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Wisdom And Understanding

Fourth Question



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The fourth question:

Question 4


ERHARD IS ABSOLUTELY RIGHT, but you can misunderstand him because whatsoever he is saying is as profound as anything that Lao Tzu can say. You can misunderstand him.

Try to understand it. Profundities are dangerous, and listened to by ignorant people they can become very very dangerous. Joined with your stupidity, a profundity can become a very great fall.

Yes, this is absolutely right: problems that you have been trying to change or put up with clear up in the process of life itself -- that's true, a statement of fact, it happens that way. But then the problem arises whether meditation is compatible with it or not. Now your stupidity has come in.

Meditation is also part of life -- you have to do it as you have to do many other things. Why take meditation as something which is not part of life? Meditation is part of life, you have to pass through it too. You have come to meditation because something in you needed it, otherwise why should you come? The whole world has not come to me, only a few people have come to me. I am as available to them as I am available to you. Even people who live in Poona have not come, and you may have crossed oceans.

There is something in you, a deep desire for it.... Sex alone is not life, food alone is not life. Meditation is as much life as anything else, and it is your part in life to pass through it.

Now, what Erhard says is absolutely true, a statement of fact. Nothing else is needed, one needs only to live and everything settles by itself. But meditation is also part of life, yoga is also part of life, one has to pass through it. You cannot escape it. If you try to escape it, that part which you have not fulfilled will always remain hanging over you and you will feel that something has remained incomplete.

Be courageous and don't escape from anywhere. Wherever your inner life leads you, go! Don't bother where it leads you. Sometimes it will lead you astray, that I know, but to go astray is also part of life. Nobody can always be right, and people who try always to be right die almost absolute failures. Don't be bothered that you may go astray, if life leads you astray, go! Go happily! The energy that leads you astray will bring you back. That sojourn may be a part of the final growth.

This is my experience: that in the end one finds that everything fits together. Everything that you did, good and bad, right and wrong, moral and immoral -- whatsoever you did, in the end one finds life is really wonderful, everything fits. If you look back you would not like to change anything, because if you change even a part then the whole would be changed.

This is what acceptance is. This is what the Hindu attitude about fate or the Mohammedan attitude about kismet is. The attitude is very simple, only this: whatsoever happens, take it as part of your destiny. Move into it. Don't withhold yourself.

If you have to err, err -- but err totally. If you have to fall, fall -- but fall like a drunkard, completely. Don't resist, because then you miss. If you have to live in darkness, live in darkness -- but happily and dancingly. Why be miserable? If you are feeling hell around you, feel it -- it may be part of your destiny, part of your growth.

Of course I know that when one passes through hell, it is very difficult. That I know. Because growth is difficult. When one passes through a problem, a heart-rending problem, a crisis, one wants to escape; one wants not to face it; one wants to be a coward. But that way you will miss something that was going to become a part of the final whole, of the final harmony. If you have lived totally... I don't make any conditions. I say live unconditionally. If your inner voice tells you to meditate, meditate. If your inner voice tells you to go and drink, then drink and be a drunkard. But be total, because only through totality does one transcend. Only through totality is one transformed because only through totality does one start understanding what one is doing.

People come to me and they say that they have much anger in them and they would like not to have it any more. They have had enough of it and they have suffered much for it. Their whole life has become miserable. And they repent much, whenever they become angry they repent much. They try again and again not to be angry, they decide not to be angry, they put all their willpower into it, but after a few hours they have forgotten. Again something happens, a situation occurs, and they are angry. So what to do?

I tell them: Don't repent. Begin from there. Don't repent, at least that much you can do. Be angry and be totally angry and don't repent. And don't feel sorry about it. You have been angry, accept the fact that you are a man with an angry nature. Okay. Be totally angry. Because that repentance is not allowing you to be totally angry, something is being withheld. That part which remains inside and has not been expressed becomes poisonous, a canceric growth. It will color all your life, the whole of your life. Be angry, and when you are angry let the phenomenon be such that you can say, "I am anger, not angry." Nobody is left behind to look at it -- you are anger. It will become a fire, a hellfire.

It will be great suffering but it has to be so. It may be that if you can be really in a hellfire only once you will become so alert about it that there will be no need to decide against it. The very experience will have decided everything -- you will never go near it again. Not that you take a vow against it, not that you go to the church and confess and repent.... People start enjoying that too; they start indulging in repentance also.

I have heard that a woman came for the seventh time to the Father in the church to confess a sin. Even the Father was a little surprised because it was the same sin again and again -- that she had made love to a man to whom she was not married.

So the Father said, "Have you committed the sin seven times or only once?"

She said, "Only once."

So he said, "Then why do you go on confessing it? You have already confessed seven times."

She said, "I love to talk about it. It's so beautiful just to think about it."

Even in imagination, confessing to a Father....

People start indulging in their repentance, confessions. They may even exaggerate -- this has been my feeling. Saint Augustine's book CONFESSIONS seems to be an exaggeration; he seems to be indulging in it. The very idea of committing so many sins seems to be appealing. In India, Gandhi's autobiography seems to be an exaggeration. He goes on talking and talking about his sins, it seems he is enjoying it. And now psychologists say that there are people who exaggerate their sins because then, against that background, they become great saints. Because they have not left ordinary sins, they were such great sinners, and now they have become such great saints! The distance is vast and the revolution great.

Only a great sinner can be a great saint. How can an ordinary sinner be? You smoke a cigarette -- do you think you can become an Augustine or a Gandhi just because you smoked a cigarette once, or you looked at a woman and a lust arose in you, that's all? That won't do, it is not enough material. You cannot create a big saint out of small sins, you have to be a great sinner.

