VIGYAN BHAIRAV TANTRA VOL1
Remaining with the facts
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VIGYAN BHAIRAV TANTRA VOL1
Remaining with the facts
YOU SAID LAST NIGHT THAT MODERN MAN HAS BECOME INAUTHENTIC IN EXPRESSING
ANGER, VIOLENCE, SEX, ETC. YOU SAY THAT IN INDIA STUDENTS AND THE YOUNGER
GENERATION ARE LESS VIOLENT IN THEIR EMOTIONAL EXPRESSIONS THAN ARE WESTERN
YOUTH DOES THIS MEAN THAT WESTERN YOUTH ARE BECOMING MORE AUTHENTIC IN THEIR
EXPRESSIONS? IS PERMISSIVENESS IN THE EXPRESSION OF SEX AND ANGER A GROWTH
TOWARD BEING AUTHENTIC IN EMOTIONAL EXPRESSIONS?
Many things have to be considered. One, to be authentic means to be totally factual. Ideologies, theories, isms, they distort you and they give you a false persona. You cultivate faces, then whatsoever you show you are not. The reality is missed and you are suddenly acting and acting. Your life becomes less alive and more a game in which you are enacting something - not your real soul, but the culture, the education, the society, the civilization. Man can be cultivated - and the more you are cultivated, the less real you are.
The reality is your uncultivated self, untouched by society. But that is dangerous. A child, if left to himself, will be just an animal. He will be authentic, but he will be an animal; he will not become a man. So that is not possible, that alternative is closed. We cannot leave a child to himself. We have to do something, and whatsoever we do will disturb the real self. It will give clothings, it will give faces and masks to the child. He will become a man, but then he will become an actor; he will not be real. If you leave him to himself he will be like an animal - authentic, real, but not a man. So it is a necessary evil that we have to teach him, we have to cultivate and condition him. Then he becomes a man, but unreal.
The third possibility opens with these techniques of meditation. All techniques of meditation are really "unconditionings." Whatsoever society has given to you can be taken away again, and then you will not be an animal. Then you will be something more than man. You will be a superman - real, but not an animal.
How does it happen? A child has to be given culture, education. There is no possibility of leaving him to himself. If you leave him to himself, he will never become a man; he will remain an animal. He will be real, but he will miss the world, the dimension of consciousness which opens with man. So we have to make him a man, and he becomes unreal.
Why does he become unreal? Because this man is just imposed from without. Inside he remains the animal. From outside we impose humanity on him. He is divided; he is split in two. Now the animal goes on living within, and the man without. That is why whatsoever you do and say is a double bind. You have to maintain a face which has been given to you, and you continuously have to satisfy your animal also. That creates problems, and everyone becomes dishonest. The more you are idealistic, the more you will have to be dishonest, because the ideal will say, "Do this," and the animal will be quite the contrary. He would like to do something else that is quite the opposite.
Then what can one do? One can deceive others and oneself; one can maintain a face, a false face, and go on living the life of the animal. That is what is happening. You live a life of sex, but you never talk about it. You talk about BRAMACHARYA -- celibacy. Your sex life is just pushed into the dark - not only from society, not only from your family, but even from your own conscious mind. You push it into the dark as if it is not a part of your being. You go on doing things which you are against because your biology cannot change just by education.
Remember, your inheritance -- your biological cells, your structure -- cannot be changed just by ideological education. No school, no ideology can change your inner animal. Only a scientific technique can change the inner being. Just moral teachings will not help unless you have a scientific technique to change your total inner consciousness. Only then will you not be double: you will become single.
The animal is single, unitary; the saint too is single and unitary. Man is double because man is just between the two, the animal and the saint - or, you can say between God and dog. Man is just in between. Inside he remains the dog; outside he pretends to be God. That creates a tension, anguish, and everything becomes false. You could fall down and become an animal; then you would be more authentic than man. But then you would miss much -- you would miss the possibility to become God.
The animal cannot become God because the animal has no problems to transcend. Remember, the animal cannot become God because there is nothing to be transformed. The animal is at ease with himself; there is no problem, no struggle, no need for transcendence. The animal is not even conscious, he is simply unconsciously authentic. But the animal IS authentic, although the authenticity is unconscious. No animal can lie; that is impossible. But it is not because animals maintain a morality, they cannot lie because they are not aware of the possibility that one can be false.
They are bound to be true, but that truth is not their choice, it is their slavery. An animal is bound to be true, not because he has chosen to be true, but because he cannot choose the other alternative. There is no alternative for him; he can only be himself. There is no possibility to be false because he is unconscious of possibilities.
