VIGYAN BHAIRAV TANTRA VOL1
From maya (illusion) to reality
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VIGYAN BHAIRAV TANTRA VOL1
From maya (illusion) to reality
"IN WHICH WAY CAN THE PRACTICE OF SELF-REMEMBERING TRANSFORM THE HUMAN
Man is not centered in himself. He is born centered, but the society, the family, the education, the culture, they push him off-center, and they put him off-center in a very cunning way, knowingly or unknowingly. So everyone becomes, in a sense, "eccentric" -- off the center. There are reasons, survival reasons for it.
When a child is born he has to be forced into a certain discipline. He cannot be allowed freedom. If he is allowed total freedom, he will remain with the center -- spontaneous, living with himself, living himself. He will be original as he is. He will be authentic, and then there will be no need to practice any self-remembering. There will be no need to practice any meditation because he will never go off the center. He will remain with himself -- centered, rooted, grounded in his own being. But this has not yet been possible. Meditation is, therefore, medicinal. The society creates the disease, and then the disease has to be treated.
Religion is medicinal. If really a human society based in freedom can be evolved, there would be no need of religion. Because we are ill medicine is needed, and because we are off-center methods of centering are needed. If someday it becomes possible on earth to create a healthy society, healthy in the inner sense, there will be no religion. But it seems difficult to create such a society.
The child has to be disciplined. What are you doing when you are disciplining a child? You are forcing something which is not natural to him. You are asking and demanding something which he will never do spontaneously. You will punish him, you will appreciate, you will bribe him, you will do everything to make him social -- to take him away from his natural being. You will create a new center in his mind which was never there, and this center will grow and the natural center will go into oblivion, into the unconscious.
Your natural center has moved into the unconscious, into the dark, and your unnatural center has become your conscious. There is really no division between unconscious and conscious; the division is created. You are one consciousness. This division comes because your own center has been forced to some dark corner. Even you are not in contact with it; you are not allowed to be in contact with it. You yourself have become unconscious that you have a center. You live what the society, the culture, the family have taught you to live.
You live a false life. For this false life a false center is needed. That center is your ego, your conscious mind. That is why, no matter what you do, you will never be blissful -- because only the real center can happen, only the real center can explode, can come to the climax, the optimum, of the possibility of bliss. The false center is a shadow game. You can play with it, you can hope with it, but ultimately nothing but frustration comes out of it. With a false anxiety that is bound to be so.
In a way everything is forcing you not to be yourself, and this cannot be changed just by saying that this is wrong, because society has its own needs. A child, when born, is just like an animal -- spontaneous, centered, grounded, but so independent. He cannot become part of an organization. He is disturbing. He has to be forced, cultivated and changed. In this cultivation he has to be pushed off-center.
We live on the periphery and we live only to the extent that the society allows us. Our freedom is false because the rules of the game, of the social game, are so deeply fixed that you may feel that you are choosing this and that, but you are not choosing. The choice comes from your cultivated mind, and this goes on in a mechanical way.
I am reminded of a man who married eight women in his life. He married one woman, then divorced her, then married another -- very cautiously, very carefully, very carefully, in order not to fall into the old trap again. In every way he calculated, and he was thinking that this new woman was going to be totally different than the first one. But within a few days, with the honeymoon not yet even over, the new woman started to prove herself to be just the same as the old one, the first one. Within six months the marriage was shattered again. He married a third woman and now he was still more cautious, but again the same thing happened.
He married eight women, and every time the woman turned out to be the same as the old one. What was happening? And he was choosing very cautiously now, very carefully. What was happening? The chooser was unconscious. He couldn't change the chooser, and the chooser was always the same so the choice was going to be the same. And the chooser works unconsciously.
You go on doing this and that, and you go on changing outward things, but you remain the same. You remain off-center. Whatsoever you do, howsoever it is apparently different, it ultimately proves to be the same. The results are always the same; the outcome is always the same; the consequence is always the same.
Whenever you feel you are choosing and you are free, then too you are not free and you are not choosing. The choice is also a mechanical thing. Scientists say, biologists particularly, that the mind becomes imprinted, and that happens very early. The first two or three years are the years for imprinting, and things become fixed in the mind. Then you go on doing the same; you go on repeating in a mechanical way. You are moving in a vicious circle.