So people who write their autobiographies should never be believed. I must have read thousands of autobiographies but this is my observation: that there exists no other sort of fiction which is more fictitious. Autobiography is the greatest fiction. All autobiographies are fictitious. Either one goes on praising himself or one goes on condemning himself, but both are untrue because in both ways one starts becoming extraordinary. The ego cannot be fulfilled by just being ordinary.

Somebody asked Rinzai, "What do you do? What is your practice, what is your SADHANA?"

And he said such a simple thing -- how could you make an autobiography out of it? He said, "When I feel hungry I eat, and when I feel sleepy I go to sleep, that's all."

How can you make an autobiography out of it? And Rinzai would not look like a great saint either. What type of a saint would this be?

After Rinzai died, his disciple was lecturing in a monastery. A man belonging to the opposite sect stood up; he was feeling very jealous because so many people had come to listen.

So he stood up and he said, "One question, sir. You are talking too much about your Master. But mine is a real Master, he can do thousands of miracles. I have seen with my own eyes: he was standing on one bank of the river, and it was the time of rains and the river was flooded. And on the other bank a disciple was standing with a copy-book in his hand. On one bank my Master wrote with a pencil and it was written on the disciple's copy-book on the other bank. Can you say anything about your Master, what miracles he did?"

The disciple said, "I know only of one miracle that my Master used to do -- every day, every minute

Silence fell all over the hall. People became curious: what miracle had Rinzai done?

The disciple said, "When he felt hungry he ate and when he felt sleepy he slept. That's the only miracle that he did."

You will not think it much of a miracle but it is. It is a very profound phenomenon. It means to be natural completely. You are almost fighting. When you feel hungry you don't eat because a thousand and one other things have to be done; when you don't feel hungry you eat because now is the time to eat. When you feel sleepy you avoid it because there is a dance worth going to, or a movie worth seeing. When you feel sleepy you are sitting in the movie. When you don't feel sleepy, because the movie has excited you too much, now you try to go to sleep and you have to take tranquilizers.

To be unnatural has become our natural life. Of course to be natural is a miracle, the greatest miracle: just to delight in ordinary things, in eating, sleeping, drinking, the breeze that passes you.... Enjoying ordinary things, delighting in them, the whole of life becomes a celebration.

Erhard is right. He is saying a Lao Tzuan thing: "Problems that you have been trying to change or put up with clear up in the process of life itself." Live life, live in its totality, move in all its dimensions -- indulge in every dimension, indulge totally, and in the end you will find that everything helped. Everything, I say: even the wife who created so much misery for you, even that; even the child that you loved so much and died early, even that; even the business that failed and you became broke, yes, even that. Everything! Failure and success, pain and pleasure, right and wrong, going astray and coming back home -- everything helps.

And out of this chaos arises a harmony. But one has to live it totally. I am not saying that everyone reaches to that harmony. No, that is a possibility. One can reach, one may miss, and people who miss are those people who try hard to reach it. People who attain to it are people who don't bother much about attaining it, they simply live moment to moment.

That final harmony, that crescendo, is a cumulative effect. So enjoy wherever you are, be grateful, whatever you have. Feel deep gratitude -- let that be your only prayer. Go totally wherever you go. If you go to a prostitute, go totally... and I know that even to your wife you have not gone totally. If you drink wine, drink it totally... and I know you have not even drunk water totally.

This incomplete life cannot become a crescendo; this life lived always incomplete, fragmentary, cannot create a harmony. You will die a chaos -- that's why you will die always afraid of death. And when death knocks at your door you will tremble -- because the life harmony has not yet been achieved, and death has come. You have not lived life, and death has come. You are as yet incomplete, in fact unborn, and death has come. You tremble.

A man who has lived his life, one who has lived his day, always accepts death beautifully, because there is nothing left to be done any more. He has done all, he has lived all and he moved in all directions. All that life could give he had accumulated in him. He has accumulated the honey of life, now he is ready to die. There is nothing else.

Do you know? -- for one spoonful of honey a bee has to visit five thousand flowers -- for one spoonful of honey five thousand flowers! And for one pound of honey -- scientists have measured -- they say thousands of miles have to be traveled by bees. One spoonful of honey five thousand flowers! One spoonful of harmony and five thousand experiences, thousands and thousands of experiences....

And remember only one thing: wherever you are be totally there, otherwise you will visit the flower and you will come away without the honey. That is the only misery that can happen to a man and that happens to almost ninety-nine per cent of people. You are in such a hurry -- just think of a bee in such a hurry that she goes to the flower but never touches it because she is in such a hurry to go to another flower. Incomplete, she moves to another flower but by the time she has reached the other flower the idea is hankering in her mind to go to another. She visits five thousand or five million flowers and comes back empty-handed. Don't be that type of bee! When you visit a flower, really visit it. Forget about all other flowers in the world -- there exist no others at that moment. Just be a bee -- hum and delight and enjoy the flower. Be with it as totally as possible. Then you accumulate life's honey and when you die you die blissfully, ecstatically. You lived. There is no complaint in your heart, no grudge.

And I tell you that if you have lived all moments in their totality, in awareness, at the moment of death you can bless all -- your friends and your enemies. Yes, your enemies also, because without them you would not have been able to reach to this crescendo. They were part, part of a mysterious phenomenon that is life.


Next: Chapter 10, Wisdom And Understanding, Fifth Question


Energy Enhancement          Enlightened Texts          Taoism          Tao: The three treasures



Chapter 10






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