Man is conscious of possibilities. Only man can be untrue. That is a growth! That is evolution! Man can be untrue and that is why he can be true. Man can choose. Animals are bound to be true; that is their slavery, not their freedom. If you are true, that is an achievement because you could always be untrue. The possibility is open, but you have not chosen it, you have chosen the other. It is a conscious choice.
Of course, then man is always in difficulties. Choosing is always difficult, and the mind wants to choose something which is easy to do. The mind wants to have the thing with the least RESISTANCE. To lie is easy; to be false is easy. To appear loving is easy; to BE loving is very difficult. To create a facade is easy; to create a being is difficult. So man chooses the simple, the easy, which can be done without any effort and without any sacrifice.
With man freedom comes into existence. Animals are just slaves. With man, freedom comes into existence, choice comes into existence -- then difficulties and anxieties. With man, the untrue, the false, enters. You can deceive. Up to this point it is a necessary evil.
Man cannot be simple and pure in the same way as animals, but he can be more simple and pure, and he can be more impure and more complex. He can be more simple and more pure and more innocent, but he cannot be simple and pure and innocent just like animals. That innocence is unconscious, and man has become conscious. Now he can do two things: he may go on with his falsities, with his falseness, and constantly remain a divided being in conflict with himself. Or he may become conscious of the whole phenomenon of what has happened and what is happening to him, and he may decide not to be false. He may leave all that is false. He may sacrifice, he may choose to sacrifice whatsoever can be gained by being false. Then he becomes again authentic.
But this authenticity is different, qualitatively different from the authenticity of an animal. The animal is unconscious. He cannot do anything -- he is forced by nature to be authentic. When a man decides to be authentic, no one is forcing him; on the contrary, everything is forcing him to be inauthentic - the society, the culture, all that exists around him is forcing him to be inauthentic. He DECIDES to be authentic. This decision makes you a self, and this decision gives you a freedom which no animal can attain and no false man can attain.
Remember, whenever you lie, deceive, are dishonest, you are forced to do that. That is not your choice, not a real choice. Why do you lie? Because of the consequences, because of the society: you will suffer if you say the truth. You lie and you escape suffering.
Really, the society has forced you to lie; it was not your choice. If you say the truth, it is your choice, no one is forcing you to say the truth. Everything is forcing you to say a lie, to be dishonest. That is more convenient, safe, secure. Now you are entering danger, insecurity, but this is your choice. With this choice, for the first time you attain a self.
So animal authenticity is one thing, and man's authenticity is qualitatively different -- it is a conscious choice. So a buddha is one again. He is like an animal, with only one difference: he is simple, pure, innocent like an animal, but unlike an animal because he is conscious. Now everything is a conscious choice. He is alert, aware.
The question is, DOES THIS MEAN THAT WESTERN YOUTH IS BECOMING MORE AUTHENTIC? In a sense, yes. It is becoming more authentic because it is falling toward the animal. It is not a choice. Rather, again, it is the easiest course - to fall down. Western youth is more authentic than Eastern youth in the sense that they are now falling deeper down toward the animal. Eastern youth is false. Their behavior looks like a facade - not real, but phony. But these two are not really the only alternatives.
Eastern youth is false, cultured, cultivated, forced to be something which is not real. Western youth has revolted against this, revolted toward the authenticity of the animal. That is why sex and violence have taken more and more of a grip on the Western youth. In a way they are more authentic, but in a way the greater possibility is lost.
A buddha is in revolt and a hippie is also in revolt, but the revolts are different; the quality differs. A buddha is also revolting against the conditioning, but he is going beyond it - toward a unity which is higher than man and higher than the animal. You can revolt and go down toward the animal. Then you are also going toward a unity, but that is going down, below man.
But in a way, revolt is good - because once revolt comes into the mind, the day is not far off when you will come to understand that this revolt is just going backwards. A revolt is needed which must go forward. So Western youth may come to understand sooner or later that their revolt is good, but the direction is wrong. Then it will become possible in the West for a new humanity to be born.
In this sense, the Eastern phoniness is not worth anything. It is better to be authentic, to be revolting, because a revolting mind will not take much time to see that the direction is wrong. But a phony youth may continue for millennia, may not be even aware that there is a possibility to revolt and to go beyond. But between the two neither is worth choosing; the third alternative is the way.
Man must revolt against conditioning and go beyond. If you fall below then you may have the pleasure of revolting, but the revolt has become destructive -- it is not creative. Religion is the deepest revolt, but you may not have thought about it in that way. We take religion as the most orthodox thing - the traditional, the conventional. It is not. Religion is the most revolutionary thing in human consciousness, because it can lead you toward the unity which is higher than animal, higher than man. These techniques are concerned with that revolution.
