or father behaved or talked in the same way that we are behaving or talking now then we are probably in a Parent ego state.

 

 

 

phenomenological diagnosis of energy blockages

This occurs when we re-experience the past instead of just remembering it. This means that diagnosis is undertaken by self-examination. This is sometimes accurate and sometimes very inaccurate as the Child ego state may be afraid to allow our Adult to know what is going on.

 

transactional analysis - strokes in the creation of giving and receiving energy - The creation of the Energy Vampire

In Transactional Analysis we call compliments and general ways of giving recognition strokes. This name came from research which indicated that babies require touching in order to survive and grow. It apparently makes no difference whether the touching induces pain or pleasure - it is still important. On the whole we prefer to receive negative strokes than no strokes at all, at least that way we know we exist and others know we exist.

We all have particular strokes we will accept and those we will reject. For example, if we have always been told we are clever, and our brother is creative, then we are likely to accept strokes for being clever, but not for being creative. From this frame of reference only one person in the family can be the creative one and so on.

Stroking can be physical, verbal or nonverbal. It is likely that the great variety of stroke needs and styles present in the world results from differences in wealth, cultural mores, and methods of parenting.

Craving strokes too much is caused by an energy blockage and is the start of the energy vampire who just wants your attention to suck up all your energy.

This giving and receiving strokes is necessary for children but is a bad teaching for later on in life when we crave these stokes, this energy from other people which is really teaching people to be an energy vampire.

An adult learns that by connecting to external energy sources like the Universal Energy Field we no longer need to take energy from other people. We no longer need strokes!!

 

PICTURE OF MOVING FLASH VIDEO SHOWING THE ANTAHKARANA CONNECTING WITH THE CENTER OF THE EARTH AND THE CENTER OF THE UNIVERSE - FREE WITH THE ENERGY ENHANCEMENT ONLINE AND DVD COURSES!!

 

 

the stroke economy - learning to be an energy vampire - learning how to control by giving and not giving energy

Claude Steiner suggests that, as children, we are all indoctrinated by our parents with five restrictive rules about stroking.

• don't give strokes when we have them to give
• don't ask for strokes when we need them
• don't accept strokes if we want them
• don't reject strokes when we don't want them
• don't give ourselves strokes

Together these five rules are the basis of what Steiner calls the stroke economy. By training children to obey these rules, says Steiner, parents ensure that ".. a situation in which strokes could be available in a limitless supply is transformed into a situation in which the supply is low and the price parents can extract for them is high."

We therefore need to change the restrictive rules to unrestrictive ones:

• give strokes when we have them to give
• ask for strokes when we want them
• accept strokes if we want them
• reject manipulative strokes
• give ourselves positive strokes

Strokes can be positive or negative:

• A) "I like you"
• B) "I don't like you"

Strokes can be unconditional or conditional. An unconditional stroke is a stroke for being whereas a conditional stroke is a stroke for doing. For instance:

"I like you" - unconditional

"I like you when you smile" - conditional

As negative strokes these might be:

"I don't like you" - negative unconditional

"I don't like you when you're sarcastic" - negative conditional

People often have an Energy Blockage called a stroke filter. They only let in strokes which they think they are allowed to let in. For instance they allow themselves to receive strokes for being clever and keep out strokes for being good looking. One way to think about this to consider being out in the rain. The rain is the strokes that are available to us, both positive and negative. There is a hole in the umbrella and some of the strokes go through and we save them in a bucket to enjoy in lean times. Conversely we might use them negatively to reinforce the negative strokes we give to ourselves. Of course, some just bounce off the umbrella and we might not accept the good strokes that are coming our way. Some might come in but fall straight onto the floor.

When we learn to receive energy from the Universal Energy Field in Energy Enhancement Initiation 4 of Level 1 then all this becomes unnecessary.

As we remove the energy blockages in Energy Enhancement level 2 - The Elimination of Energy Blockages- which energy blockages cause us to crave stroke energy and use these strategies to gain stroke energy - that is become an incipient energy vampire - so we become normal that is, a distributor of cosmic energy on this planet.

 

 

transactional analysis - life position energy blockages

Life position energy blockages are basic beliefs about self and others, which are used to justify decisions and behaviour.

When we are conceived we are hopefully at peace, waiting to emerge into the world once we have grown sufficiently to be able to survive in the outside of the womb. If nothing untoward happens we will emerge contented and relaxed. In this case we are likely to perceive the world from the perspective of I am OK and You are OK.

However, perhaps our mother had some traumatic experiences to create the trauma formed negative karmic mass within our systems, or the birth was difficult or even life threatening. This trauma formed negative karmic mass is likely to have an effect on the way we experience the world, even at the somatic level. In which case we might emerge sensing that life is scary and might, for example, go into "I am not OK and You are not OK either".

Let's take it that the pregnancy went fine, and the birth was easy enough. What then? Well life created trauma formed negative karmic mass might reinforce our initial somatic level life position, or contradict it. If we were given Negative Karmic Mass by being treated punitively, talked down to, and not held, we may begin to believe "I am not OK and You are OK". This might be the only sense we can make of our experiences.

Let's take another situation. Perhaps we  were given Negative Karmic Mass by being picked on and bullied as a child. We learnt that the way to get by was to bully others and that way we felt stronger and in control. Our behaviour then comes into the I am OK and You are not OK quadrant. Of course this may cover up our belief that we are really not OK, but nobody sees that. They just see our behaviour, and in fact we may have forgotten all about our negative feelings about ourselves as we have tried so hard to deny the pain of believing we are not OK.

These life position energy blockages coated with trauma formed negative karmic mass are perceptions of the world. The reality is I just am and you just are, therefore how I view myself and others are just that "views" not fact. However, we tend to act as if they are a fact. Just like when somebody says "I can't do this, I'm useless". Rather than "I don't know how to do this. Will you show me?" The latter is staying with the fact that they do not yet know how to do it, whilst the former links being useless with not being able to do something.

There are a number of ways of showing the symptoms of the life position energy blockages. Franklin Ernstdrew the life positions in quadrants, which he called the OK Corral (1971). We have put these into red and green to show the effective and ineffective quadrants for communication and healthy relationships. By shading in the quadrants according to the amount of time we think we spend in each we can get an idea of the amount of time we spend in each. Ernst used the term 'Corralogram' for this method of self-assessment using the OK Corral matrix.

 

 

 

the ok corral (franklin ernst, 1971)

 

 

 

Berne talked about the life position energy blockages as existential positions, one of which we are more likely to go to under stress. This is significantly different to the concept Ernst uses, i.e. that we move around them all during the day. Whilst there is some truth in this we could agree with Berne that there will be one major position we go into under stress, with perhaps another position underneath this one. These positions can change as we develop and grow. The difference between Berne and Ernst is important.

Chris Davidson (1999) writes about the three dimensional model of Okayness. All of the previous diagrams talk as if there were only one other person in the equation, when in reality there are often more. For example, the behaviour of young people in gangs may say that they believe they are okay and perhaps other gangs in their neighbourhood are okay, but an individual or gang from another neighbourhood are not okay. We often do this at work as well. We find other people who we like and then we gossip and put other people down. We are therefore saying that we believe we are okay but those others are awful (underneath this there may be a belief that we are not okay either but we feel better by putting someone else down). In this way the two dimensional model of okayness i.e. that there are only two people involved, becomes three dimensional model where there can be three or more involved.

There is also the way in which we view life itself. If we consider that there is something wrong with us, and that others are not to be trusted and are not OK either, then the world would be a scary place and we are likely to experience life as tough and believe we will only be all right if we keep alert and on the look out for danger and difficulties.

We can talk about these positions as psychologists have done from the beginnings of recorded time and we can learn to overcome them with our intellectual minds, yet you only have to look at Woody Allen to understand what 50 years of psychoanalysis can do for you.

Under stress, the action of the energy blockage life position always returns because the energy blockage is not in our intellectual minds in ajna chakra in our heads, instead these blockages can exist anywhere in the system in any chakra - a chakra is one of the minds parallel processors which exist along the communication bus spinal chord in the nervous plexuses which exist all along its length, each one communicating with the physical system by means of associated endocrine glands . For example fear usually exists in the base chakra and relationship blockages in the second abdominal chakra.

Usually the blockages form an interdependent network which spreads throughout the entire body.

"A Man has Blockages like a Dog has Fleas" - Ancient saying

With Energy Enhancement level 2 - The Elimination of Energy Blockages - we can remove all energy blockages.

