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VOL. 3, COME FOLLOW YOURSELF

Chapter-10

Love is fragile like a flower. Hatred is  powerful like a sword

Third Question

 

 

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Question 3

I FEEL VERY IDENTIFIED WITH MY MOTHER. I TEND TO JUDGE HER AS HARSHLY AS I JUDGE MYSELF, AND BLAME HER FOR MY NEGATIVITY. CAN YOU TALK ABOUT THE NATURE OF THE MOTHER-DAUGHTER RELATIONSHIP?

This is a new disease created by the psychoanalysts in the West. In a way it is very old and ancient, a very old trick of the mind. But the garb that psychoanalysis has given it is very modern.

The human mind always tends to throw the responsibility on to somebody else. Then you arc freed of it. In the old days people used to throw the responsibility on to God, fate, kismet -- a thousand and one words they had found. Then they were no more responsible; then they were unburdened.

But this unburdening is very dangerous, because once you feel that you are not responsible, then all doors for transformation are closed -- because to feel responsible is the very basic requirement for transformation. If I am not responsible for what I am, how can I be responsible for any transformation? If it happens, it happens; if it doesn't happen, it doesn't happen; and if God is responsible, then he is responsible also for my change, or no change. Then you start feeling that you are just a puppet, and then you go on dragging yourself in the mud; then your whole life becomes driftwood.

Don't think that this is a let-go. Let-go is a very alive thing. This is dead wood, driftwood -- it is not alive at all. A fatalist is not alive at all, because he has thrown away all responsibility. In throwing away responsibility he has also thrown away his soul -- he is no more a soul. The more responsible you feel, the more authentic is the soul you have. Responsibility is your soul.

But those were old days, now we have forgotten about them. Then came Marx: following Hegel, hc created the same old pattern again. He called it historic necessity: history is responsible, not you. Economics is responsible, not you. Social structure is responsible, not you -- the old fatalism just garbed in new words.

Then came Freud. And he said if a child is not loved by the mother, then when he is grown up he will not be able to love: the mother is responsible. If the mother was negative, then the child will be negative: the mother is responsible. Freud was a Jew, and must have suffered from a Jewish mother; so the whole thing is thrown on to the mother. Now the mother becomes the God, the fate; and the whole thing seems to be absurd. Because if you ask who has made the mother this way, then her mother is responsible. Then go on and on. Finally you have to fall back on God: that's why I say the logic is the same. God is the mother of the whole, the original source from where everything comes.

You are destroyed by your mother. She is destroyed by her mother. Her mother is destroyed by hers, and go on and on and on. Finally you will have to fall back on God. This is the old trick, the old argument, just put in modern language. But the whole trick is to throw away responsibility. Psychoanalysis stopped Western consciousness from growth. Psychoanalysis has not been a treatment; it is the illness. And the sooner the West gets rid of psychoanalysis the better. Because once you think that you are not responsible, you start living a life of irresponsibility. And nobody can say that you have to change. How can you change?

This question is from Nisha. I know her: she is negative. She is a miser. Her whole consciousness is constipated, closed; but a beautiful possibility, hidden. The bud has not opened, but once it opens there is going to be a beautiful flower in the world.

Now the problem is: if she feels herself responsible, then she has to do something immediately. If the mother is responsible, then what can she do? Unless the mother changes, which is not possible -- that means unless the past changes, the present cannot change. But how can you change the past? It has already happened; it cannot be undone; there is no way. Then you accept the closed state of your consciousness, and you feel helpless.

The whole point of your being here with me is that you can do something. So try to understand my standpoint. Man's consciousness is absolute freedom. If you are negative, you have continuously to take the decision to remain negative. How the negativity was created is irrelevant, it is meaningless. It has happened; it is a given fact now, that you are negative, that you.don't have any positive flowing energy. You have just a closing energy, which closes up on you, caves in upon you; and you have no door to move out from. The sky is lost, and you live in a dark cave.

It is irrelevant how it happened: there is no need to go into the past. I am telling you this is the foundation of Eastern esoteric psychology, that a man, whatsoever he is, has continuously to decide to be that way -- only then can he remain that way.

