Chapter 15: Kiss or Kill

Question 2



Energy Enhancement                Enlightened Texts                Desiderata                 Guida Spirituale



The second question... it is not addressed.

Question 2


Anand Matthias,

"BY THE WAY," hm? By the way you love me? And you don't know what awareness is. And yet you feel:


The only thing missing is awareness. This is far out! That's why he has not even addressed the question, because addressing me maybe creates some disturbance in his freedom; maybe it shows some kind of surrender; maybe it shows that still he is not absolutely free, he is not absolutely himself.

And love is never "by the way."

The scene: the maternity ward of a large New York City hospital. Ralph is anxiously waiting for the arrival of his first-born child. He is pacing up and down the aisles of the waiting room, nervously glancing through the twelve magazines he has read three times each and, of course, chain-smoking.

Out of the corner of his eye he sees a doctor leave the surgery with a tiny, newborn babe in his arms and walk towards the waiting room. Since he is the only expectant father in the room, Ralph is sure that this must be his baby. He is overjoyed!

He runs out to meet the doctor, but to his horror he now sees the doctor is throwing the baby up in the air and catching it by the leg as it comes down. Ralph is shocked! He runs to get his baby before some tragedy occurs, but just as he is about to reach it, the doctor once again throws the child high into the air and misses grabbing hold of the leg on the way down. The baby crashes to the floor with a soft thump!

"My baby! My baby!" Ralph screams. "What have you done to my baby?"

"Take it easy," replies the calm doctor. "He was dead anyway!"

By the way, you love me? It is dead anyway! And without awareness there is no freedom. Without awareness how can you become unconditioned? Who has ever heard of such a thing! Don't deceive yourself. At Least be a little more attentive to what you say. Be a little more observant of what you ask. This is sheer madness!

Awareness happens first, then unconditioning. Unconditioning is the outcome of awareness. Awareness functions like a key; conditioning is a lock on you. The key of awareness unlocks you; it brings you out of your prison. And then there is freedom; but without awareness you can only dream about freedom. You can dream about unconditioning, you can start even believing in this.

And the way you say, "NOW I AM FREE TO BE MYSELF EVERY SECOND WITHOUT ANY COMPROMISING," shows that you have not understood what I have been saying. What to say about unconditioning and freedom? They are far, far away from you. You have not even understood, you have not even been intelligent enough to understand what I am trying to relate to you.

One is free only when one is not. One is oneself only when one is not. Freedom does not mean that you become more of a self. Your statement that "I am free to be myself" is egoistic. It is ego now trying to decorate itself with freedom. If you become deceived by it you will fall into a far deeper ditch than you have ever been in before.

The ego wants to claim enlightenment, and when you hear me saying that you are all enlightened your ego feels very joyous. So inside you say, "That's really what I have been telling to myself -- that I am enlightened!"

Anand Matthias has not even addressed his question. How he can address it? It will be difficult. He has become enlightened! He cannot call me his Master; he cannot call me Bhagwan. He has become absolutely free!

Freedom happens not for the self. Freedom really means freedom from the self, not of the self. When you are unconditioned the self disappears, because your self is nothing but conditioning, layers and layers of conditioning. It is the onion. When you start peeling it, what are you going to find in the end? When the whole onion is peeled, nothingness is left in your hands -- not a self but a nothingness, SHUNYATA, ANATTA -- no-self, absolute emptiness as far as ego is concerned.

But the ego is very clever. If you throw it out from the front door it comes from the back door, but it goes on grabbing you again and again. Now this can become your conditioning. Remember, even the idea that "I am unconditioned" can become a conditioning. Conditioning is a very subtle process.

I have heard about one man who was a disciple of the famous Russian psychologist, Pavlov. Pavlov has found the theory of conditioned reflex, and the whole of Russian psychology depends on that, because Pavlov tries to explain everything through conditioning. Pavlov says everything is conditioning, and he is ninety-nine point nine percent right, because he is wrong only about the Buddhas; otherwise he is right. Only a Buddha lives a life of unconditioned consciousness because only a Buddha lives a life of no-mind and no-self.

But the people we come across are ALL conditioned. The Christian is conditioned in one way, the Hindu is conditioned in another way, but they are all conditioned. Their ideas are different, their philosophy is different, their mythology is different, their superstition is different. They have different types of cells in which they live, their prisons are made in different ways, but they are prisons. Christian, Hindu, Mohammedan, Jaina, Buddhist -- all are prisons.

Buddha is not imprisoned, Jesus is not imprisoned, but Jesus is not a Christian. Do you think Jesus was a Christian? He had never heard of the word even! Do you think Buddha was a Buddhist? These are the other people who become conditioned.

This Pavlov's discovery is of immense value as far as the ordinary, unconscious human being is concerned. And the whole discovery was made by observing dogs! Pavlov had hundreds of dogs; he continuously was experimenting with dogs. But there is not much difference between a dog and an unconscious human being, so whatsoever he has found about dogs is true about human beings. He is a Behaviorist. He says man has no soul, only behavior, and behavior can be conditioned. You can make a Jaina out of a man, you can make out of the same man a Christian. All that is needed is a little reconditioning, but no question of unconditioning. You have to put another conditioning; you have to replace your old conditioning. You believe in Buddha, you start believing in Jesus, but you remain a believer.