 

 

energy blockage of blame model

The Transactional Analysis 'Okay Corral' can be linked to 'blame', for which Jim Davis TSTA developed this simple and helpful model. Commonly when emotions are triggered people adopt one of three attitudes relating to blame, which each correlate to a position on the Okay Corral:

• I'm to blame (You are okay and I'm not okay - 'helpless')
• You are to blame (I'm okay and you are not okay - 'angry')
• We are both to blame (I'm not okay and you are not okay - 'hopeless')

None of these is a healthy position.

Instead the healthy position is, and the mindset should be: "It's no-one's fault, blame isn't the issue - what matters is how we go forward and sort things out." (I'm okay and you are okay - 'happy')

(With acknowledgements to Jim Davis TSTA)

With Energy Enhancement level 2 - The Elimination of Energy Blockages - we can remove all energy blockages.

 

Relationship Energy hunger - The Symbiotic Energy Vampires

As human beings we are deeply relational and social creatures. When we are born we are totally dependent on the care and interaction of our parents or caregivers to provide what we need in terms of food, warmth, protection and stimulation. However, our early dependency needs go beyond this material level. We also need our caregivers to stimulate our brains so that we develop pathways for attachment and emotional regulation. The infant is an active part of this relationship with the parents and learns how to contact and impact other people. Together with our parents we develop emotional stability, a sense of identity, the use of language and a shared "story" or narrative about how we see ourselves and the world. Without interaction with other human beings we would not be able to grow into who we truly are.

To fulfill those ongoing needs we have an in-built drive towards relationships. Eric Berne, the founder of Transactional Analysis theory, termed our drive towards relationship a "hunger for relationship". The same concept is also central to a British branch of psychoanalysis called objects relations theory.  We crave relationships to stimulate us, and to give us security, closeness, physical contact and sex. The most intense way to be in relationship is called intimacy, a process where both partners are fully present and open to one another. Intimacy requires spontaneity and mindfulness. It means that we have to let down our guard and really listen to the other person and feel our own desire to be listened to. But intimacy doesn't always have to be sexual or even loving. People can be intimately angry with each other as long as they are straight and open with each other and they are communicating their anger from a position of respect for self and other. Another way to describe intimacy would be to think of the Buddhist principle of mindfulness, of being fully present and open to what is here and now.

Intimacy is incredibly rewarding, but it can also be experienced as threatening and overwhelming - it depends on your childhood experience of attachment and being in relationship. Most of us learn to shield ourselves against a repeat of not-so-good experiences by building a certain personality style, a main defensive pattern, which we would call a "life script", together with other bigger or smaller patterns which allow us to get on in the world of people and to keep us safe. It's also important to mention here that children will experience the loss of relationship with their care givers - even if only briefly - as a major threat to their survival. A child will adapt in some way to this threat, either by being more compliant on the outside or by managing things differently on the inside, i.e. by cutting off from their own needs or vulnerabilities. We may still do this as adults to manage our experiences of relationship. This means we are probably feeling safer, but that we are also limiting our ability to be present and enjoy our self and others fully. In some instances this means that we are actually denying ourselves what we would wish for most, such as finding someone who truly loves us and desires us for who we are.

All of these patterns can limit our openness and enjoyment of people and relationship. When we "work through" things as adults we become more open to the present and more able to allow people into our hearts; more able to give or share ourselves with someone else.

Berne also talked about two other "hungers", one for recognition or the "Fame Life Script Blockage Program Game" blockage and another one for structure or the "Fear of Change" blockage. Our hunger for recognition leads us to crave being seen as who we really are, to be respected and recognized as competent, intelligent, special etc. Our hunger for structure refers to the fact that our brains are built to create structure out of chaos. We organize our perceptions into patterns which we can give names to, and which we can manipulate in our imagination or real life. We also create structure in our relationships by behaving in the same ways or by building a "life script" (see psychology section on scripts).

The three hungers are related. If we lack one of them, we often compensate with one or both of the other two if we can. Not enough relationship may lead us to strive for more and more professional or economic recognition, or we might compensate for lack of relationships by over-structuring our lives, making sure we keep busy with all sorts of things so we don't feel anything or, in particular, don't feel lonely in our need to vampirise energy from our friends.

 

With Energy Enhancement level 2 - The Elimination of Energy Blockages - we can remove all energy blockages.

 

Relational Craving Addiction

"Attachment leads to pain" - Gautama Buddha

Relational Cravings is a concept which helps us to describe the energy which people desire to get out of relating to each other. It is as if someone had sat down and thought about which actions of another person make us feel loved. Relational business is about contact between people. They are not the basic needs of survival - like food, air or shelter: rather, they are the equality of our human relationships which produce good relationships. They are about a good quality of life and a sense of self-in-relationship.

Relational cravings can also be described as the component parts of a universal desire for energy in relationships.

Bad relationships are where someone wants all the energy.

Normal relationships are where there is an equality in the sharing of energy a business where if you give 50% you receive 50%

The relationships of those connected with the universal energy field is that we give one hundred percent and expect nothing back in return.

Different theorists have come up with different sets of relational needs, but they all deal with the problem of acheiving equality in sharing. It is only energy blockages which cause the wanting to vampirise energy.

Some people see them as leftover blockages from childhood, others see them as the normal cravings we all have throughout all of our lives right to the point we die. I agree with the latter view, seeing relational cravings for energy as something we never grow out of unless we meditate.

However, each individual tends to have some cravings that are more desireful than others, maybe depending on what is left over for them from childhood (for example, they may still be looking for a quality of being in relationship they never got as a child). This craving for the 100% energy given by the mother or father is a craving which leads to the breakup of most relationships. This impossible desire for 100% of the energy in any relationship - The Energy Vampire - is caused by an energy blockage.

The first set of relational needs I want to describe has been defined by the psychoanalyst Heinz Kohut. He wrote about the child's need for twinship, mirroring, and idealization. In twinship he meant that we long to be with someone who we see as similar to ourselves, who shares our experiences, and who we can communicate with. In mirroring he described our need to be with someone who delights in our presence, our actions, feelings, and our simply being alive, and who shows this delight to us in an active way - hence mirroring. This is a wonderful process to watch between adults and babies when both look at each other with beaming smiles, delighting in each other's company. 

Finally, Kohut talked about idealization, which is our need to have someone in our lives who we think is bigger than us and who we can go to when things get difficult. Someone who we can trust will "sort it out for us" or simply be there for us as backup. It may be more important for children to have someone to run to with things they can't handle themselves, but even as adults it's still really reassuring to have someone who will be there for us no matter what. This someone may be a real person, a parent, a partner, a friend or a symbolic place, or it could be our own god. This sense that there is someone we can go to, who can help us to deal with things by which we feel overwhelmed, creates security. It means we are not alone with life's vicissitudes.

For example the wonderful way of being of Swami Satchidananda who taught about the business of energy in relationships. The way he showed through his actions his freedom from energy craving just by continuously giving. And his Mastery over emotions - using them, never being used by them. It is good to mirror and idealise these enlightened masters.

The second set of relational needs I want to describe are by Richard Erskine and Rebecca Trautmann, two integrative psychotherapists. They have expanded on Kohut's categories and have come up with 7 relational needs which when neutral are OK . Each need can be contaminated by energy blockages where they become cravings. In most people they are contaminated by energy blockages

1 Security

We all have a need to feel safe in relationship with others and to feel free from threats of humiliation and shame. It also means that we have a sense that the other won't attack, engulf or abandon us.

2 Validation

This need is for an unconditional acceptance of our feelings, fantasies and identity by another person. It includes the need to have all our relational needs affirmed and accepted as natural. It gives us a sense of being normal and OK in our own way, and is experienced as an unconditional positive acceptance of who we are. Carl Rogers, the founder of person-centered counseling, saw this as unconditional positive regard as one of three essential prerequisites of therapy.

3 Acceptance by a stable, dependable and protective other person

This is Kohut's need for idealization: the need to have someone in our lives who we trust and who looks out for us. The degree to which an individual looks to someone and hopes that he or she is reliable, consistent, and dependable is directly proportional to their quest for a sense of internal security.

4 Confirmation of personal experience: in other words, a need to find someone who we feel is similar to us 

This is Kohut's need for twinship. It can be incredibly affirming to find someone who we feel shares our view of the world, or who has been through experiences similar to those we have had ourselves.

5 Self-definition

The opposite to our need for twinship is our need to feel separate and unique, to be true to ourselves and to be able to show who we really are. Self-definition is the communication of one's self-chosen identity through the expression of preferences, interests and ideas without humiliation or rejection.

6 The need to have an impact on other people 

Impact refers to having an influence that affects the other in some desired way. An individual's sense of competency in a relationship emerges from agency and being able to influence others - attracting the other's attention and interest, influencing what may be of interest to the other person, and effecting a change in the other's emotions or behavior. Being able to influence others means we don't feel like we are just thin air or completely unimportant to others.