So when Shiva says be authentic, he means do not be phony, do not continue to be phony. Be aware about your false persona, about your clothings, dresses, masks - and then be authentic. Whatsoever you are, realize it.
The real problem is that one becomes deceived by one's own deceptions. You talk about compassion... In India we talk so much about compassion, nonviolence, everyone thinks that he is nonviolent, but if you look at a person's acts, at his relationships, at his gestures, he is violent. But he is not aware that he is violent. He may be violent even in his nonviolence. If he is trying to force others to be nonviolent, that is violence. If he is forcing himself to be nonviolent, that is violence. To be authentic means he must understand and realize what is his real state of mind - not ideas, not principles, but the state of mind. What is his state of mind? Is he violent? Is he angry?
This is what is meant by Shiva when he says, be authentic. Know what is the real, your fact, because only a fact can be changed.If you want to transform yourself, you must know your facticity. You cannot change a fiction. You are violent and you think that you are nonviolent -- then there is no possibility of any transformation. That nonviolence is nowhere, so you cannot change. And the violence is there, but you are not aware of it, so how can you change it?
First know the facts as they are. How to know the facts? Encounter them without your interpretations. That is what yesterday's sutra said: CONSIDER. Your servant has come -- consider how you look at your servant. Your boss has come into the room -- consider how you look at your boss. Is the look the same when you look at your servant as when you look at your boss? Are your eyes the same, or is there any difference? If there is any difference you are a violent man.
You do not look personally at the man, at the human being, your look is an interpretation. If he is rich you look in a certain way; if he is poor you look in a different way. Your look becomes economical. You are not looking at the man right before you, you are looking at some bank balance. And if the man is poor, your look has a subtle violence in it, a degrading, insulting look. If the man is rich you have a subtle appreciation, a welcome. A deep concern is there always, whatsoever you are doing.
Look at your concern. You are angry at your son or at your daughter, and you say you are angry for his or her sake, for his or her good. Go deep down; consider whether it is true. Your son has been disobedient and you are angry. You say you want to change him because it is for his own good. Look within and consider the fact. Is the fact that you are thinking about his good, or do you simply feel insulted because he has disobeyed you? You feel hurt because he has disobeyed you. Your ego is hurt because he has disobeyed you.
If your ego is hurt, this is the fact, and you go on pretending that that is not the thing - that you are just thinking about his good, and that is why you are angry. You are angry just for him; you are not really angry. How can you be angry? You are a loving father, so you are not angry at all. How can you be angry? You love him so much, but because he is going on a wrong path, because of your love, you want to change him, and that is why you are angry. You are just pretending to be angry to help him.
But is this the fact? Are you just pretending, or do you feel hurt because he has disobeyed you? And are you so sure that whatsoever you say is right for him? Go deep down within yourself, look at the fact, consider it - and be authentic. If you are really offended by his disobedience, then know it well that you are offended and you feel hurt, and that is why you are angry. This is being authentic.
Then you can do much for a change in you because facts can be changed; fictions cannot be changed. With everything that you are doing or you are thinking, go deep down. Dig out the facts, and do not allow interpretations and words to color it.
If this consideration is there, by and by you will become authentic. And this authenticity will not be like that of an animal. This authenticity will be like that of a saint, because the more you know how ugly you are, the more you know how violent you are, the more you penetrate inside your facts and become aware of the nonsense that you are doing, the more this awareness will help you. And by and by your ugliness will drop away, will wither away, because if you are aware of your ugliness it cannot continue.
If you want it to continue, do not be aware of it and create a facade of beauty around it. Then you will see the beauty, and the ugliness will remain behind, never to be seen directly. Everyone else will see it -- that is the problem. The son will see that the father is not angry for his good. He will see that the father is angry because he has been disobeyed and he feels hurt; the son will know it. You cannot hide your ugliness from others. You can hide it only from yourself. Your look will reveal to everyone that there is violence.You can only deceive yourself that there was compassion.
That is why everyone thinks of himself as a very superior being, and no one else agrees with him. Your wife doesn't agree with you that you are a superior being. Your children are not in agreement with you that you are a superior being. Your friends do not agree, no one agrees with you, that you are a superior being.
They have a popular saying in Russia that if everyone says their mind totally, exactly as it is, there will not be four friends in the whole world. Impossible! Whatsoever your friend thinks about you, he never says to you. That is why friendship continues. But he is always saying things behind you, and you are saying what you think about your friend behind him. No one says honestly what he thinks because then there will be no possibility of any friendship. Why? No one agrees with you, and the reason is only this: you can only deceive yourself; you cannot deceive anyone else. Only self-deception is possible.
