Love Comes Faceless

Third Question



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The third question

Question 3


Anand Bashir,

THERE IS A GREAT DIFFERENCE. Obeying, you remain separate; in surrender, you are no more separate. In obeying, you are saying yes -- and there is every possibility that there is a no inside still. You are going against the inside no: you are saying yes. In obeying there is every possibility of a split.

In fact, yes cannot exist without a no existing somewhere behind it -- yes and no are aspects of one and the same coin, two sides. When you say yes, somewhere you have already said no. When you say no, somewhere you have already said yes -- they go in a pair.

You can watch it in your own life: whenever you say yes, there is lurking somewhere in your unconscious a no. In fact, the louder you say the yes, the stronger is the no; that's why a louder yes is needed -- to repress the no. And this kind of obedience, in the first place makes you double, destroys your unity; you become divided in yes and no. Secondly, the no that has been repressed through the yes will take its revenge sooner or later. Whenever the right time arrives, the no will assert itself, and will assert itself with a vengeance; it will carry the wound, the humiliation, the insult. It will become your dark part.

Psychologists say that only one part of the mind is conscious, nine parts are unconscious. How are these nine parts created? And what is contained by these nine parts of the unconscious? These are the noes that you have been saying. Yes has become your conscious, but it is only one tenth. And noes are being accumulated in the basement of your being, and they are gathering momentum every day and they are becoming bigger and bigger. Every day you go on repressing something -- one day they will take revenge. Either you will become mad... if you are a sincere man then you will become mad. Remember, madness happens only to sincere people; hypocrites never go mad. Either, if you are a sincere person, honest, you will go mad; or, if you are insincere, dishonest, you will become a hypocrite -- you will say yes and you will follow no.

There is a Jesus parable:

A father says to two of his sons to go to the field, some work has to be done. The elder says, "Yes, father. I will go," but never goes. The younger says, "No. I am not going," but then starts feeling guilty and goes.

Now, Jesus asks, "Who is really obedient?" The one who said yes and never went, or the one who said no and still went -- who is obedient?"

If you only judge the words, then the first is obedient -- but what kind of obedience is this? If you judge facts, then the second is obedient -- although he had said no. But whether you say yes or you say no, you create a split. If you say no, you start feeling guilty, and the yes is there repressed and it wants to assert itself. That's what guilt is all about. It you say yes, the no is there, and the no asserts... and you start saying one thing and doing another. This is how hypocrisy is born. And both are pathological.

Surrender means neither yes nor no. You are NOT there to say yes or no. Surrender is a total act: yes and no are partial acts. Surrender means you dissolve, you say, "I am no more." And not only do you say it -- in deep love that's how you feel: you are no more.

Two lovers become one -- two bodies and one soul. The disciple and the Master become one -- two bodies and one soul. This is surrender. It is not that the disciple says yes to the Master; the disciple is NOT there to say yes or no. The disciple simply exists not; he has dropped the very idea of the ego, separation, so there is no question of obedience or disobedience.

A disciple is not obedient, remember, because he cannot be disobedient -- the disciple simply is not. You can call it real obedience; if you love the word 'obedience', you can call it REAL obedience. But, remember, it is neither obedience nor disobedience. There is nobody to say yes or no! The disciple is just an emptiness.

I am all for surrender, because surrender is true obedience, non-dual obedience. You remain unsplit, you remain whole. And anything that divides you is not good, and anything that divides you is dangerous in the long run.

Man has suffered very much because of this cultivated obedience, the idea of obedience. Down the ages you have been taught to obey. Obedience has been praised as one of the greatest values. In fact, Christianity thinks this is the ultimate value.

That's why Adam and Eve eating the fruit from the tree of knowledge commit the original sin. Why is it the original sin? They have not done anything bad; only one thing have they done: they have disobeyed. God has said not to eat and they have eaten -- a simple disobedience. But it becomes the original sin and they are expelled from paradise.