7 The need to give love

We also have an inbuilt need to give love, which can be expressed through quiet gratitude, thankfulness, giving affection, or doing something for the other person. It is important that these "gifts" are accepted and welcomed, at least in spirit, even if they are not the right thing at the right time for the other person. (Think of a two year old sharing their favorite chocolate cookie with you. Of course the two year old doesn't know you might not like to eat half a chewed cookie that's already been melting in his hand. It's his intention that matters most).

If you want to read more on how relational needs might be relevant to yourself and your relationship, read Relational needs and you.

Sources:

Heinz Kohut (1971) The analysis of the self. New York: International Universities Press.

Richard G. Erskine, Rebecca L. Trautmann (1996) Methods of an Integrative Psychotherapy. Transactional Analysis Journal Vol 26, No 4, October

 

 

 

Relational needs and the Selfish Competitive Ego

The concept is really useful when you're exploring the questions of selfish want - for example "What exactly is it that makes me feel loved?" and "What do I want from my partner in our relationship?"

Most people feel drawn to some of the relational needs more than others because these are their energy blockages. This might be explainable when assuming that those are the needs, which are still left over for them from childhood. Or in other words, people may still be looking for what they didn't get enough of as kids. Have a look through the list of relational needs and see what you would like to get in your relationship. Feel free to do this really instinctively, you don't need to be able to rationally justify why you want a particular thing. In fact, all those needs are cravings for us to have as adults. We can talk about these selfish needs all we want. The only way to normalise is to meditate the energy blockages away.

If we do not meditate then we have to negotiate for our selfish needs...

1. If you know what you want from your partner, think about how you could ask for those needs to be met in some way. Remember that your partner can't mind read. If you don't tell him or her they won't know. It is also really ok that you ask for what you want. As adults you can then negotiate with your partner about how to meet these needs. Some needs will be easily met, some will be impossible to be met by another person, because you need to give yourself something of it too (For example protection: The other person won't be able to look after you emotionally all the time, you need to be able to do that for yourself to some degree). Some of these needs will be impossible to meet full stop (because they relate to the past, which can't be changed any more, like I long for my mother to come back and make things ok for me - however, I am an adult now and can never go back to being a child again).

2. Once you know what your blockages want, negotiate - have a think what your partner may want. Better even, let him or her read through the list and they can point out the ones they are drawn to themselves. It was certainly very interesting for me to find out that my partner picked out very different ones from me. It really helped me to understand where he was coming from and to appreciate his vulnerabilities and needs. Talk with your partner about this stuff, because once you get the mix right between the two of you it will increase the feel good factor in your relationship dramatically.

3. Apart from that, remember that your partner isn't the only person who can meet your needs. Number one to be taken into account must be yourself! Give yourself credit for who you are and what you do well. Really notice when other people initiate contact with you or give you compliments and let those sink in so that it really feels like it is warming your heart. Often people feel deprived, not because they live in a environment where love is scarce, but because they are very good at not letting things in that people give them.

4. And then there are all the other people round you: Friends, family, colleagues, acquaintances or even the odd stranger with whom you might share a smile. Let all the good relationships round you matter to you! You can take the good things people give you fully on board (and you can ignore or not let the bad things hurt so much too).

 

 

Life Script Blockage Programs

Eric Berne proposed that dysfunctional behavior is the result of self-created blockages - limiting decisions made in childhood in the interest of survival. Such decisions culminate in what Berne called the "life script," or "Life Script Blockage Program" the pre-conscious life plan that governs the way life is lived out. Changing the life script is the aim of transactional analysis psychotherapy but only energy enhancement has the techniques to quickly and easily REMOVE these blockages. Replacing violent organizational or societal scripting with cooperative non-violent behavior is the aim of Energy Enhancement.

 

 

transactional analysis - the Life Script Blockage Programs

The Life Script Blockage Program is a life plan, made when we are growing up. It is like having the script of a play in front of us - we read the lines and decide what will happen in each act and how the play will end. The script is developed from our early decisions based upon our life experience. We may not realise that we have set ourselves a plan but we can often find this out if we ask ourselves what our favorite childhood story was, who was our favorite character in the story and who do we identify with. Then consider the beginning, middle and end of the story. How is this story reflected in our life today?

Another way of getting to which Life Script Blockage Program is may be to think about what we believe will happen when we are in old age. Do we believe we will be alive at 80 or 90 years old, be healthy, happy, and contented? What do we think will be on the headstone for our grave? What would we like to be on it?

 

The Discounting Blockage to create blind spots

Discounting is an internal process during which we, out of conscious awareness, ignore information relevant to the solution of a problem. A discount always entails some distortion of reality, which confirms our Life Script Blockage Program beliefs. Discounting is a form of putting oneself, another person, or the world in general down.

Put another way, discount blockages help us to maintain the status quo rather than change. It's generally a rather unhelpful thing to do, but sticking to what we know and what we normally do helps us to feel safe. Unfortunately, this is often at the expense of a richer life.

A good example comes from the fable of the fox and the grapes. In the story a fox would very much like to eat some grapes, but they are too high up on a vine and he can't reach them easily. In the end he gives up and says to himself "Well, they are sour anyway, I don't want them". The fox firstly discounts the grapes as "not good" or put in slang "they're crap anyway". Secondly, he discounts his desire for them, and thirdly he discounts his own ability to act on his desire and do something to reach the grapes despite the difficulties he is having. (He could come up with some clever ideas, as foxes usually do in such stories!)

We often unconsciously discount ourselves when we say "I can't do this". What are we actually saying about our own abilities to solve problems and change? Often when we can do things, we might choose not to, or we may need some help, or we may need to learn more, or we may need to try a couple of times. In reality we often can do things, even though it might not be straightforward. In saying "I can't do this" we are discounting our own abilities and we ignore the fact that there are always other solutions or options to deal with a problem than just the obvious ones. However, I also think that one can take this a bit too far. Sometimes people can't do things (like feel safe), because they have never been shown how to.

When we discount we do so by making a statement in our heads. It is an internal process, and so a discount itself is not observable. However, other people will be able to observe manifestations of a discount which you make. Some behavioral signs are doing nothing or passivity in response to a problem, over-adaptation, agitation or incapacitating oneself in some way (e.g. getting ill). Grandiosity is also part of discounting. Every discount is accompanied by grandiosity, which is an exaggeration or minimization of some feature of reality (e.g. making a mountain out of a molehill or vice versa).

People can discount on 4 different levels. They are ranked in severity from denying or discounting the existence of an issue to discounting one's personal options to do something about a problem:

1 Blockage Discounting the existence of a problem. Example: I was not drinking last night, or: I am not an alcoholic.

2 Blockage Discounting the significance of an event or problem. Example: Well, yes I was drinking last night, but it doesn't do me any harm.

3 Blockage Discounting the possibilities for change. Example: Yes, I am an alcoholic, but I was born that way.

4 Blockage Discounting one's personal ability to change: Yes, I am an alcoholic, it's killing me and I know other people manage to stop, but I can't.

As you may have concluded, the discounting blockage can be quite a nasty habit and the best thing to do is to confront it in oneself and other people. It is especially damaging in a relationship if one partner uses discounting to avoid changing or taking responsibility. In that case, don't allow the hidden agenda of "I can't" and collude in it, when actually the person should be saying "I won't".

 

In the Yoga Sutras of Patanjali is what is described as the "Golden Key" to Relationships which I think is quite necessary at this point to help not getting drawn in to Vampire Strategies.

1. When you meet the sad person, sympathise.

2. When you met the happy person, be happy with them.

3. Make friends with the virtuous - The normalised enlightened people

4. Stay away from Evil - The jealous Violator. The Poor Me who can change into the Violator in an instant. The Psychopathic Star.

 

Life Script Blockage Programs - The Life Script Blockage Program Games People Play

Berne defined certain socially dysfunctional behavioral patterns as "Life Script Blockage Program Games." These repetitive, devious transactions are principally intended to obtain strokes and steal energy usually through the violator and poor me strategies. They reinforce negative feelings and self-concepts, and mask the direct expression of thoughts and emotions. Berne tagged these Life Script Blockage Program Games with such instantly recognizable names as "Why Don't You, Yes But," "Now I've Got You, You Son of a Bitch," and "I'm Only Trying to Help You." Berne's book Life Script Blockage Program Games People Play achieved wide popular success and was one of the drivers of the present popularity of Transactional analysis life scripting.