And when you think you are deceiving others you are simply deceiving yourself. It may be that others pretend to you that they have been deceived by you, because there are moments when it is convenient to play the role of being deceived. It may be beneficial for the person. You talk to someone about your greatness... Everyone is talking directly or indirectly about his greatness, his superiority. Someone may agree with you. If it is beneficial to him he will pretend to you that he is being deceived by you, but he knows inside who you are.
You cannot deceive anyone unless someone is ready to be deceived; that is another thing. By authenticity I mean: remember your facticity. Always sort it out from your interpretations. Throw away your interpretations and look at the fact of what you are. And do not be afraid -- much ugliness is there. If you are afraid, then you will never be able to change it. If it is there, accept that it is there; consider it.
This is what consideration means: consider it, look at it in its total nakedness. Move around it, go to its roots, analyze it. See why it is there, how you help it to be there, how you feed it, how you protect it, how it has grown to be such a big tree. See your ugliness, your violence, your hatred, your anger, how you have protected it, how you have helped it to grow up to now. Look at the roots; look at the whole phenomenon.
And Shiva says That if you consider it totally you can drop it immediately, this very moment, because it is you who have been protecting it. It is you who have been helping it to become rooted in you. It is your creation. You can drop it immediately - just now. You can leave it, and then there is no need to look again toward it. But before you can do this, you will have to know it - what it is, the whole mechanism, the whole complexity of it, how you help it every moment.
If someone says something insulting to you, how do you react? Have you ever thought about it - that he may be right? Then look! He may be right. There is every possibility of him being more right than you are about yourself, because he is aloof, far away; he can observe.
So do not react. Wait! Tell him, "I will consider what you have said. You have insulted me, and I will consider the fact. You may be right. If you are right, then I will give you my thanks. Let me consider it. And if I find that you are wrong I will inform you." But do not react. Reaction is different.
If you insult me, I say to you, instead of reacting, "Wait. Come back after seven days. I will consider whatsoever you have said -- you may be right. I will put myself in your place and will observe myself; I will create a distance. You may be right, so let me look at the fact. It is very kind of you to have pointed it out, so I will look at it. If I feel that you are right, I will thank you; if I feel that you are wrong, I will inform you that you are wrong." But what is the need of reaction?
You insult me -- then what do I do? I insult you immediately then and there. I escape consideration: I have reacted. You insulted me, so I have insulted you.
And remember, reaction can never be right. It can NEVER be right! If you insult me, you create the possibility of my being angry. And when I am angry I am not conscious, I will say something which I have never thought about you. This very moment, because of your insults I react in a violent way. A moment later I may repent.
Do not react -- consider the facts. And if your consideration is total, you can drop anything. It is in your hands. Because you are clinging to it, it is there. But you can drop it immediately, and there will be no suppression - remember. When you have considered a fact, there will never be any suppression. Either you like it and you continue it, or you do not like it and you drop it.
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ACCORDING TO LAST NIGHT'S TECHNIQUE, WHEN ANGER, VIOLENCE, SEX, ETC., ARISES, ONE SHOULD CONSIDER IT AND THEN SUDDENLY QUIT IT. BUT WHEN ONE DOES IT, ONE SOMETIMES FEELS SICK AND UNEASY. WHAT ARE THE REASONS FOR THESE NEGATIVE FEELINGS?
Only one reason: your consideration is not total. Everyone wants to quit anger without understanding it; everyone wants to quit sex without understanding it. And there is no revolution without understanding. You will create more problems and you will create more misery for yourself. Do not think of renouncing anything, just think of how to understand it: understanding, not renunciation. There is no need of thinking to quit anything. The only need is to understand it in its totality. If you have understood it in its totality, the transformation will follow. If it is good for you, if it is good for your being, it will grow. If it is bad for you, it will drop. So the real thing is not quitting, it is understanding.
Why do you think about renouncing anger? Why? Because you have been taught that anger is bad. But have YOU understood it as bad? Have YOU come to a personal conclusion, through your own deepening insight, that anger is bad? If you have come to this conclusion through your own inner search, there will be no need to quit it -- it will have already disappeared. The very fact of knowing that this is poisonous is enough. Then you are a different man.
But you go on thinking of leaving, quitting, renouncing. Why? Because people say that anger is bad, and you are simply influenced by whatsoever they say. Then you go on thinking that anger is bad, and when the moment comes you go on being angry.
This is how a double mind is created. you remain with anger, and yet you always think anger is bad. This is inauthenticity. If you think that anger is good, then do it and do not say that anger is bad. Or if you say anger is bad, then try to understand whether this is your realization or whether someone else has said it to you.