The child is forced to be off-center. He has to be disciplined; he has to learn obedience. That is why we give so much value to obedience. And obedience destroys everyone, because obedience means now you are not the center: the other is the center; you are just to follow him.
Education is a necessity in order to survive, but we make this necessity to survive an excuse for submitting. We force everyone to be obedient. What does it mean? Obedient to whom? Always someone else -- the father, the mother, someone else is there, and you have to be obedient to him. Why so much insistence for obedience? Because your father was forced to be obedient when he was a child; your mother was forced to be obedient when she was a child. They were forced off their centers; now they are doing the same. They are doing the same with their children, and these children will do the same again. This is how the vicious circle moves on.
Freedom is killed, and with freedom you lose your center. Not that the center is destroyed; it cannot be destroyed while you are alive. It would be good if it was destroyed; you would be more at ease with yourself. If you were totally false and there was no real center hidden within you, you would be at ease. There would be no conflict, no anxiety, no struggle.
The conflict comes into existence because the real remains there. It remains in the center, and just on the periphery an unreal center is created. Between these two centers a constant struggle, a constant anxiety, tension, is created. This must be transformed, and there is only one way: the false must disappear and the real must be given its place. You must be regrounded into your center, into your being; otherwise you will be in anguish.
The false can disappear. The real cannot disappear unless you die. While you are alive the real will be there. The society can do only one thing: it can push it deep down and it can create a barrier so that even you become unconscious of it. Can you remember any moment in your life when you were spontaneous, when you just lived in the moment -- when you were living yourself and you were not following someone else?
I was reading one memoir of a poet. His father had died, and the dead body was put in a coffin. The poet, the son, was weeping, crying, and then suddenly he kissed the forehead of his father's dead body and said, "There, now that you are dead, I can do this. I always wanted to kiss you on your forehead, but while you were alive it was impossible. I was so afraid of you."
You can kiss only a dead father -- and even if the alive father allows you to kiss, the kiss is going to be false; it cannot be spontaneous. A young boy cannot even kiss his mother spontaneously because always the fear of sex is there; the bodies must not come too closely in contact, even with the mother. Everything becomes false. There is fear and falsity -- no freedom, no spontaneousness, and the real center can function only when you are spontaneous and free.
Now you will be able to understand what is my attitude towards this question: "IN WHICH WAY CAN THE PRACTICE OF SELF-REMEMBERING TRANSFORM THE HUMAN MIND?" It will reground you; it will give you again roots into your own center. By self-remembering, you are forgetting everything other than yourself: the society, the mad world around you, the family, the relationships, everything, you are forgetting. You are simply remembering that you are.
This remembrance is not given by the society to you. This self-remembrance will detach you from all that is peripheral. And if you can remember, you will fall back to your own being, to your own center. The ego will be there just on the periphery, but you will be able to see it now. Like any other object, you will be able to observe it. And once you become capable of observing your ego, your false center, you will never be false again.
You may need your false center because you have to live in a society which is false. You will be able to use it now, but you will never be identified with it. It will be instrumental now. You will live on your center, in your center. You will be able to use the false as a social convenience, a convention, but you will not be identified with it. Now you know you can be spontaneous, free. Self-remembering transforms you because it gives you the opportunity to be yourself again -- and to be oneself is the ultimate and to be oneself is the absolute.
The peak of all the possibilities, of all the potentialities, is the divine -- or whatsoever you want to call it. God is not somewhere in the past; he is your future. You have heard it said again and again that God is the father. More significantly, he is going to be your son, not the father, because he is going to evolve out of you. So I say, "God the son," because the father is in the past and the son is in the future.
You can become divine, God can be born out of you; if you are authentically yourself, you have taken the basic step. You are going towards divinity, towards total freedom. As a slave you cannot move to that. As a slave, as a false person, there is no path leading towards the divine, to the ultimate possibility, the ultimate flowering of your being. First you must be centered in yourself. Self-remembering helps and only self-remembering helps; nothing else can transform you. With the false center there is no growth -- only accumulation -- and remember the distinction between accumulation and growth. With the false center you can accumulate: you can accumulate wealth, you can accumulate knowledge, you can accumulate anything, without any growth. Growth happens only to the real center. Growth is not an accumulation; you are not burdened by growth. Accumulation is a burden.
You can know many things without knowing anything. You can know much about love without knowing love. Then it is an accumulation. If you know love, then it is growth. You can know much about love with the false center; you can love only with the real center. Real centers can mature. The false can only get bigger and bigger without any growth, without any maturity. The false is just a cancerous growth, an accumulation, burdening you like a disease.