 

Life Script Blockage Programs - The psychology of relationships: Psychological Life Script Blockage Program Games

Despite the promising name, psychological Life Script Blockage Program Games are Energy Blockages which are really no fun at all. They are unconscious, repetitive behavior patterns between two people (sometimes more), which will leave both of them feeling depleted and unhappy.

In transactional analysis we have quite specific patterns in mind when we talk about psychological Life Script Blockage Program Games, or just Life Script Blockage Program Games for short. One way of defining a Life Script Blockage Program Game is as a set of matching interactions by two or more people where there is a hidden agenda caused by energy blockages which cause a result which gains attention and energy for the winner energy vampire. A blockage at work and at some point a switch of roles between the  participants. A Life Script Blockage Program Game ends in a predictable way and may be played over and over again in the search for illicit energy transfers.

Generally speaking, there are only 3 roles from which one can participate in a Life Script Blockage Program Game: Rescuer - Star - Star, Persecutor - Violator - Violator and Victim - Poor Me - Poor Me. See Energy Enhancement Level 3 the Removal of the Strategies of the Violator, Star and poor Me. To show that these are roles we spell them with capital letters, to distinguish them from "real-life" Rescuer - Stars such as an ambulance crew. While they rescue people, they may not be doing so from a psychological role of "rescuing". If you find this terminology odd or even inappropriate, well, it's fairly old and Eric Berne's language was simply never updated. Hope that counts as an apology.

 

So, we have three psychological roles, and once you take any one of them, you set yourself up to participate in a Life Script Blockage Program Game. (As you'll see, though, it's best never to get into any of them!) People will have their favorite Life Script Blockage Program Game position, which they start off from. Often our favorite position is something we have learned as a child. All three positions are inauthentic and dismiss some aspects about oneself or someone else (e.g. as a Rescuer - Star I dismiss other people's capacity to think and act on their own behalf).

The Rescuer - Star - Star is a person who comes in with the overt agenda of doing things for other people or sorting them out in some way. The hidden belief is that other people are not capable of doing stuff for themselves, which puts the Rescuer - Star - Star in a "one-up" position. However, the hidden assumption is often unconscious and a lot of Rescuer - Star - Stars are well-meaning. Even so, classic Rescuer - Star - Stars go in to help people without asking, doing more than their fair share, and ending up doing things they don't want to do.

The Victim - Poor Me - Poor Me is a person who asks other people to sort things out for him or her rather than doing it him- or herself: in other words, operating from a "one-down" position. Victim - Poor Me - Poor Mes may put themselves down and disown their capacity to think and act for themselves. They may not use their own Adult capacity to think and may believe that "I cannot cope on my own". The Victim - Poor Me - Poor Me may portray him- or herself  as powerless, and often feels powerless on the inside; however, even though Victim - Poor Me - Poor Mes disown their own power, they have the power to initiate the switch of roles within a Life Script Blockage Program Game (which gives them a lot of power in relationships).

Lastly, the Persecutor - Violator. The Persecutor - Violator has a hidden agenda of punishing or belittling people in some way. Like the Rescuer - Star, he or she comes from a one-up position.

A Life Script Blockage Program Life Script Blockage Program Game can start once two people recognize each other to be in opposite roles, e.g. a Rescuer -  Star and a Victim -  Poor Me. A set of predictable interactions follows, after which one person switches roles, say the Victim - Poor Me switches into Persecutor - Violator  mode and the Rescuer - Star follows the switch and becomes the Victim - Poor Me (possibly also a Persecutor - Violator). The switch in the Life Script Blockage Program Life Script Blockage Program Game can be from any of the three positions to a different one. Just as with specific roles, people will also have a preferred point to switch to.

Let's go with an example. Not long ago, an associate described to me one of her colleagues, a person who seemed to have everybody running round to get things right for him. He would turn up late, or lose his glasses, or not get things right in some other way. He'd present himself as a Victim - Poor Me and then start recruiting other people's help (Rescuer - Star - Stars) to sort things out for him. He would get other people to do phone calls for him or look for his glasses or take over his cases when he was late. There would be a number of exchanges on this level, and then he would switch into being a Persecutor - Violator. He would tell people off for not getting it right for him, or being useless in some way. That meant that the original Rescuer - Star - Stars would become the Victim - Poor Mes and end up feeling "kicked" or angry. The original Victim - Poor Me, now being the Persecutor - Violator, would also end up feeling a familiar bad feeling. He could justify his anger at the world, other people and his workplace, which he really didn't like. This particular Life Script Blockage Program Life Script Blockage Program Game would get repeated again and again with the same outcomes.

As you can see, both Rescuer - Star - Star and Victim - Poor Me start off from inauthentic positions and go through a set of unconscious (or sometimes conscious) interactions which end in a switch of roles and familiar bad feelings all way round. People - maybe including you! - can repeat this pattern endlessly.

Why do people do this? There are many reasons why people play these types of Life Script Blockage Program Life Script Blockage Program Games. One is that it justifies one's outlook on the world (the original Victim - Poor Me in the above example will feel confirmed in his belief that the world is a bad place and he can be angry with it). It is also a way of not taking responsibility for changing anything about one's situation (for example, the guy described above could get himself another job instead of taking his frustration out on his colleagues).

Another reason why people play Life Script Blockage Program Life Script Blockage Program Games is that they constitute attention. Life Script Blockage Program Life Script Blockage Program Games can be emotionally highly charged and despite the fact that they produce negative attention, this can be better than no attention at all. Not playing Life Script Blockage Program Life Script Blockage Program Games might leave people feeling their loneliness and disconnection from others. (The Victim - Poor Me/Persecutor - Violator in the above example may not have any friends or family and manages to get some interaction with others through playing Life Script Blockage Program Games.)

If one looks at it like that, one could say a Life Script Blockage Program Game is a failed attempt to be close to people. The participants want to be close and authentic with each other, but don't quite manage the risks of being open and honest and instead go for a slightly more predictable relationship pattern, a Life Script Blockage Program Game (see also time structuring). Although Life Script Blockage Program Games leave us feeling bad, they are still structured according to predictable lines: the same thing happens again and again, which is much less frightening than going for the all-out unknown of being really close to someone. If I choose to be close to another human being, all structure goes, there is just you and me relating to each other, and anything may happen! For some people that's a very frightening thing, so they divert their energy into Life Script Blockage Program Games instead.

A Life Script Blockage Program Game can also be a way of confirming set roles in a relationship, or staying within a symbiosis pattern. Within intimate relationships, Life Script Blockage Program Games are often played at high intensity and we distinguish between first, second and third degree Life Script Blockage Program Games. First degree Life Script Blockage Program Games are at an intensity which is socially acceptable, like at work. Second degree Life Script Blockage Program Games are more intense and are normally played behind closed doors (you may be able to hear your neighbors screaming at each other through the walls, but they wouldn't do that openly on the streets). Third degree Life Script Blockage Program Games involve lasting damage, like physical attacks or someone getting hurt in some other way (e.g. alcoholism), or someone going to prison or dying.

What's the solution? First of all, think about the roles involved in Life Script Blockage Program Games. Which one do you normally get into? From that, can you remember getting into a Life Script Blockage Program Game with someone? How did it happen and what did you say to yourself afterwards? What's your preferred position to switch to? Once you know what is going on it will be easier for you to spot it sooner. Despite being conscious of what is going on, you might still feel as if you're drawn into Life Script Blockage Program Games. However, there are always two people (or more) involved in playing a Life Script Blockage Program Game so you will always be contributing something to keeping it going. Remember, when you are authentic you do not conform any more to the hidden agenda of the Life Script Blockage Program Game, so being real and congruent is one way out.

The other one is to own the good qualities of the role you tend to take, but not to act it out in some way. As a Rescuer - Star you need to allow yourself to be resourceful. You can be available to people, but not give more than you want. Remember, don't rescue people, if you don't want to persecute them in some way afterwards! They will just have to do with less support from you and do something else to fill in the gap (develop their own strengths, ask other people, and so on). As a Victim - Poor Me you need to own your own vulnerability, but also your responsibility to arrange  yourself and your own life in a way that's comfortable to you. It's your life after all. Do something about it and don't expect others to fill the gaps. If you tend to go into Persecutor - Violator mode, your job is to own your own power and potency, but not make other people pay for it. It's ok for you to be strong.

If you want to know more about how Life Script Blockage Program Games may affect your relationship read on in applying Life Script Blockage Program Games or have a look at the following books:

 Eric Berne (1964) The Games People Play, published by Penguin books. It's the original book on Life Script Blockage Program Games. Some people love it  - it certainly makes for funny reading if you like his humor.  Berne goes through all sorts of possible Life Script Blockage Program Games.

