Question 1

Maneesha has asked one question:

OUR BELOVED MASTER,

I HAVE MET SOMEONE WITH ENLIGHTENED EYES WHO DOES NOT JUST BRING US WATER TO DRINK, BUT SHOWERS US WITH IT. AND YET, AND YET....

ARE WE SO NEUROTIC, SO COMPLEX, SO FAR REMOVED FROM INNOCENCE, THAT WE CAN ONLY RECEIVE THAT FOR WHICH WE HAVE SUFFERED?

It is the whole wrong training of the religions, of the societies, of the cultures, which says that unless you deserve a thing, unless you are worthy of it, you cannot get it. That is the reason, Maneesha, that if I tell you that you are enlightened, you look here and there. You cannot trust -- "My god, I am enlightened! And I have not done anything. I have not tortured myself, I have not prayed. I have not fasted, I don't know the scriptures."

But I say to you that for everything except enlightenment you will have to work. If you want money, you cannot sit with closed eyes. If you sit with closed eyes, you may even lose money -- somebody may cut your pocket. For money you have to work hard. If you want political power, you have to work hard. You have to be cunning, you have to be dishonest, you have to be a hypocrite. You have to use all kinds of right or wrong means to achieve the end. Only enlightenment, in the whole phenomenon of existence, is without any need to deserve it.

It is already there. You can deny it as long as you want, you can find excuses as long as you want, but finally you will be tired of excuses and you will have to accept it -- "Yes, I am enlightened."

It is just a totally different phenomenon. It is neither money, nor power, nor prestige, nor reputation. You don't have to learn it, you don't have to earn it. It is in your very heart, it is your heartbeat. You have just to look into your own being.

Now something really serious. You see, Sardar Gurudayal Singh already laughs. And it is a difficult one, Sardar!

Before I tell the joke, I have to tell you that if you tell a joke to an Englishman, he laughs twice. Once, not to look stupid; and again in the middle of the night when he gets it. If you tell the same joke to a German, he simply wonders why people are laughing. My oldest sannyasin, Haridas, is here. He is from Germany. He has been with me almost for fifteen years, but even today he asks people, "Why were you laughing?" The German mind has a speciality, it is a very serious mind. Laughing is a non-serious affair.

If you tell the same joke to a Jew, he will interrupt you in the middle. He will say, "Shut up. This is an old joke and moreover you are telling it all wrong." It is very difficult to make a Jew laugh at a joke because almost all the jokes are Jewish. That is their monopoly. And the reason is that they have suffered most in the world. Just to keep going, they have had to find something to laugh at; otherwise life was nothing but suffering.

Since Moses left Egypt with his followers to find the holy land in Israel, for four thousand years the Jews have been continuously in suffering. It has not stopped for a single moment. Adolf Hitler alone killed six million Jews. But because of their continuous suffering they had to invent something to laugh at, something to enjoy. There was nothing in their life to laugh about.

I have always wondered that there is not a single joke which is Indian. I have been searching for a long time to find a single Indian joke, but it is because India has never suffered. Even in its poverty, even in its slavery, its religion was so much that it kept it patient, like opium. The rationalization is that you are suffering because of your past lives' evil acts. The explanation is that if you suffer peacefully, your gain in the world beyond life is going to be great.

It is certainly a very poor phenomenon. India has been a serious land of seers, of saints. You don't expect a saint to tell a joke. Can you imagine Mahavira laughing? It will be as strange as meeting a buffalo laughing. You can believe in the buffalo, but you cannot believe that Mahavir will laugh.

Mabel is putting her hair up in curlers in front of the mirror in her room at the Dark Shadows Hotel.

"Do you realize, George," she says, "that this room is supposed to be haunted by a blood-thirsty ghost that returns every year on this date at midnight to find a human sacrifice?

"George...? George...?"

Do you see that Sardar Gurudayal has not laughed? In the middle of the night he will get the idea.

Wu, the Chinaman, always eats at Plato Salado's Greek restaurant, because Plato makes such good fried rice.

Every night, Wu comes in, sits down, and orders "flied lice." And every night, Plato collapses laughing when he hears Wu making his order. Sometimes, Plato even tells all the other customers to be quiet and listen to Wu asking for his "flied lice."

Finally, Wu gets really pissed off and decides to practice saying "fried rice" correctly.

The next time Wu goes into Plato's restaurant, he announces very plainly, "Fried rice, please."

Plato looks up in shock.

"What did you say?" asks the Greek.

"You heard what I said," shouts back Wu, "you flucking Gleek plick!"

