ENERGY BLOCKAGE REMOVAL
|2005 AND 2006|
VOL. 1, PHILOSOPHIA PERENNIS
Love Comes Faceless
The second question
WHY AM I SO SCARED OF DYING IN YOU?
YOU ARE UNNECESSARILY SCARED -- because dying has already happened. It is no more a question of future -- it is already past.
The day you became a sannyasin, you died -- you died to your old identity. The day you became a sannyasin, you were reborn. Something new has come into being. It is just an old idea that you are carrying; now there is no question of fear: you cannot die because you have died -- it has already happened.
Sannyas is a death and a resurrection. Death of all that you have been, and resurrection of all that you ARE but you have never been. Death to the past, and an opening for the present. Death to all that you have called your identity -- name, form... and entering into a world, nameless, formless.
It has already happened!
Sannyas MEANS death, but resurrection is possible only when death has happened. If you cling to yourself, resurrection is impossible. Sannyas is a cross. And to those who are outsiders it will look only like a cross, only like a death. They cannot see the resurrection, because the resurrection will happen in the innermost recesses of your being. It will not be visible to outside spectators. to onlookers. It will be visible only to those who are participants in it.
There are things which can be seen by observers; all those things are superficial, peripheral. And there are things which can be seen only by participants -- they are real things, because they pertain to the very core of your being.
It is just an old idea that is hovering around you -- forget all about it! You cannot die any more, because it has ALREADY happened. And if you forget that old idea, it will disappear. If you don't cling to that idea, don't go on giving energy to it, it will disappear.
Sometimes it takes a long time to understand what has happened to you. When you take sannyas, or when you go deep into meditation, when you enter into any mystery school, death happens. Death is the first rite, the first process: the preparation. But it is possible your conscious mind has not heard about it yet.
First it happens at the deep core of your being. And you have gone so far away from your core, so so far away, that you can't even remember that there is a core. You have become so much part of the circumference that the center is completely forgotten, has become unknown to you. If you suddenly come across the center, you will not be able to recognize it as your own center.
That's what Chetana was saying in the first question; she does not know: WHAT IS THIS PART THAT LOVES YOU...? It IS SO new to her. It is her OWN core -- but you have become unacquainted with yourself.
There is a parable of Friedrich Nietzsche:
A madman came into the marketplace. It was full daylight, shops were opening, people were coming and going, the market was becoming more and more alive, throbbing with many people -- shopkeepers, and purchasers and all kinds of people. And this madman came from the mountains -- with a lamp! lit in the full daylight. And he started looking here and there, and people started laughing and they said, "What are you looking for? And in full daylight, what is the point of carrying a lit lamp?"
The man said, "I am looking for God -- where is God?"
They started laughing, they started joking, and they said, "Is God a child who has been lost? Is God somebody who is hiding?" And so many questions... just jokingly. A great crowd gathered.
And then suddenly the man said, "Do you know that WE have killed God? -- you and I. But it seems the news has not yet reached you. It takes time. You and I -- we have killed God. But we have killed him in such an unconscious way that the news will take time to reach you. I can understand why you are laughing -- because you are not aware of what you have done."
From the unconscious to the conscious it is a long distance. When you become a sannyasin, if it is coming from your deep unconscious, only then does your sannyas have some authenticity -- but then you will not be aware of what is happening. I will see something happening, I will see a great change of gestalt in your being. I will see the old disappearing and the new appearing... but you will not be aware of it.
You are fortunate if you can even hear a few whisperings from the unconscious. It will take time, years. But it has already happened, Bhagavato.
A criminal was sentenced to death by chopping off his head. They got the best executioner for him. On the appointed day, when everything was ready and the poor delinquent stood there before a crowd of people, the executioner came and started praising himself: how many heads he had already cut, all the famous people he had killed, and his tremendous skill in doing the job really quickly. As a kind of demonstration, he swung his sword above his head at such speed that one could not even see the sword.
This was too much for the delinquent, and he cried out, "This is too much! I can't stand this tension any longer. Why don't you do your job right away?" whereupon the executioner leaned on his sword and said, "Just nod...."
And that's what I say to you, Bhagavato: Just nod... and the head will fall off. You have already been killed. But it is a very fast sword: you cannot see the sword, you cannot see that your head is cut. So now there is no need to worry -- just, if you are very much afraid, don't nod.