Vann Joines, Ian Stewart (1987) TA Today, Lifespace Publishing. This is a good introduction into the main theories of transactional analysis.

Only Energy Enhancement can totally remove these game blockages from your relationships and your life -  Energy Enhancement Level 3 the Removal of the Strategies of the Violator, Star and Poor Me.

Applying the concept of Life Script Blockage Program Games

Life Script Blockage Program Games seem to creep into people's relationships quite easily. Once you have read the above, think about your own relationship: do you recognize a pattern between the two of you that is happening again and again? Do you both end up feeling bad in some way at the end of it? Does it feel like it simply stays the same and you aren't learning anything from an argument?

If that is the case, think about the sequence of roles you are both going through. Who starts off as Victim - Poor Me/Rescuer - Star/Persecutor - Violator and which roles do you both end up with afterwards? Remember that both of you will be contributing something to keeping the Life Script Blockage Program Game going and the best way not to get into one is to stay authentic, or in Adult mode. Also, you both need to learn to own the positive qualities of each role (see section on Life Script Blockage Program Games).

Needless to say, psychological Life Script Blockage Program Games are not much of a fun way to spend your time with your loved one. They might be dramatic and exciting at some points, but they are also very destructive and have a tendency to escalate. If you like the intensity of arguments and break-ups try going for passionate sex instead. That would be a much more healthy way to feel intense about your partner! Life Script Blockage Program Games will continuously undermine your sense of safety and peace in a relationship. They might also constitute a low level of bickering and unhappiness between the two of you.

Think about how you can be more authentic, in a way that is open and honest with your partner. There's some way you can feel more connected and so be able to meet your childish cravings for attention and feeling loved and recognized in a positive way. Why go for negative attention, if you can have positive attention? However, as you play fewer Life Script Blockage Program Games with your partner, you may feel a little bit deprived of emotional stimulation for a while (also see the section on strokes). As you give up the quest for negative attention you may feel the vacuum that gets created before the two of you learn to interact intensely in a positive way. If that is the case, keep going and keep asking for good attention from your partner. It's ok to ask for attention, physical contact, recognition, and so on! We all need it.

A last word about arguing. Arguments are not necessarily psychological Life Script Blockage Program Games. At some point in any relationship you will need to get down to the bottom of all of the things you don't agree on and about which you'll need to compromise. If you're both passionate about your points of view you may argue. That's a good process. You keep pushing your side whilst the other person is doing the same. At some point it will get easier and you will rub along better, even if you may always disagree on a specific point. The way I judge the usefulness of an argument isn't whether I have won or even whether we end up agreeing at the end of it, but whether I have learned something new about myself or my partner in the process. When I have a sense that I have learned something new, then I feel it was worth it, because I understand more about where the other person is coming from. Next time round we may argue about the same issue, but from a different starting point. I believe that arguing is an inevitable part of building an honest and respectful relationship (see more on arguing and rules of engagement). Life Script Blockage Program Games on the other hand are repetitive and never get you anywhere. If you feel at the end of an argument or a falling-out that you have been doing the same thing over and over again and you are never learning anything new from it, you are probably engaging in a Life Script Blockage Program Game. In that case, check out what's happening between the two of you and find some better ways to interact with each other.

Finally, if the Life Script Blockage Program Games in your relationship are very entrenched and you still want to work at it consider getting some couples' therapy. An outside point of view might dramatically improve your rate and ability to change as a couple. By the way, consider going for couples' therapy while you are still doing sort of ok with each other, not just as a last resort, when it's actually already too late.

If you're in a relationship where you feel threatened by the level of emotional intensity of the Life Script Blockage Program Games you get into or the possibility of emotional or physical damage, which could be the outcome of a Life Script Blockage Program Game, please consider leaving. Your first responsibility is your own safety and, if you have them, your children's safety. Physical and emotional violence, whether part of a psychological Life Script Blockage Program Game or not, can never be acceptable in any relationship. Some relationships can't be fixed, because the commitment for personal change isn't there on both sides. Remember that you can leave, and that you will be able to find happiness with someone else. If you don't trust your own abilities to create the life you want to live, get help. You don't have to do this on your own.

Only Energy Enhancement can totally remove these game blockages from your relationships and your life -  Energy Enhancement Level 3 the Removal of the Strategies of the Violator, Star and Poor Me.

Mutual Energy Sharing - Symbiosis

Once connected to the Universal Energy Field in Level One of Energy Enhancement - Gain Energy!! there is no need to take energy from anyone - You become a 100% giver of energy. Therefore Symbiosis is an unhealthy type of Relationship in which you are lucky if the exchanges are 50/50

Symbiosis is a concept which helps to explain one type of unhealthy relationship. The term symbiosis comes from biology, where it is used to describe two organisms working together for mutual benefit and, in the process, acting as one. (If you're a Star Trek fan, you'll know all about symbiosis. The Trill are a "joined" species, where two organisms work together as one. They turned up in Star Trek New Generation and later on in Deep Space Nine.) 

The classical example of symbiosis is lichens, "plants" which grow on rocks or tree trunks. They build flat and often round colonies on bare stones, sometimes in beautiful colors like bright yellow or orange. Sometimes one can see them hanging off tree branches like beards. Lichens are "double-organisms". One part of them is an algae, which can produce food through photosynthesis. However, it needs water to live and it wouldn't survive living on bare, exposed rock. The other part of a lichen is a fungus. It can't produce food, because fungi can't photosynthesize, but it is very tough and can protect the algae from dehydration and other environmental dangers. The two organisms work as one and need each other to survive.

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Psychologically, we use the term symbiosis in a similar way to describe a relationship where two people function as one. However, in contrast to the biological term, it refers to a relationship pattern which is not healthy, since a couple is existentially two separate people who need to be separate for both of them to be able to express their individuality and different needs.

Symbiosis can best be explained with the use of the ego state model. Picture two people. Both of them have three ego states, a parent ego state, an adult ego state and a child ego state. A healthy relationship can be described as one where both people can use all their ego states to relate to the other person. This means there is flexibility in the relationship. One person might be looking after the other for a while using their parent ego state while the other receives the care from a child ego state place. Then they go on to talk about daily routines, both using their adult ego states. And in the end, when matters are clarified, they might go on to play with each other, both accessing their child ego states.

In the sharing of energy the energy is shared between different chakras usually and thus the people involved do different jobs, share energy from differnt chakras to make up the partnership. There are blockage lies existing on every chakra level which causes the cheating in energy which exists and is the cause of every marriage breakup - See Energy Enhancement Level 3 - the Mastery of Relationships

In a relationship with a symbiotic pattern, both people use only some of their ego states to relate to each other, resulting in less flexibility due to energy blockages. It's as if both partners take on stable roles and don't come out of them again. In symbiosis, two people function as if they only had one set of ego states between them. For example, person A might use their parent ego state and adult ego state to relate to person B, who mostly uses his or her child ego state to relate to A. Between them they only have one parent, one adult and one child ego state that is activated. This results in stable roles of A being the "carer" or the "responsible one", and B gets to be looked after. The same pattern will also result in a power differential between both partners. A gets to say what will happen, and B consents and follows. Or there might be a pattern , where B normally gets his or her way by using child-like tactics such as emotional blackmail or tantrums.

Both partners lose out in this pattern. Person A often gets power and can feel needed (for some people that will be part of their script), but they will miss out on being looked after or looking after themselves properly, because they don't access their child ego state and don't go with what they need and want for themselves. Person A might also not get a lot of time to play, but might always feel responsible for what is going on. Person B will get looked after, but that can also be experienced as belittling and not allowing person B to own their own power and competency. Person B doesn't access his or her adult and parent ego states and stays in a place of passive dependency.

The symbiotic pattern results in the classical set-up Blockage Strategy Partnership of a Rescuer - Star or caretaker and a needy and dependent partner in a relationship. It doesn't allow for flexibility or equality and it limits both partners in their freedom to be themselves.

However, both partners may have an investment in keeping the symbiosis going. Symbiotic relationships can be extremely stable and feel like they are very close, because they don't allow for difference. The roles are very predictable and therefore might feel very safe. Both partners know what's expected of them. Also, the roles in the symbiosis are learned in childhood. Person A might have started to be an emotional carer for his or her parents, when he or she was still a small child. Staying with this role as an adult allows him or her to stay within their script. The same is true for person B. He or she might have learned that it's best to stay little and not take responsibility or want his or her own way and staying within this role in an adult relationship means they don't have to change and look at themselves.