Rainbow Banana-Kiss, the aging hippy, is puffing away frantically on his reefer in complete distress over his failing marriage. Desperate, he picks up the phone, pulls out a phone number that he has been keeping in his pocket, and dials it.

"Hello," says the tape-recorded voice at the other end, "this is Julie Frostbelly of Soulmate Divorce Company.

"We know your troubles," the voice continues. "Your story probably goes something like this... A few years ago, you met someone special. It was wonderful. The honeymoon was ecstatic. You instantly remembered your past lives together. Your sex was true tantric love. Channels and psychics confirmed what you already knew intuitively, that you had found your soulmate.

"Now, it is years later," the taped voice goes on. "The glow is gone. The sex is ordinary, and your soulmate is a pain in the neck. Your partner takes the biggest piece of cake, wants more money, and falls in love with any shmuck that walks by and winks. Face it -- the relationship is dead.

"Soulmate Divorce is here to help you. Our attorneys , Boris Babblebrain and Henry Hypojerk, will get you a complete legal divorce in keeping with your cosmic lifestyle.

"Through creative therapy, you can make crucial decisions like who gets to keep the water bed, the Tarot cards, and the children.

"Come and see us, and for your comfort, our staff psychics will help free you from any karmic stress. Each of you will be given your own personalized divorce mantra.

"After all, you'll probably wind up together again in the next life!"

Percy and Peggy Sue get married and go on honeymoon to the Bahamas. While they are there, Percy buys a beautiful parrot in a cage and takes it back to the hotel room.

But every time that Percy and Peggy Sue start making love, the parrot starts commenting on their movements.

The cheeky parrot says things like, "Thatta girl, Peggy Sue!" and "Come on Percy, you can do better than that!" and "Oh! Oh! Slow down! Speed up, turn left...!"

Finally, the parrot's descriptions get so explicit that Percy jumps off the bed and flings a sheet over the cage. "If you don't shut up," he shouts, "I'm going to send you to the zoo!"

That evening the honeymooners are packing to leave their hotel. But Peggy Sue is having some trouble closing her suitcase; she cannot fasten the lock.

"Darling," says Percy, "why don't you get on top, and I'll try." But the suitcase will not close.

"Look, sweetheart," says Peggy Sue, "you get on top and I'll try." But that does not work, either.

"Listen," suggests Percy, "why don't we both get on top, and we can both try."

At this point, the parrot pulls the sheet off its cage and shrieks, "Zoo or no zoo, this I've gotta see!"

Nivedano...

(Drumbeat)

(Gibberish)

Nivedano...

(Drumbeat)

Be silent.

You have thrown away your mind.

Close your eyes,

feel the body to be completely frozen.

Look in. The deeper you can go,

the closer you will be to your buddha-nature.

It is very simple because it is your own space, you are not trespassing in anybody else's space. You are entering into your own being.

Deeper and deeper. You will start feeling a deep silence, a peace that passeth understanding, and a new fresh life energy, a blissfulness that you have never dreamt of.

This is your eternity, this is your inner buddha. Those who go in search somewhere else are lost.

Those who go in are surprised to find that the whole splendor and treasure of existence is available to them.

Being at the center of your life source, you are also connected with the universe. Your heartbeat slowly starts becoming more harmonious with the heartbeat of the universe.

When they become one you have arrived home.

To make it more clear, Nivedano...

(Drumbeat)

Relax... let go... just watch.

The body is there, the mind is there,

but you are not.

You are the watcher.

This watching witnessing self is the buddha.

Rejoice in finding it.

Let it sink into every fiber of your being

so when you come out you are not the same person

as you were going in, you bring something of the buddha with you.

Every day it goes on increasing. A moment comes that the buddha is there, whether you are in or out. That is the ultimate fulfillment.

The process is very simple. Whatever you are experiencing now, go on experiencing it in your twenty-four hour activities. Just like an undercurrent, just like breathing, just like a heartbeat.

You don't have to remember it, it is there.

You know it is there, and this knowing will transform your whole being, all your activities, your whole personality.

It will give you a new birth, a resurrection.

Nivedano...

(Drumbeat)

Come back,

but don't come back as you have gone in,

bring something from the inner treasure with you.

Peacefully, silently, gracefully

sit down like a buddha for a few seconds,

just remembering,

just reminding yourself

that this is the only experience in the world

for which nothing special is required,

no effort, no discipline.

It is already your nature.

You are it.

Okay, Maneesha?

Yes, Beloved Master.

Can we celebrate the resurrection of the buddhas?