This kind of philosophy is very dangerous. It has created ALL kinds of ugly situations down the ages. Wars wi!l disappear from the world if people are taught more awareness and less obedience. But in the army you are not taught awareness; on the contrary, all your awareness is methodically destroyed -- so you become a robot, so you can simply obey. So whatsoever the order, right or wrong, you follow it like a machine.

It became very clear after the Second World War. Thomas Merton writes:

"One of the most disturbing facts that came out in the Eichmann trial was that a psychiatrist examined him and pronounced him perfectly sane. I do not doubt it at all, and that is precisely why I find it so disturbing.... If all the Nazis had been psychotics, as some of their leaders probably were, their appalling cruelty would have been in some sense easier to understand. It is much worse to consider this calm, 'well-balanced', unperturbed official conscientiously going about his desk-work, his administrative job, which happened to be the supervision of mass-murder. He was thoughtful, orderly, obedient, unimaginative. He had a profound respect for system, law and order. He was obedient, loyal, a faithful officer of a great state. He served his government very well.... He was not bothered by guilt. I have not heard that he developed any psychosomatic illnesses. Apparently, he slept well. He had a good appetite, or so it seems....

"I am beginning to realize that 'sanity' is no longer a value or an end in itself. the 'sanity' of modern man is about as useful to him as the huge bulk and muscles of the dinosaur. If he were a little less sane, a little more doubtful, a little more aware of his absurdities and contradictions, perhaps there might be a possibility of his survival. But he is sane, too sane... perhaps we must say that in a society like ours the worst insanity is totally without anxiety, totally 'sane'...."

Merton is right. Down the ages we have been taught the virtue of being obedient. That means: lose all consciousness; simply follow whatsoever is told, whatsoever is commanded -- don't doubt, don't think, don't contemplate. This has transformed the whole of humanity into machines. Men have disappeared; there are only efficient machines. And this has created a very stupid humanity.

I am not for obedience as such -- it is a military value -- but I am certainly for surrender. Surrender is a love affair. Obedience is a social phenomenon: love is individual. You love a Woman, you love a man... surrender. And when you are surrendering, remember, the surrender is never towards the Woman the surrender is never towards the man: the surrender is towards the bodiless God of love -- you are both surrender ing to love. So it is not a question of domination; in real love there is no domination at all.

The man has surrendered to the love, the woman has surrendered to the love -- now love permeates their being.

The Master is already surrendered to God, the disciple has also surrendered to God -- not love, or God, permeates their being.

This is not ordinary obedience; it has nothing to do with the obedience of which we have been told, taught, conditioned. It is a totally different phenomenon, very mysterious. When two persons surrender to love, and love takes possession of them, nobody is dominant and nobody is dominated, nobody is higher than the other. In fact, both are not. And then something tremendously important starts happening: God starts happening. Then they both speak the same language, because they are both tuned to the same wavelength.

It may look from the outside like obedience, but it is not. Remember when you are contemplating on Pythagoras, that's what he means: Be a good son. He does not mean be an obedient son; he simply means be a surrendered son. Be a good spouse: he does not mean be a good wife or a good husband; he simply means be surrendered to love. Be a good father, a good brother: he does not mean by that to allow yourself to be dominated; he simply means be surrendered to love.

Let love become your whole life. When you are a son, let the love be towards the father; let the father be the vehicle of love. When you are a father in your own turn, let the son become the vehicle of love.

These are just excuses to surrender: son, father, husband, wife, friend, Master -- these are just excuses. We cannot surrender to the faceless God -- we are not yet capable of that -- so we have to find some excuse, some door. The Master is visible -- the disciple can surrender to the Master. But the surrender is really towards God. When the disciple sees God in his Master, only then does the surrender happen. The man can surrender to his beloved. but the surrender is possible only when he has seen in the beloved something of the unknown, the mysterious -- God has come in the form of the beloved or the lover.

Surrender is a spiritual value: obedience a political value. And beware of all kinds of politics.


Next: Chapter 2, Love Comes Faceless, Fourth Question


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Chapter 2






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