The way out of symbiosis starts when you look at what your investment in it is. Do you need to be needed? Do you need to be in control to feel safe (like person A)? Or do you get scared of being yourself or going out into the world? Or you may still have a lot of longing for being a child left over from your childhood and instead of facing the grief over your lost childhood you might opt for becoming the dependent person in an adult relationship (like person B). Remember that both people miss out on some of their innate capacities: person A on looking after themselves and going for what's good for them, and person B on their own power and competence. Whichever role you tend to go for, start owning what you are missing out on. Person A needs to accept that they are only emotionally responsible for themselves, like any other adult in this world. This may bring up a lot of issues for them, for example if being needed covers up a fear of being abandoned or a sense of not being good enough for the other person to stay around if they aren't looking after them. Person B needs to own and express their knowledge, competence and power in the world. He or she needs to take responsibility for their own emotional and physical well being.

If you want to know more about how symbiosis might influence your relationship look at Applications of symbiosis. Also, you will find more info on this under destructive relationship patterns.

 

Applying the concept of Mutual Energy Sharing - symbiosis

If you've read symbiosis in relationships, you might have decided whether this is a pattern which exists in your relationship or not. Also, think about which role you would normally take, person A, who uses his or her adult and parent ego states, who is in charge and who uses the Life Scrip Blockage the "responsible one", or person B, who mostly accesses his or her child ego state in the relationship and who gets to be looked after - The Poor Me Blockage - as the price of being controlled.

Of course, you may not take the same roles in your life outside your relationship. Person B might be the boss at work and person A might find it easy to discuss his or her feelings and needs with his/her friends. What's relevant here is what happens in your intimate relationship.

Symbiosis means that there is a loss of flexibility and difference between two people. You can get it back by trying out new ways of relating. Person A needs to look after themselves more, but also give up control over person B and let him or her make their own decisions (even if you think they aren't very good ones - people need to learn from their own mistakes. And who knows, your partner might just surprise you by how grown up and independent he or she can be). Person B needs to take back his or her power and be responsible for their own life.

Some people may be heavily invested in maintaining the symbiosis, in which case they will resist change. However, if you change they will have to adapt! In the end you can only change yourself and you may have to take the risk of putting your relationship on the line to make sure you get to do what you need to do for yourself. Quite often though, the second person in relationships will adapt once you make it clear that you will change no matter what.

In terms of your sex life, getting out of a symbiotic pattern can only be a good thing. Sex thrives on difference, on change and flexibility, and freedom from responsibilities. Getting out of a symbiotic pattern may mean that you feel free to experience sex for your own pleasure, rather than feeling obliged to make it right for the other person.

Symbiosis and sex really don't go together at all. The child-parent set-up of symbiosis means that neither one of you is in an adult place in the relationship and having sex with someone you are emotionally looking after or who you want to be looked after by will be rather strange. This set up doesn't allow for the passion of sex to emerge. If sex works at all you will more than likely be locked into the roles you normally take on in the relationship, with one person now doing the sexual "looking after" and the other person being the passive receiver. I am sure an inflexible pattern like this will get boring very quickly!

So, what to do about it? It probably won't be enough to challenge the roles you have with each other sexually: you'll also need to start looking at the whole set-up of your relationship. This may sound very scary, and yes, your relationship may not survive the upheaval, but on the other hand, you only have this life to live - and right now! You might as well go for making the best of it!

Each time you challenge the roles you are both in, you are allowing for more flexibility and new possibilities between the two of you. Keep pushing to experience and strengthen the part of you that's not expressed in the relationship (your own needs if you tend to be person A, and your own power and competence if you are person B). At some point things will become more equal and open between the two of you, and this will generate much more sexual energy and excitement
 

 

transactional analysis - driver behaviour or working styles life script blockages

These are ways in which we defend against the injunctions. These are very helpful to us and when we understand them we can work to their strengths through choice, rather than because subconsciously blockage driven we believe we have to do things this way to be okay. The names of five working styles have been developed, these are:

• be perfect
• be strong
• try hard
• please others
• hurry up

The importance of recognising these in ourselves and others is that we can then work to the best of them rather than be driven by them.

The working style Be Perfect means that we will be really good at doing accurate detailed reports, we will be neat in our appearance and our homes will be clean and tidy. If we have this style and are under stress it is likely that we would beat up on ourselves for not being good enough, for making a mistake, for something being out of place. Of course, we created the rule about what perfection is, and then we don't meet up to it we have a go at ourselves. This may also mean that we expect others to be perfect too which can be hard on the colleagues we work with.

If we have a Be Strong working style we will be great in a crisis. We can take control of situations and people will often feel safe around us. The difficulty is we may come across as aloof as we don't express feelings very often. For us there is a tendency to say "it is" rather than "I am". The former phrase distances us from our feelings, enabling us to safe. We may stand apart from playful activities fearing we may look stupid. Instead of saying this however, it is likely that we condemn the activity as stupid and put down the person who suggested it.

If we have the Try Hard style we are great pioneers. We love new projects and new things to do. We probably have a great wealth of information as we like to gather different ideas together. We are best working under pressure. When stressed we may start too many things. We are more likely to start things but not finish them so celebrating achievements may not happen very often. We get sidetracked by starting to experiment with different ideas or ways to do things. We are likely to use phrases such as: "I'll try and do what we agreed" or "What I am trying to tell you is".

If we have the Please Others style we will be a great team member. We like to please people without even asking them how we can do this as we prefer to guess. We can see both sides of an argument and attempt to calm things down. We will be keen to do things for others, often to the point of Rescuing them. Decision making is not our strong point and we may frustrate people by not expressing our own opinion. We prefer other people to determine priorities, not us. We worry about changing our behaviour in case others won't like us.

Those of us with the Hurry Up working style will get a great deal done in a short amount of time. If reports are wanted in on time we are the person to do them. However, we tend to overload our time table and take on too much. This may mean that important aspects are overlooked. We are likely to be impatient with others and often finish their sentences for them. We make only superficial changes as we are so quick to get on with things and not take an in-depth perspective. We might select priorities so quickly that a significant area is overlooked.

The way we structure our time is also influenced by our script.

 

transactional analysis - time structuring

The way in which we structure time is likely to reflect the different hungers. We all structure time in a variety of ways:

• Withdrawal
• Rituals
• Pastiming
• Activities
• Life Script Blockage Program Games
• Intimacy

Obtaining balance means ensuring that we have sufficient time for play and intimacy and if this does not occur then it would be beneficial to explore what we might be avoiding.

 

Time structuring

Time structuring is little piece of theory which allows us to think about how intensely we spend time with other people. Eric Berne, the founder of Transactional Analysis, believed that human beings need to structure time and relationships with other people in some way. He assumed that we have an inbuilt drive to create structure out of chaos in relationships, just like our brain organizes sensory input in terms of objects and meaningful categories. He suggested six possible ways that people might structure their time and relationships: withdrawal, rituals, pastimes, activities, psychological Life Script Blockage Program Games, and intimacy.

The order of the possible patterns is important. The emotional intensity in our relationships increases step-by-step as we move from withdrawal to intimacy and honesty which can only happen when we are blockage free - enlightened. While we may feel lonely and unstimulated by withdrawal, we move to a highly charged and emotionally open state when we're intimate with another person (also have a look at psychological hungers in relationships for a discussion on intimacy). However, by the same token, the emotional risk increases when we move from withdrawal to intimacy. During withdrawal we are emotionally very safe, and no-one can hurt as we are not in contact with anyone. When we are intimate with another person we open ourselves to the other and whatever they bring into the encounter, good or bad. 

Unfortunately, a lot of us needed to learn how to protect themselves in relationships as children, which limits our capacity to be emotionally close as adults.  We therefore tend to spend less time in intimate encounters and more time in safer social situations than is perhaps good for us, since our relationships become superficial and empty of real attachment or investment, and so fail to nourish or stimulate us. However, we all need time in each one of the different social situations: for example, we need time to withdraw and be with ourselves. Or, when we get to know somebody new, we may want to spend some time just "pastiming", either because we don't feel safe yet with the other person or because we don't actually want to get to know them any better.

Here's some more information about the different ways it's possible to spend time with people:

 

Withdrawal

Pretty self-explanatory. Withdrawal is spending time out of contact or out of relationship. Some people will physically withdraw and be on their own. Other people withdraw on the inside and are physically present, but emotionally absent. However, we all need time to be with ourselves and regroup, so some withdrawal time is necessary for all of us.

 

Rituals

These are highly structured and stylized ways of interacting. For example, a greeting like "Hello, how are you?" and a response of "Thanks, very well, and how are you?" is a ritual. Two people are interacting, albeit in a very structured and pre-programmed way. The good thing about rituals is that they give us a lot of structure and security and a possible way in to more intense contact. On the downside, they contain little emotional value: you could exchange hellos with a complete stranger without much, if any, emotional contact.