But you can do one thing: you can change your focus totally. From the false, you can move your eyes to the real. This is what is meant by self-remembering: whatsoever you are doing, remember yourself -- that you are. Don't forget it. The very remembering will give an authentic reality to whatsoever you are doing. If you are loving, first remember that you are; otherwise you will be loving from the false center. And from the false center you can only pretend; you cannot love. If you are praying, first remember that you are; otherwise the prayer is going to be just nonsense, just a deception. And you are not deceiving anyone else; you are deceiving yourself.
First remember that you are, and this remembering that "I am" must become so basic that it follows you like a shadow. Then even while asleep it will enter, and you will remember. If you can remember the whole day, by and by it enters even in your dreams, even in your sleep, and you will know that "I am."
The day you can know even in your sleep that you are, you are grounded in your center. Now the false is no more; it is not a burden to you. You can use it now, it is instrumental. You are not a slave to it, you have become the master.
Krishna says in the Gita that while everyone is asleep, the yogi is not: he is awake. It is not meant that the yogi lives without sleep, because sleep is a biological, bodily necessity. What is meant is that he remembers even in his sleep that he is -- that "I am." Sleep is just on the periphery. In the center the remembrance is there.
The yogi remembers even while he is asleep, and you are not remembering yourself while you are even awake. You are walking on the street, but you are not remembering that you are. Try, and you will feel a change of quality. Try to remember that you are. Suddenly a new lightness comes to you, the heaviness disappears; you become weightless. You are thrown off the false center to the real one again, but it is difficult and arduous because we are so much grounded in the false. It will take time, but no transformation is possible without self-remembering becoming effortless for you. You simply start remembering yourself; otherwise no transformation is possible.
The second question:
"LAST NIGHT YOU SAID THAT ONE SHOULD ALWAYS SEE LIFE IN ITS POSITIVE DIMENSIONS AND ONE SHOULD NOT GIVE EMPHASIS TO THE NEGATIVE. IS THIS NOT A CHOICE? AND IS THIS NOT AGAINST ENCOUNTERING THE TOTAL REALITY -- THAT WHICH IS?"
It is a choice, but one who is negative cannot take a jump towards choicelessness. If he can take it, it is good, but it is impossible. From the negative, it is impossible to take a jump towards choicelessness because the negative mind means that you can see only the ugly, you can see only death, you can see only misery. You cannot see any positive elements in life. And, remember, it is difficult to lose misery.
It may look very strange when I say this, but it is difficult to take a jump from misery; it is easier to take a jump from happiness. It is easier to take a jump when you are happy because with happiness courage comes, with happiness the possibility of a higher bliss opens, with happiness the whole world looks like a home. With misery the world is like a hell, and there is no hope; everything is just hopeless. Then you cannot take any jump. In misery one becomes a coward, and one clings to misery because at least this misery is known.
You cannot be adventurous when you are unhappy. Adventure needs a subtle happiness in you. Then you can leave the known. You are so happy that you are not afraid of the unknown. And the happiness has become such a deep phenomenon to you that you know that wherever you will be you will be happy. With the positive mind you know there is no hell, and wherever you are the heaven will be. You can move into the unknown because now you know that heaven moves with you.
You have heard that you enter heaven or hell. This is nonsense. No one enters heaven, no one enters hell. You carry your own hell and heaven with you, and wherever you enter, you enter with your hell or heaven. Heaven and hell are not doors. They are burdens; you carry them with you.
Only with a dancing heart -- happy, blissful, positive -- can you take a jump into the uncharted. That is why I say that from the negative you cannot be choiceless. You cling to your misery. It is known. You are acquainted with it, you are related to it, and it is better to remain with the known misery than with the unknown. At least you have become accustomed to it, and you know its ways. You have created certain defense mechanisms, an armor around you to be safe from this misery. An unknown misery will create new defense mechanisms. It is always better to be with the known misery than with an unknown misery.
With happiness, quite the reverse is the case. With happiness, one wants to move into the unknown happiness because the known gets boring. You never get bored with the known misery; you enjoy it. Look at people talking about their misery: they enjoy it, they magnify their misery; they have a subtle happiness.