Everyone is creating misery around himself because of others. Someone says this is bad and someone says that it is good, and they go on forcing these ideas in your mind. The parents are doing this, the society is doing this, and then one day you are just following others' ideas. And the difference between your nature and others' ideas cause a split; you become schizophrenic. You will do something and you will believe in the very contrary. That will create guilt. Everyone feels guilty. Not that everyone IS guilty, everyone feels guilty because of this mechanism.
They say anger is bad. Everyone has said to you that anger is bad, but no one has told you how to know what anger is. Everyone says sex is bad. They have been teaching, teaching, that sex is bad, and no one says what sex is and how to know it. Ask your father, and he will become uneasy. He will say, "Do not talk about such bad things!" But these bad things are facts. Even your father could not escape it; otherwise you would not have been born. You are a naked fact. And no matter what your father says about sex, he couldn't escape it. But he will feel uneasy if you ask him because no one has told him; his parents never told him why sex is bad.
Why? And how to know it? And how to go deep into it? No one will tell this to you, they will just go on labelling things: this is bad and that is good. That labelling creates misery and hell.
So one thing to remember - for any seeker, a real seeker, this is a basic thing to be understood: remain with your facts, try to know them. Do not allow the society to force its ideology on you. Do not look at yourself through others' eyes. You have eyes; you are not blind. And you have the facts of your inner life. Use your eyes! That is what consideration means. And if YOU consider, then this will not be a problem.
BUT WHEN ONE DOES IT, ONE SOMETIMES FEELS SICK AND UNEASY. You will feel this if you have not understood the facts; you will feel uneasy, because it is subtle repression. You know already that anger is bad. If I say to consider it, you do consider so only that it can be renounced. That renouncing is there, always present in your mind.
Someone was here, a very old man, sixty years of age. He is a very religious man - and not only a religious man, but a type of religious leader. He has been teaching many people and he has written many books. He is a moralizer, and now, at the age of sixty, he comes to me and he says, "You are the only person to whom I can tell my real problems. How can I get rid of sex?"
And I have heard him speak about the misery of sex. He has written books, and he has tortured his sons and daughters. If you want to torture someone, morality is the best trick - the easiest. Immediately you create guilt in the other person. That is the subtlest torture. Talk about brahmacharya and you will create guilt, because it is so difficult to be a brahmachari, to be a pure celibate. It is so difficult, and when you talk about brahmacharya and the other cannot be he feels guilty.
You have created guilt; now you can torture. You have made the other man degraded, inferior. Now he will never be at ease. He will have to live in sex and he will feel guilty. He will always think about brahmacharya, and he won't know what to do. His mind will think of brahmacharya, and his body will live with sex. Then he will go against his body. Then he will think that "I am not my body. This body is an evil thing." And once you create guilt in someone, you have destroyed a mind, poisoned it.
The old man came and asked how to get rid of sex, so I told him first to be aware of the fact - and he had missed much opportunity. Now the sex will be weak, and the awareness will need more effort. When sex is violent and the energy is there and sex is young, you can be aware of it very easily. It is so forceful, it is not difficult to see and know and feel it. This man, at the age of sixty, now feeble, weak, ill, will have difficulty in being aware of sex.
When he was young he was thinking about brahmacharya. He couldn't have lived that; he has five children. Then he was thinking about brahmacharya and missing the opportunity. And now he is thinking of what to do about sex. So I told him to be aware of it - to forget his teachings and burn his books, and not to say anything about sex to anyone without knowing it himself. I told him to be aware of it.
So he said, "If I try to be aware, in how many days will I get rid of it?" This is how the mind works. He is ready even to be aware, but just to get rid of it.
So I told him, "If YOU are not aware of it, who is deciding to get rid of it? How do you conclude that sex is bad? Is this taken for granted? Is there no need to discover it within yourself?"
Do not think of renouncing anything. Renunciation means you are just being forced by others. Be individual. Do not allow society too much domination over you, do not be a slave. You have eyes, you have consciousness, you have sex, anger and other facts. Use your consciousness, use your eyes. Be aware.
Think of yourself as if you are alone. No one is there to teach you. What will you do? Start from the very beginning, from ABC, and go inside. Be totally aware. Do not decide, do not be in haste; do not conclude so soon. If you can reach a conclusion through your own awareness, that very conclusion will become a transformation. Then you will not feel any unease, there will be no repression. Only then can you quit anything. I am not saying, be aware to quit. Remember, I am saying: if you are aware, you can quit anything.
Do not make awareness a technique to quit. Quitting is just a consequence. If you are aware you can quit anything, but you may not decide to quit; there is no necessity. You may never decide to quit. Sex is there -- if you become fully aware of it, you may not decide to quit it. If with full awareness you decide not to quit it, then sex has its own beauty. If with full awareness you decide to quit it, then your renunciation is also beautiful.