 

Pastimes

This is the dinner party level of interaction. Here we make polite and easy conversation and there are culturally agreed topics we can talk about, knowing we won't get into hairy situations with our partners in the exchanges. In Britain you might talk about the weather or the food or your last holiday, but you certainly wouldn't start talking about the difficulties you are having with your mother. There is a bit more of an exchange involved, but it's still pretty safe, because both parties will avoid any controversial or painful topics. This level of interaction fits with casual acquaintances and people you have only just met. It might be amusing for a while, but most people will get quite bored with it rather sooner than later.

 

Activity

This is probably where many of us spend a lot of time with others. Activity stands for "goal directed activity" with others, say attending a meeting or playing tennis. It is time we spend doing things with others, rather than just being with them. Activity may include work, or at home it could involve running a household or looking after the children. It's shared time, and may include having a lot of fun, but it may also mean we are avoiding really being with the other and meeting them fully.

 

Psychological Life Script Blockage Program Games

This is a book in itself! You can read more on Life Script Blockage Program Games, if you haven't already done so, under Life Script Blockage Program Games. In short, Life Script Blockage Program Games are a sequence of interactions with others which involve a hidden agenda and which end up with both parties experiencing familiar bad feelings. Life Script Blockage Program Games can be seen as a failed attempt to be intimate with another person. However, both parties do not take the full risk of being open and authentic with each other and the result is a repetitive pattern of interacting from set roles.

 

Blockage Removal, Intimacy and Enlightenment

Intimacy can be increased with every blockage removed. Blockages are lies. The father of lies. We externalise this as the Devil but in reality Blockages exist within. As we remove all the blockages we become able to be more intimate. This is usually called enlightenment!

Enlightenment is an authentic encounter with another, a moment of shared openness, trust and honesty. Intimacy means emotionally intimate, not necessarily sexually intimate (unfortunately, a lot of sex isn't necessarily emotionally intimate). It also doesn't necessarily mean nice and peaceful. An intimate encounter may be an angry argument, but conducted from a place of respect and openness to one's own feelings and those of the other(s). Intimacy gives us the highest level of emotional intensity, but also involves taking the greatest risks (one could be rejected or ridiculed when showing one's true self and being open - something that most people would find emotionally very painful). In a lot of our relationships it's the moments of emotional intimacy that are missing and which are so important to us all. Intimacy means attachment and letting somebody into one's heart and soul. It means we are allowing the other person to impact us and change us. If relationships don't work it is often, maybe even always, caused by lack of shared intimate time.

 

Applying the concept of time structuring

The concept of time structuring can be a simple way to assess how much "quality time" you spend with people, and your partner in particular. Think about the different ways you spend your time. When do you go into withdrawal, rituals, pastiming, activity, Life Script Blockage Program Games, and intimacy? Remember, that a bit of each is necessary, and that depending on what type of person you are (introvert or extrovert) you will feel more comfortable in some modes than others.

However, we all need real intimacy and that's also often the mode we fear and avoid most. Real intimacy means being open to the other in the moment, and feeling connected and present emotionally. So, intimacy can mean having conflict or disagreeing, whilst on the other hand having sex, say, doesn't necessarily mean you are being (emotionally) intimate.

Think about what you want to change. For most of us in the western world, there will be a lack of relaxed intimate time with our loved ones. If that is the case for you, write down at least 10 ways to change it. Be spontaneous, write down any options that come to mind even if they sound impossible or impractical. You can evaluate your options later. Remember that as an adult you always have options, so if you end up with only two things, you are either not taking up your options (also see the section on discounting) or you are not letting yourself be creative.

 

Substitute Feelings and Bad Memories Collections
(or, as we call it in Transactional Analysis, Rackets and Stamps)

The following concept taken from the theory of Transactional Analysis is useful, even if the language is a bit obscure. The principle of substitute feelings (or rackets in Transactional Analysis) is fairly straight forward. Generally, we talk about four main basic feelings: angry, sad, scared and happy. We will avoid more complex emotions like shame or disgust at least for the moment. As children we express angry, sad, scared and happy feelings quite spontaneously.

However, some of us learn as children in our families of origin that some emotions get us more attention or rewards than others. The opposite holds true too. Some emotions may even be completely repressed in a family. What happens then is that we learn - we create an energy blockage program - to substitute one emotion for another. Here is an example:

Let's say in Joe Blogs' family of origin, scare and fear were, for some reason, encouraged as emotions. Perhaps both his parents were slightly shy people, and he was an only child, for whose arrival his parents had waited for a long time. Because his parents were slightly timid, and because they were over-protective of him as their only child too, he got a lot of attention and reassurance when he felt scared, because his parents could relate to him feeling scared and it meant he stayed close by. Also, his parents expected the world in general to be a scary place so he started to feel scared of it too. On the other hand, his parents really struggled with his anger or adventurousness. They could not understand it and felt threatened by it. He got no validation for his aggressive impulses. In the end he "stopped feeling" anger as much as he could. However, the emotional energy of "anger" had to come out in some way, and because fear was acceptable, angry feelings got diverted into feeling scared instead.

Today, Joe Blogs still feels scared a lot of the time. His scare feels authentic and real to him, but someone from the outside might wonder what he can possibly be so scared of. Additionally, when he gets into fights with his partner, he backs down at the first sign of any disagreement. He might feel very scared, rather than angry enough to protect his own interests. Today, he might miss out on being assertive and getting what he wants from life, because he cannot sustain anger as a positive emotion to protect himself and challenge the people around him. He might also not be that great at sex, because he doesn't stay with his own desire and passion.

So, to repeat the idea about energy blockage rackets: An energy blockage racket feeling is a familiar emotion, learned and encouraged in childhood, experienced in many different situations, which is unhelpful for adult problem solving. In the wider sense an "energy blockage racket" could be a whole internal or external process by which a person interprets or manipulates her environment so that she or he ends up confirming their world view (which won't be an I am ok, you are ok life position! Also have a look at script). For example, a person may go into temper tantrums when things don't go their way. They feel hard done by and experience feelings which are familiar from childhood, but are far too exaggerated a response for the present situation.

Energy blockage Rackets are learned patterns. They substitute one feeling or internal or external process for something else which was there before hand. The earlier expression was the spontaneous one and as such could contribute to the solution of a problem situation. So, for example, anger is a really good idea when you need to protect yourself. Fear or sadness might exacerbate the situation. The energy blockage racket is repetitive and often inappropriate; and as in our example, it can work either way around: Can you imagine how unhelpful it is when your partner gets angry in response to your tears, rather than supportive or sad about how you are feeling? A racket is therefore generally inappropriate and manipulative, although the person who feels it feels it for real and won't be able to see that.

Energy blockage Rackets really come out big time when a couple starts arguing. Each person will be drawn into their favorite protective mode when they feel threatened or challenged. Unfortunately, rackets just keep us stuck. There is a mismatch of emotions, which then do not add up to the resolution of an issue.

For example, say one partner, Andy, feels insecure about the relationship. He feels like John will leave him for someone else. He expresses his scare to John, who gets into his anger racket (about how he always has to take care of everyone just like he had to with his mum). Andy experiences his partner's anger as doubly hard to take. First of all, it does not validate or sooth his fear, and secondly he is already feeling scared and his partner's anger just makes his fear go through the roof. John gets more and more angry as Andy gets increasingly scared. You can finish the scenario in various ways, but they are all unpleasant or unproductive. As you can see the original spontaneous emotions are much more useful as they communicate about the real issues. (It would be better if John could get angry with his mum's neediness, which he experienced as a child, not with an adult request for some reassurance.)

Another variation on the racket theme are "stamps" or collections of painful memory blockages surrounded by trauma formed negative karmic mass, black gold, texas tea (hence stamps as in stamp on your foot!) of bad memories, which some people tend to keep. It's as if people have a tendency to keep events which turned out badly, in their heads. Whenever something else happens that isn't good they go over the first experience too and the list or collection gets bigger and bigger. When they have collected sufficient "stamps" they can "justify" their anger or whatever outburst they have in store, even if the current situation doesn't really warrant it. Some people collect stamps for just a day, others keep them for years before they cash them in as part of a long term Life Script Blockage Program Game.

It's easy to give an example of stamps, I am sure we have all experienced it or done it. Imagine you are "collecting" a sense of resentment with your partners, because he or she isn't doing enough around the house. You end up not saying anything, maybe because you want to keep the peace or you prefer stewing over it. Then, in the end your beloved doesn't do the washing-up like you expected them to, and you feel fully justified in having a really good go at them, starting to recount all the stuff they have neglected doing over the last few days (or months, or years!).