It is like pedalling a cycle. You are pedalling a bicycle -- you have pedalled for miles, but if you want to continue the journey you have to go on pedalling. If you stop pedalling, the bicycle is going to stop. Maybe through past momentum it may go on a little, a furlong or two at the most. But it is going to stop. And there is no need to go into research on how you started pedalling in the first place, because that is an absurd research. You cannot go into that, because go on and on and you cannot find the beginning. The past is eternity; you cannot find the beginning, and the whole search will stop your growth.

I tell you: you just stop pedalling, and the bicycle is going to stop. If you are negative, you are pedalling negativity continuously. If you take the decision just this moment not to pedal any more... your mother, or God -- nobody is there to prevent you. It is your decision. But if you don't want to take the decision, then you can find a thousand and one excuses. Freud gives you a very wonderful excuse, very scientific-looking. But don't be deceived by the appearance. Freud has created a new myth. It is not science yet; in fact, the science of human consciousness is impossible, because the science is possible only in the world of cause and effect. And human consciousness is freedom; it has no cause and effect chain -- science cannot be created in it.

Religion is not science; it cannot be. More or less, religion is an art. It has no causality in it. So if you feel negative, that means somehow or other, knowingly or unknowingly, you have invested much in your negativity. Now you want to cling to it; you don't want to drop it. If you are miserly, you want to cling to it; you don't want to drop it. See the point. If you want to drop it, I say to you, "Immediately! This very moment!" Nobody is blocking the path. But you don't want to drop it; and you don't want to realize the fact that you don't want. Then you play a trick. You say, "I want to drop it, but how can? My mother gave me the whole negative attitude towards life." So you hate yourself for being negative, and you hate your mother because she has made you that way. Nobody has made you that way, nobody is responsible.

Don't play these games. You are responsible. It may look like a burden I am putting on you. But if you look deeply, you will feel that this is the only possibility for your freedom. If you are responsible, only then can you be free. If others are responsible, how can you be free? If you are 'caused', you are 'caused' by others; then you can never be free, then you are just like a rock.

But I tell you: you are free. Your nature is freedom. That's why one word, moksha, does not exist in Western languages. There is no equivalent to it, no synonym for it: it means absolute freedom. The Eastern psychology is developed around the concept of moksha, absolute freedom. You can be free, because you are free. Realize this, this moment, and nobody is blocking the way -- there is no barrier, no wall. But if you don't want to become free, don't think that you want to become free. People talk about freedom, but they want to remain in bondage, because bondage has its own comforts, securities, conveniences. Freedom is risky.

Miserliness has its own conveniences, otherwise nobody would be a miser. If you are not a miser, you become more insecure. If you cling to money, to things, you feel a certain security: at least there is something to ding to; you don't feel empty. Maybe you are full of rubbish; but at least something is there, you are not empty.

You go on clinging. With negativity you feel powerful. Whenever you say no, you feel powerful; the ego is enhanced. Whenever you say yes, you feel humble; the ego is destroyed. That's why you don't want to say yes, and you go on saying no. When you love, you become humble; when you are angry, you become powerful. Have you watched? When you are angry, you have four times more energy than you ordinarily have. In anger, in rage, you can throw a rock, a big rock. Ordinarily, if somebody tells you to, you cannot even push it, you cannot even move it. When you are angry, you have much power. When you are loving, all power disappears.

Can you find a more humble man than Jesus, more powerless than Jesus crucified? Just think of him. The people had gathered, the crowd was waiting: he would do some miracle -- he will prove that he is powerful, that he is the son of God -- this is the right moment and the right opportunity to prove it. But the crowd was very much disappointed. Nothing happened. Jesus simply prayed. Who had come to listen to the prayer? Jesus simply said, "Father, forgive these people, because they don't know what they are doing." He simply showed his love; and people had come to see his anger, people had come to see power. He will destroy everything; he will take over all power; he will become the high priest of the temple, or he will become the ruler of the country. He will become the King.