Try to understand me. Whatsoever comes, whatsoever happens through awareness is beautiful, and whatsoever happens without awareness is ugly. That is why your so-called brahmacharis, celibate monks, are basically ugly. Their whole way of life is ugly. That celibacy has not come as a consequence, it is not their own search. Now look at a person like D. H. Lawrence. His sex is beautiful more beautiful than the renunciation of your celibate monks, because his sex is with full awareness. Through inner search he has come to conclude that he is going to live with sex. He has accepted the fact; now there is no hitch, no guilt. Rather, sex has become glorious. So a D. H. Lawrence, fully aware of his sex, accepting it, living it, has a beauty of his own.
A Mahavir, fully aware of the fact and then coming to leave it, to quit it, has a beauty of his own. They both are beautiful - D. H. Lawrence and Mahavir. They BOTH are beautiful! But the beauty is not of sex and not of quitting sex, the beauty is of awareness.
This must also be constantly remembered - that you may not come to the same conclusion as Buddha; there is no necessity. You may not come to the same conclusion as Mahavir; there is no inevitability. If there is any inevitability there is only one, and that is of awareness. When you are fully aware, whatsoever happens to you is beautiful, is divine.
Look at the sages of the past: Shiva sitting with Parvati. Parvati is sitting in his lap in a deep love gesture. You cannot conceive of Mahavir in such a pose -- impossible! You cannot conceive of Buddha in such a pose. Just because Ram is pictured with Sita, Jains cannot accept him as an AVATAR, as a divine incarnation, because he is still with women. It is impossible for Jains to conceive of him as an incarnation of God, so they say he is a great man - a MAHAMANAVA, but not an avatar. He is a great man, but still a man because the woman is there. When the woman is there, you cannot go beyond man; the counterpart is there, so you are still a man. Of course, Ram was a great man, but not beyond man, Jains say.
If you ask Hindus, they have not talked about Mahavir at all - not even talked about him, not even mentioned him in their books - because for the Hindu mind, man alone without a woman is half, a fragment, not the whole. Ram alone is not the whole, so Hindus say "Sitaram." They put the woman first. They will never say "Ramsita," they will say "Sitaram." They will say "Radhakrishna." They will put woman first for a basic reason - because man is born out of woman and man alone is half. With woman he becomes whole.
So no Hindu god is alone. The other part, the other half, is there. Sitaram is really the whole; Radhakrishna is the whole. Krishna alone is half. There is no need for Ram to quit Sita and there is no need for Krishna to quit Radha. Why? They are fully aware.
You cannot find a more aware man, a more conscious man than Shiva, but he is sitting with Parvati in his lap. It creates problems. Then who is right? Is a Buddha right or is a Shiva right? Problems are created because we do not know that everyone flowers individually. Buddha and Shiva both are fully conscious, but it happens to Buddha that he leaves something in this full consciousness -- that is his choice. It happens to Shiva in his full consciousness that he accepts everything. They are both at the same point of realization, of awareness, but their expression is different.
So do not fall into any pattern. No one knows what will happen when you become aware. Do not decide before becoming aware that you are going to quit this and that. Do not decide -- no one knows. Wait! Be aware, and let your being flower. No one knows what will happen. With everyone there is an unknown possibility of flowering. And you need not follow anyone - because every following is dangerous, destructive; every imitation is suicide. Wait!
These techniques are only to make you aware. And when you are aware, you can quit anything or you can accept anything. When you are not aware, remember what is happening: neither can you accept, nor can you quit. You have sex -- neither can you accept it totally and forget about it, nor can you quit it. I say either accept it and forget, or quit it and forget.
But you cannot do either of the two.; you will always be doing both. You will accept and then you will think of quitting, and this is a vicious circle. When you have had sex, then for a few hours or a few days you will think of quitting it. Really, you are doing nothing else but regaining energy. When you have regained energy, you will again think of having it. And this will go on for your whole life. It has been so for so many lives. When you become fully aware, you can decide. Either you accept it -- then that acceptance gives a beauty -- or you quit it -- then that quitting is also beautiful.
One thing is certain: when you are aware you can forget it - either way. It is not a problem then. Your decision is total and the problem drops. But if you feel any uneasiness, it means you have not considered, you have not been aware.
So be more aware. Consider the fact more - more deeply, more individually without the conclusions of others.
The third question:
WHEN AN IMPULSE IS AUTHENTIC, I AM UNAWARE. HOW CAN I EXERCISE "STOP!"?
This is a very significant question. It is easy to stop anything when you are false, and it is difficult to stop anything when you are authentic. When the anger is real, you will forget about the technique of Stop! When the anger is false you will remember, you can do it. But when the anger is false there is no meaning, there is no energy. You can stop it, but it is useless. When the anger is real, only then is the energy there, and if you stop it the energy will take an inner turn.