One of his disciples also tried one experiment with a dog, just as the master was doing. The master has proved logically that the behavior can be conditioned. You can make a man moral, immoral; it is only a question of punishment and reward. If you reward some behavior it becomes rooted, because nobody wants to suffer. If you punish the person for a certain behavior it becomes uprooted.

In fact, not only in Russia, all over the world we are doing the same. What are you doing with the criminals? -- punishing them in the jails. This is Behaviorism! You are trying to punish them for a certain behavior so that they don't do it again, but the outcome is totally different. When you send a criminal to live in a jail for twelve years he becomes conditioned to living in a jail; he starts, in fact, enjoying it. Rather than taking it as a punishment he starts reconditioning himself; otherwise it will be impossible for him to live for twelve years. Hence the repetition.

Once a person is in jail for a few years he is bound to come back again and again to the jail, because the outside life does not look comfortable to him. In the outside world you have to search for a job, you have to find some employment, you have to earn your bread and butter, and thousands of worries. And a man who has lived for ten or twelve years in a jail has become completely free of all these worries of employment, working, finding jobs, earning money. He lives, he pays no rent for the room, everything is given to him. At the right time he gets his lunch, his supper, his breakfast, his tea. Life is not very comfortable in a jail but, in a way, unworried. Insecurity is not there; there is absolute security. He becomes conditioned to it.

Pavlov was continuously trying experiments. He would give food to a dog and would ring a bell. The dog would eat his food and.the bell would be ringing. After fifteen days he would simply ring the bell and the dog would react as if the ringing of the bell is something like food. His saliva would start flowing, his tongue would start hanging out. Now, ordinarily if you ring a bell no dog will behave like that. What has he to do with a bell? But if you give him food for fifteen days and continuously ring a bell, they become associated.

So this disciple of Pavlov was trying an experiment on his own. He brought a dog from a friend and he tried to condition the dog. He wanted the dog to bark standing on his two legs -- only then the food will be given. To teach him the lesson he kept the food in his hand, and the dog had to stand on two legs; and to teach him that he has to bark the man will also bark. After two weeks he waited for the dog to bark, but he didn't bark. In fact, he became so tired: he gave him the food, but the dog didn't eat the food, he rejected the food -- unless the man barked again! He became conditioned to that! For fifteen days you bark and give the food, and now suddenly you don't bark. The dog rejected the food. The man HAD to bark! Now this has happened -- a new conditioning.

Listening to me, beware. You may start having a new conditioning that you are enlightened.

Just a few days ago I talked about Somendra. Yesterday I received his letter. He says, "Yes, Osho, it has happened to me that now I can be a Master on my own. There is no need of having a Master -- although I don't know what enlightenment is. So I dropped the mala.

"But one day, after eight or ten days working in the group, such great energy happened that I wanted to stand up, but I went on falling. Something strange was happening, and suddenly I heard some voice saying 'Put the mala back.'"

He must have become frightened. "What was happening?" He must have become frightened. He does not write about fear, that he could not get up. He was doing some energy work on people in a group and he fell on the floor rested on the floor, tried to get up and could not get up so he asked his assistant. Thrice he heard the voice. That is nothing but his own unconscious, because I have not spoken to him. He thinks he has heard my voice, "Bring the mala back! Put it on again!" It was just out of fear, he must have become frightened of what was happening. It was going beyond his control; he could not control even his own energy. So he asked the assistant, "Find my mala -- it is somewhere in the bag." The mala was brought, and then he felt calm and quiet and the energy settled.

But still something of that experience has left a mark on him. Now he is wearing the mala again and saying to people, "I am a sannyasin," talking about me, has forgotten about his being a Master; but he ends the letter -- it must be a hangover -- "With great gratitude I touch your hand." Not feet -- "your hand"! This is a hangover! Now some day he will get into trouble again. Then he will write, "I touch your feet, Osho, I heard the voice."

He says he knows nothing about enlightenment. Then how you can be a Master if you don't know anything about enlightenment? But these ego trips are bound to happen to many people.

Matthias, beware -- you can become conditioned. And I am here to uncondition you, not to recondition, remember. My work consists only of unconditioning you and then leaving you alone. But my work is my work; how you will take it depends on you.

A madman whispers to his friend, "I am going to run away! "

"How?" asks the friend.

"I am going to run through the keyhole!" he replies enthusiastically.

After a few minutes he returns to his room with blood gushing from his forehead.

"What happened?" asks the friend.

"Well," the madman replies sulkily, "the key was still in the lock!

Matthias, nothing has happened yet. When I say you are enlightened, that is MY vision of you, not YOUR understanding. The day it becomes your understanding you will not ask, "What is awareness?" because without awareness it cannot happen at all.

So forget all about your absolute freedom, unconditioned freedom, that you have become totally free, that you are yourself every second without any compromising. This is just bullshit!


Next: Chapter 15: Kiss or Kill, Question 3


Energy Enhancement                Enlightened Texts                Desiderata                 Guida Spirituale



Chapter 15






Search Search web