They had come to see power, and what they saw was just simple humbleness -- a humble man, a poor man, crucified -- just praying. But that was the miracle. The greatest miracle that has ever happened on this earth happened that day. Being murdered and killed, he could still pray. That is the miracle. He could still pray for these people to be forgiven, because he knew they didn't know what they were doing; they were ignorant. "They are not doing, Father, knowingly; they are almost fast asleep, snoring. They are doing something unconsciously, so they are not responsible. Don't punish them."

This prayer was the miracle. This is where Jesus is, the heart of Jesus. But when you say no, you feel powerful; whenever you are angry, you feel powerful. Hatred is powerful, love is meek. And Jesus says, "Blessed are the meek." Blessed are the meek? Nobody wants to be meek. Hatred seems to be powerful. Have you watched two countries at war, how powerful they become when they are at war? Everybody is vibrant with power. When countries are at peace, the power disappears. When two persons love each other, the egos disappear; there is no power. Two persons in deep love are blessed, but they are meek, delicate. Love is fragile like a flower. Hatred is powerful like a sword.

So whenever you are negative, you feel powerful. And if you still want to feel powerful, you will cling to your negativity. Don't throw the responsibility on to your poor mother -- because that is absurd. Take the responsibility on yourself, because that is the only chance of your transformation.

Look at the situation. And I am not saying, "Drop your negativity." I am simply saying, "Understand." If you want to carry it, it is up to you. Who am I to say to you, "Drop it"? If you are feeling good in it, I can simply bless you. Be blessed in your negativity. But then don't go on saying that you would like to drop it. Don't play this game. If you want to be negative, be negative. If you don't want to be negative, drop it. But this foolish game is not good: "I want to drop the negativity, but how can I? -- because I was brought up in such a way that now it is impossible." Look. Observe. Be honest. The mother is not the question. Your own honesty is the question, your own sincerity. And remember, I repeat again: I am not saying that you drop it, I am not trying to save anybody -- because how can I save you against yourself? That's not possible.

I am simply trying to get you to see the fact of it. The very fact delivers. That is the meaning of Jesus' saying 'truth liberates'; nothing else. Jesus cannot liberate you, neither can I. Truth liberates. Just see the truth. If you want to be negative, if you feel powerful through negativity, be negative and feel powerful. But then don't try the opposite; then forget all about religion. These people are mad -- this Jesus and Buddha -- their minds are crazy. You are sane.

You simply remain in your sanity; follow negativity. If you are honest, what will happen? If you arc honest, you will see that through your negativity you are creating a hell. Only you are suffering, nobody else. Let the suffering come to such a point where you cannot suffer any more; where you have to come out, as if your house is on fire. Then you don't cling to it, you simply run out; and you don't ask for the right way to get out. You don't ask for a master: that you will have to learn the right way and the right technique. Nobody bothers. You jump out of the window; you run out of the back door. You find a way out yourself, once you realize that the house is on fire.

Be true. Don't create deceptions around yourself. Don't deceive yourself. And then, if you decide to be negative, be negative; be perfectly negative. And I know that will help, because it will create such a hell that you will have to come out of it. Right now you go on creating hell, and you also go on creating dreams of heaven.

Because of those dreams of heaven your hell is clouded; you cannot see exactly what it is. It is as if the house is on fire, and you are fast asleep, dreaming about a golden palace. Because of that dream you cannot see the house is on fire. So you go on dreaming about religion, transformation, growth, this and that, enlightenment. These are dreams, and because of these dreams you can't see the hell that you are continuously creating, continuously deciding upon, continuously helping. On one side you go on helping, and go on throwing fuel on the fire. And on the other hand you go on asking for methods how to get out of it.

Enough! Stop it! Look at the facts. If you want to live in hell, it is for you to decide; nobody else can interfere. Go into hell, but go totally; and that totality, that sincerity, will bring you out of it. Truth liberates.

 

Next: Chapter 10, Love is fragile like a flower. Hatred is  powerful like a sword, Fourth Question

 

Energy Enhancement          Enlightened Texts          Christianity          Come Follow Yourself

 

 

Chapter 10

 

 

 

 
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