So what to do? Try to be aware not of anger directly, but of easier things. You are walking -- be aware of it. Do not start with anger, start with easier things. You are walking -- be aware of it, there is no problem. Then suddenly stop your walk. Start with easy things, and then go on to a deeper, more complex thing. Do not start with complex things, do not jump to sex immediately. It is more subtle, and you will need a more deep awareness for it.
So first create awareness with easier things. You are walking, you are taking a bath, you feel thirsty, you feel hungry -- start with these things, all very ordinary things. You were just going to speak something to someone: Stop! Even in the middle of a sentence. You were going to relate a story you have related a thousand times, and you have bored everyone with it. You were again starting, "Once there was a king..." Stop! Start with easy things more easy things.
There is a fly on your head and you were just going to send it away with your hand: Stop! Let the fly be there, let your hand remain stopped. Do it with easy things so that you have the feeling, the feel of stopping with awareness. Then move to complex things.
Anger is a very complex thing; take a mechanical thing. Every day in the morning you step out of your bed. Have you observed? You step out every day in the same way. If your right foot comes first, it comes first always. Tomorrow morning when the right foot is coming out, stop and let the left foot come.
Do it with easier things; then there is nothing to sacrifice but a habit. Always you start walking with the right foot first: Stop! Anything... anything can be used. Find something -- the easier, the better. And when you become a master of easier things and you can stop suddenly, and you can have the feel of awareness, a sudden calmness comes to you. For a second, an inner silence explodes.
Gurdjieff used to train his disciples in very easy things. For example, you say something and you nod your head. Then he would say to you, "Say the same thing, but do not nod your head." It is a mechanical habit. I am saying something; I make a gesture with my hand. Gurdjieff would say, "Do not make this gesture when you say this thing -- remember this. Make any other gesture, but remember only this: when you are saying this, do not make this gesture. Be aware of it."
Use anything -anything! You always start your conversation with a particular sentence -- do not start with it. Someone says something and you have a mechanical response -- do not respond that way, say something else. Or if you have started saying the old thing, stop in the middle. Stop with a jerk, suddenly. Try this, and only when you feel a mastery, move to complex things.
This is one of the basic tricks of the mind, that it will always tell you to jump to a complex thing. Then you are a failure, then you will never try again; you know that it cannot be done. This is a trick of the mind. The mind will say, "Okay, now you know that the exercise of stopping will be a failure when you are angry, hot and angry." Then you will not try again.
Try with cold things; do not move to the hot. And when you can do it with cold things, then move to the hot. With gradual steps feel the path, and do not be hasty; otherwise nothing will be accomplished.
The last question:
AFTER HEARING ABOUT SO MANY MEDITATION TECHNIQUES IN VIGYANA BHAIRAVA TANTRA, I AM BEGINNING TO FEEL THAT THE INNER DOOR CANNOT REALLY OPEN BY TECHNIQUES, BUT THAT IT REALLY DEPENDS ON THINGS LIKE INITIATION, THE GRACE OF THE MASTER, ETC. IS THAT NOT REALLY THE CASE? AND WHEN AND HOW CAN ONE BECOME CAPABLE OF RECEIVING INITIATION?
Really, the grace of the master is again a technique. Just by changing the words nothing changes. It means surrender. You can receive the grace of the master only when you surrender, and surrender is a technique. If you do not know how to surrender, you will not receive any grace. So really, grace is not given, it is received. No one can give grace -- you can receive it. With an enlightened person the grace is flowing always. It is there; it is just his nature.
Just as a lamp is burning and the light is radiating, the enlightened person is always radiating grace. It is not any effort. It is flowing effortlessly, it is there. If you can receive, you can receive. If you cannot receive, you cannot receive.
So it may look paradoxical if I say this, but it is the truth: the grace is not given by the master. It is received by the disciple. But how to be a disciple? Again, it is a technique. How to surrender? How to become receptive? Surrendering is the most difficult of things. You cannot surrender your anger, you cannot surrender your sadness, so how can you surrender your total being? You cannot surrender nonsensical things, you cannot surrender your diseases, so how can you surrender yourself?
Surrendering means surrendering totally. You leave everything totally to your teacher, to your master. You say, "Now I am no more. Now you are -- do whatsoever you like." And when you wait, and when you do not again go and ask him when he is going to do this or that, you have surrendered, you are finished. There is nothing to be asked any more. In the right moment the thing will happen. But how to do it?
This also will need a very great awareness. Ordinarily, stupid people think that surrender is very easy. That is stupidity. They think that if you go and touch the feet of a master you have surrendered. Just touching the feet can be a surrender, but do not think that because you have touched the feet you have surrendered. Surrendering is an inner attitude. It is putting yourself off, forgetting yourself completely. Only the master remains; you are no more. Only the master is.