The best thing to do with a collection of bad memories is to let them go. But people cannot do this intentionally without using the techniques of Energy Enhnacement like Level 1 Initiation 3 - the Grounding of negative Energies and Energy Enhancement Level 2 Initiation 1 - The Seven Step process to Eliminate Energy Blockages Do whatever you need to do to set the scales right, but then let it go. Don't go back to it next time you have an argument about something completely different and dredge it all up again.

The same applies to racket feelings, though they are much harder to change as they're difficult to spot on your own. Again Energy Enhancement Level 1 Initiation 3 - the Grounding of negative Energies can sort this out really easily. However, you can ask yourself the questions: What other things can I do or feel in this situation? Would any of it make more sense than what I am doing or feeling now? In additions, consider what the rackets you learned in your family were. Can you see yourself still doing them now? Emotions can be hard work, but life sure is easier when they are authentic and real.

 

 

transactional analysis - Life Script Blockage Program Games

I am sure that every one of us must have been in the situation where we have said, "Why does this always keep happening to me" or "I always keep meeting people who hurt me and then go off and leave me".

Sometimes it may be that we like to help people and then it goes wrong as the person we were trying to help says that we didn't do it well enough and that we got it wrong. We might think "Well, I was only trying to help" and feel got at.

When similar situations keep happening over and over again then the term Transactional Analysis uses for this is a Life Script Blockage Program Game. A Life Script Blockage Program Game is a familiar pattern of behaviour with a predictable outcome. Life Script Blockage Program Games are played outside Adult awareness and they are our best attempt to get our needs met - although of course we don't.

Life Script Blockage Program Games are learned patterns of behaviour, and most people play a small number of favourite Life Script Blockage Program Games with a range of different people and in varying intensities.

First Degree Life Script Blockage Program Games are played in social circles generally lead to mild upsets not major traumas.

Second Degree Life Script Blockage Program Games occur when the stakes may be higher. This usually occurs in more intimate circles, and ends up with an even greater negative payoff.

Third Degree Life Script Blockage Program Games involve tissue damage and may end up in the jail, hospital or morgue.

Chris Davidson (2002) has argued that world politics can involve fourth degree Life Script Blockage Program Games - where the outcomes involve whole communities, countries or even the world.

Life Script Blockage Program Games vary in the length of time that passes while they are being played. Some can take seconds or minutes while others take weeks months or even years. People play Life Script Blockage Program Games for these reasons:

• To suck the energies of the other people - The Energy Blockage program is in charge
• to structure time
• to acquire strokes energy - The Energy Blockage program is in charge
• to maintain the substitute feeling and the system of thinking, beliefs and actions that go with it - an Energy Blockage program is in charge
• to confirm parental injunctions and further the life script  - The Energy Blockage program is in charge
• to maintain the person's life position by "proving" that self/others are not OK - The Energy Blockage program is in charge
• to provide a high level of stroke exchange while blocking intimacy and maintaining distance - The Energy Blockage program is in charge
• to make people predictable.

   

ways to deal with Life Script Blockage Program Games

There are various ways to stop a Life Script Blockage Program Game, including the use of different options than the one automatically used. We can:

• cross the transaction by responding from a different ego state than the one the stimulus is designed to hook.
• pick up the ulterior rather than the social message e.g. when a person says "I can't do this, I'm useless". Rather than saying, "Let me do this for you," instead say,"It sounds like you have a problem. What do you want me to do about it?" (said from the Adult ego state)
• the opening message to the Life Script Blockage Program Game always entails a discount. There are further discounts at each stage of the Life Script Blockage Program Game. By detecting discounts we can identify Life Script Blockage Program Game invitations and defuse them with options. (A discount is when we minimise, maximise or ignore some aspect of a problem which would assist us in resolving it. Such as saying in a whiny voice "This is too difficult for me to do", so we automatically help them).
• replace the Life Script Blockage Program Game strokes. Loss of strokes to the Child ego state means a threat to survival. We get a great many strokes from Life Script Blockage Program Games, even if they are negative. However, if we don't obtain sufficient positive strokes, or give ourselves positive strokes, we will go for quantity rather than quality of strokes and play Life Script Blockage Program Games to get them. This loss of strokes is also a loss of excitement that the Life Script Blockage Program Game has generated.

Another way to think about this is to consider the Life Script Blockage Program Game role we or the other person is likely to take. One way to discover this is to ask the following questions:

1. What keeps happening over and over again

2. How does it start?

3. What happens next?

4. And then what happens?

5. How does it end?

6. How do feel after it ends? (John James, 1973)

We can then consider the reason we might have taken up a particular role, where we might switch to, and then consider how to do things differently. We need to consider what our own responsibility is in this - if the situation is too violent for us to get involved what options to we have? We could call for help, get others to come with us to intervene and so on. We need to choose the appropriate assistance and take the action required. But people cannot do this intentionally without using the techniques of Energy Enhnacement like Level 1 Initiation 3 - the Grounding of negative Energies and Energy Enhancement Level 2 Initiation 1 - The Seven Step process to Eliminate Energy Blockages

The models here are mostly taken from Transactional Analysis theory (or TA), which is one of the humanistic branches of psychotherapy with the addition of Energy Enhancement. You will be able to find more on this models in other books or web sites on transactional analysis. If you want to read more on TA or psychology, have a look at the following books:

  

transactional analysis books

Recommended transactional analysis books:

• The Games People Play - Eric Berne
• I'm OK You're OK - Thomas and Amy Harris
• Staying OK - Thomas and Amy Harris
• What Do You Say After You Say Hello - Eric Berne
• Scripts People Live - Claude Steiner
• The Total Handbook Of Transactional Analysis - Woollams & Brown
• Transactional Analysis For Trainers - Julie Hay
• The Transactional Manager - Abe Wagner

• Vann Joines, Ian Stewart (1987) TA Today, Lifespace Publishing. This is a good introduction to the main theories of transactional analysis. However, it describes TA in quite mechanical terms. Even so, you may find some of the exercises interesting or challenging.

• Thomas Lewis, Fari Amini, Richard Lannon (2000) A General Theory Of Love, Vintage Books, New York. This is a superb book on neuropsychology, attachment and love. If you want to know how love makes your brain sing, this is the one to read. Enjoy!

• Oliver James (2003) They F*** You Up: How to survive family life, Bloomsbury. A very good introduction to child development and what sort of personality traits result from what sort of parenting. Fascinating reading, especially some of the case examples James describes.

• Alice Miller (1984) The Drama Of The Gifted Child, London, Virago Press. This is quite an old book, which describes how children adapt to their parents out of necessity and may become very defended and cold adults in the process. Miller championed the cause of the child in psychoanalysis and lays down one of the foundations for "working with your inner child."

• Alexander Lowen (1995) Joy, Penguin, Arkana. Lowen was one of the early body psychotherapists, who were interested in how defense mechanisms get laid down in our bodies as energy blockage stiffnesses. He describes how different personality styles restrict their bodies in different ways to curtail impulses or emotions.

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Scripts and Energy Enhancement Satchidanand

In Transactional Analysis, whenever the communication between the ego states get out of alignment, they do so because there is a script involved.

We call these sophisticated scripts energy blockages.

One of the problems of all script psychotherapy is that the psychotherapists have no methodology apart from talking to deprogram you from using the scripts, to remove the energy blockages.

For example, Frank Farrelly the psychotherapist said, talking to another psychotherapist, "Both you and I know that curing an alcoholic is like chipping ice from the antarctic"

The fact is that psychologists have no methodology to remove energy blockages.

They have no examples of energy blockages being removed.

They have no patients they can point to who have recovered.

Even Alcoholics Anonymous say that there is no cure. All its members are Alcohol Free, "Just for one day"

Likewise with the psychopathic Violator and the Star like Stalin or Mao reflected in the bad words and actions of petty tyrants the world over.

These addicts, petty tyrants and slaves we see at all levels of every society in the world.

All caused by Energy Blockages...

Energy Blockages are the cause of all your misery.

Energy Blockages are the cause of all the misery in the World.

Whereas for thousands of years, spiritual masters have been through a process to remove all energy blockages starting with meditation.

The results are shown in people like Jesus, Buddha and Rumi. People who overcame all the problems of humanity within themselves and became truly free of all that.

Energy Enhancement utilises Ancient Effective and truly successful techniques to ground Negative Energies, Remove Energy Blockages, and Master Relationships

All our students - we have over 50 course reports - say that Energy Enhancement Works!

Come and give Satchidanand a try..

EMAIL sol@energyenhancement.org

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