Chapter 20: Base your Rule on the Rule

Question 9



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Question 9


No, I will take it later. Woman is by nature monogamous; she can lean on a single person for her whole life. Her mind is made that way. I don't say that she will always be so, it is not necessary.

On the other hand man is polygamous by nature; he cannot remain tied to one woman. Living with one woman, a man is invariably bored; living with one man a woman is not so bored. A woman longs to live with a man she loves for life after life; she often prays for the same man to be her life-partner in her life after death.

The institution of monogamy -- togetherness of one man and one woman -- is woman's gift to society, not man's. She has always insisted that a man or woman should have only one spouse. And this insistence is justifiable both on biological and psychological grounds. It is always woman who has to depend on, to lean on man, and she cannot be dependent on many men. That would create uncertainty and unreliability.

For instance, a creeper can lean on or e tree alone, it cannot lean on many. But a tree can accommodate more than one creeper, and it will be the richer for it. Similarly many women can lean on one man, and he will be the richer for it.

As I said, the reason for a woman's preference for depending on one man and not more is both psychological and biological, but on well-grounded reasoning it can be said that it is more biological than psycho logical. Woman alone has to bear and rear children and will need someone to care for them and for their future. And if there is more than one person in this position there will be confusion and difficulties. That is why I say that it will take a thousand or more years for women to get rid of the idea of monogamy.

With the growth of scientific knowledge it is quite possible in the future when woman will not be required to carry children in her womb; soon laboratories will take over this job from the mother. And the day woman is free of child-bearing she can be as natural and spontaneous as Krishna is.

This matter of being natural and spontaneous is crucial to humanity and its future. This is the only way for us to free ourselves from the age-old clutches of gnawing anxiety and anguish. Most of our stress and strain stems from our struggle against our own nature. All our anxieties and miseries arise from our fight with ourselves. Ever since man has gone against himself he has been perpetually in pain and misery, anxiety and anguish. And the tragedy is that while we can easily fight with ourselves, we can never win against ourselves. In fighting with ourselves we can only be defeated and destroyed.

Once in a long while, someone, a Mahavira, a Gorakh, wins in a fight with himself. It is rare. But in emulation of this tare person, millions fight with themselves only to end up in defeat and despair.

In my vision, one in a million can succeed on the path of Mahavira, but unfortunately a vast majority of seekers choose this path. On the other hand while ninety-nine out of a hundred can succeed on Krishna's path, rarely one takes to it. As I said, the paths of Mahavira, Buddha and Jesus are narrow and hard, because one has to go the whole way fighting with himself. So one in a million succeeds. On the other hand, Krishna's highway is wide and easy, but very few choose it.

It seems man has by and by lost his capacity for being natural; to be unnatural has become natural for him. It seems he has forgotten altogether what it is to be healthy and whole. So a thorough re-thinking on his part is the need of the hour. And as I see it such a re-thinking is already on its way.

After Freud, Krishna is going to be more and more relevant for our future. For the first time -- because of Freud -- man has come to realize the utter importance of naturalness and spontaneity in life. Now a social milieu is coming into being in which acceptance of a simple and natural being will be easier. Man as he is will be accepted and allowed to grow the way he is.

Up to now, almost every culture has rejected man as he is and insisted on the creation of an imaginary ideal man -- man as he should be. The ideal has been all-important and man has all along been urged to struggle to reach that ideal, that utopia.

Freud is the forerunner of a worldwide intellectual awakening, an upsurge, a renaissance, a cultural revolution which has come to realize that man has utterly failed in his efforts to reach utopia and that he has suffered immeasurably in its pursuit. If once in a while someone reaches utopia, he is the exception, not the rule. And the exception proves the rule. So for the first time after Freud, honest thinking is being done which seeks to understand man as he is. What we have to really understand is that which is, not that which should be. What is, not what should be is the crux.

For instance, every wife wants that her husband should not be interested in any other woman. This desire, which is natural for a woman, runs counter to the male nature which is basically polygamous. The problem is that if social laws and conventions are laid in obedience to the male nature, women will suffer, and if they are laid to conform to feminine nature, men will be unhappy. And the core of the problem is that neither can be happy if one of them is miserable. But until now we have followed this zigzag course alternately and as a result the whole of mankind has perpetually been in misery and anguish.

So the only way out is that both man and woman try to understand and know each other as they basically ate. When a husband gets interested in some woman, let the wife understand that this is in the nature of man, and she need not suffer on this score. Similarly when a wife is depressed and unhappy about her husband taking interest in other women, let the husband understand her with love and sympathy instead of flying into a rage over it. If we want to create a humanity free from anxiety and anguish, there is no way but to go into and understand the basic nature of man and woman to its very roots.

And if we have to change our nature, its roots will need to be changed -- moral teachings and moralist discipline will never go deeper than the surface of the problem. The woman will continue to be jealous as long as she is economically dependent on man. She will be jealous so long as she has to bear the burden of children alone, so long as she remains a second-class citizen, an inferior human being.

When the society gives her a place of equality with man, when she is economically on her own, when she does not suffer from the biological handicap of bearing and rearing children alone, she will not take a day longer to drop jealousy. And then she too will take interest in other men besides her husband. Then she will not insist on monogamy.

It was not possible in the past, but now that man's understanding of himself has grown, a transformation of both the individual and the group is quite feasible. All of our old order was based on the needs of man, not on the understanding of his nature. We made laws according to the needs of our society, not according to needs of human nature. But after Freud, a revolution is taking place in man's mind, and I believe the return of Krishna is in the offing.

And Krishna will return through the door of Freud, who has prepared the ground. But a lot more remains to be done; Freud is only the beginning. The ball has been set rolling however. In the coming future, more and more people will be inspired by Krishna's life and philosophy. His way of life, his affirmation of life, his naturalness and spontaneity, his openness and authenticity are going to have increasing impact on our life and time.

I think we have failed to create a healthy world following Mahavira, Buddha, Jesus and Confucius. So a venturesome experiment to pattern the world after Krishna will be worthwhile. And I think it will be much better than the one we have created so far. In the past we did everything to make the exception into a rule, and we failed miserably. It is time we base our rule on the rule itself.

I repeat: Base your rule on the rule.


Next: Chapter 21: Choose the Flute or Perish, Question 1


Energy Enhancement           Enlightened Texts            Krishna            Krishna: The Man and His Philosophy



Chapter 20






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