This can be done only with a very deep awareness. What is that awareness? That awareness will come if you go on doing these techniques and you feel continuously that you are helpless. But do not decide on your helplessness before doing them -- it will be false. First do them, and do them authentically. If the techniques happen to help you, there will be no need of surrender; you will be transformed. If you do them authentically, really, fully, if you are not deceiving yourself and still nothing happens, then you will feel a helplessness. You will feel, "I cannot do anything." If this goes deep in you, this feeling of helplessness, only then will you be capable of surrendering - not before.
Do you feel helpless? No one feels helpless. NO ONE feels helpless! Everyone knows," I can do, if I want I can do. It is because I do not want to that I am not doing." Everyone thinks that if they wish, if they will, they will do. They think, "The moment I will it, I will do. The only reason I am not doing is because I am not willing it just now."
But no one feels helpless. If someone says that through the grace of the master it can happen, you think you are ready just this very moment. If it is a question of doing something, you say you can do it whenever you want, but if it is a question of grace you say, "Okay! If it can be received from someone, I can receive it this very moment."
You are not helpless, you are just lazy, and there is a great difference. In laziness no grace can be received - only in helplessness. And helplessness is not part of laziness. Helplessness comes only to those who first make every effort to reach, to penetrate, to do. When you have done everything and nothing happens, you feel helpless. Only then can you surrender to someone. Then your surrendering will become a technique.
That is the last of techniques, but people try it first. That is the last, the ultimate. When nothing happens by doing, if there is only helplessness and helplessness and helplessness, if you lose all hope and your ego is shattered, then you know that nothing can be done alone. Then your hand reaches to the feet of a master. It is a different type of reach: you are helplessly searching for him, your whole being moves to his feet. You become just a womb to receive.
Then the grace is available. It has never been unavailable; it is always available. In every age, in every period, there are enlightened persons. But unless you are ready to lose yourself, you will not be in contact with him. You may be just sitting behind him or just sitting by the side of him, but there will be no contact.
There are three types of distances. One distance is of space. You are sitting there, I am sitting here, and there is space between the two points. This is a distance in space. You can come near and the distance will be less. You can just touch me and the distance is lost - but only in space.
There is a second type of distance - in time. Your beloved has died, your friend has died. In space one point has disappeared completely; there is infinite distance. But in time, you will feel your friend just nearby. You close your eyes, and the friend is there. In time it may be that the person who is sitting by your side is more distant than your beloved who is no more in the world.The beloved is dead -- then by and by, by and by, there will be a greater distance of time. People say time heals. When that time is very, very, very distant, the memory becomes more and more faint, and it disappears.
A third distance exists a third dimension which is love. If you are in love with someone, then he be may be on another star, but in your love he is just near you. He may have died, there may be centuries of distance between you and him, but in love there is no distance.
Someone can be near Buddha just now. Twenty-five centuries means nothing because the distance is of love. In space there is no Buddha now; the body has disappeared. In time there is a distance of twenty-five centuries, but in love there is no distance. If someone is in love with Buddha, time and space distances disappear. He is just here, and you can receive his grace.
You may be just sitting by the side of a Buddha. There is no gap as far as space is concerned; there is no distance as far as time is concerned. But if there is no love, then there is infinite distance. So someone may have lived with Buddha without being in contact, and someone may be just here now who is in contact with Buddha.
Grace happens in the dimension of love. For love everything is always eternally present. So if you are in love, grace can happen. But love is surrendering; love means now the other has become more important than yourself. Now for the other's life, you are ready to die. For the other to live, you will sacrifice yourself. The other has become the center; you are just the periphery. By and by you disappear completely, and the other remains. In that right moment, grace is received.
So do not think of a master as one who can give you grace. Think of becoming a helpless disciple - totally surrendered, in love. The master will come to you. When the disciple is ready, the master always comes. It is not a question of physical presence; when you are ready, from an unknown dimension of love, grace happens. But do not think about grace as an escape.
Because I am talking about so many techniques, I know there are two possibilities: you may try some, or you may just become confused, and the latter is more possible. With one hundred and twelve techniques, listening to one and then another and then another continually, you will become confused. You will think it is beyond you -- so many techniques, so what to do and what not to do?
It may come to your mind that," It is better to receive grace - GURUKRIPA -- than to go into this jungle-like world of techniques. This is very complex, so it is easier to receive grace." But that will not happen to you if this is your way of thinking. Try these techniques, and try honestly. If you are a failure, then that very failure will become your surrender. That is the ultimate technique.
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