With happiness you get bored. You can move into the unknown. The unknown is alluring, and the choiceless is the door for the unknown. This is how one has to move: from the negative to the positive and from the positive to the choiceless. First make your mind positive. From hell move to heaven, and from heaven you can move to moksha -- to the ultimate which is neither. From misery move to bliss, and only then you can move to the beyond which is beyond both. That is why the sutra said first to transform your mind from negative to positive, and this change is just a change of focusing.
Life is both or neither. It IS both or neither; it depends on you, on how you see it. You can look at it with a negative mind, and then it looks like hell. It is not hell; this is only your interpretation.
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You change your outlook: look positively. And this is what is meant by the attitude of the atheist. I don't call a man an atheist or theist because he believes in God or not. I call a man a theist if he has a positive attitude and an atheist if he has a negative attitude. It is not a question of saying no to God; it is a question of saying no to life. The theist is one who says yes and looks always from a yea-saying mind. Then everything changes totally.
If a negative mind comes to a rose, to a garden, many roses may be there, but he will count only the thorns. The first thing for the negative mind is the thorns; that is significant. Flowers are just illusory; only thorns are real. He will count, and, of course, for each flower a thousand thorns exist. And once he has counted a thousand thorns he cannot believe in one flower. He will say this one flower is just illusory. How can such a beautiful flower exist with such ugly thorns, violent thorns? It is impossible, it is unbelievable. And even if it exists, it means nothing now. One thousand thorns have been counted, and the flower disappears.
A positive mind will start with the rose, with the flower. And once you are in a communion with the rose, once you know the beauty, the life, the unearthly flowering, thorns disappear. And one who has known the rose in its beauty, in its highest possibility, one who has looked deep into it, for him now even thorns will not look like thorns. The eyes filled with the rose are different now. Now the thorns will look just like a protection for this flower. They will not be enemies; they will look just like part of the happening of flowers.
Now this mind will know that this flower happens and these thorns are needed, they protect. Because of these thorns this flower could happen. This positive mind will feel grateful even to thorns. And if this approach deepens, a moment comes when thorns become flowers. With the first approach the flower disappears -- or the flower even becomes a thorn. Only with a positive mind can you get the state of a non-tense mind. With a negative mind you will remain tense, with so many miseries all around. Such a negative, inventive mind goes on revealing miseries and miseries and hells and hells.
In Buddha's time, there was one really famous teacher. His name was Sanjaya Vilethiputta. He was an absolutely negative thinker. Buddha thought of seven hells, so someone came to Sanjaya Vilethiputta and told him that Buddha said there are seven hells. Sanjaya Vilethiputta said, "Go and tell your Buddha he doesn't know anything. There are seven hundred hells. He doesn't know anything! Only seven? There are seven hundred hells, and I have counted all of them."
If you have a negative mind, even seven hundred are not much. You will find more; there is no end to it. The positive mind can be non-tense. Really, if you are positive how can you be tense and if you are negative how you can be non-tense? With a negative mind there can be no association with meditation. The negative mind is anti-meditative; it cannot meditate. A single mosquito is enough to destroy all meditation. With a negative mind, the door is closed for tranquility, for stillness, for silence. The negative mind is self-perpetuating for misery. How can it take a jump toward choicelessness?
Krishnamurti goes on talking about choicelessness, and the audience is negative. They listen, but they never understand. And when they are not understanding, Krishnamurti gets disturbed because they are not understanding him. Only a positive mind can understand what he is saying, but a positive mind need not go anywhere -- neither to any Krishnamurti nor to any Rajneesh, nowhere. Only a negative mind is in search of a teacher, of a master.
To talk to the negative mind about choicelessness, about going beyond duality, about living both negative and positive, is meaningless. Not that this is untrue -- it is true, but meaningless. The one who is listening must be taken into account. He is more important than the one who is talking. As I see it, you are negative. First you need a transformation towards positivity. From your "no-saying" you must become a yea-sayer. You must look at life with a "yes" attitude, and with a "yes" attitude this very earth is totally transformed. Only then, when you have attained a positive attitude, can you take a jump towards choicelessness -- and that will be easy, very easy!
Misery cannot be renounced. It is difficult; you cling to it. Only happiness can be renounced because then you know that when you renounce the negative you gain the positive and a positive happiness. You renounce the negative and you gain happiness: just by renouncing the negative you attain to happiness. If you now renounce this happiness, this positive mind also, you open the doors for the infinite. But you must first have a feel of the positive. Only then, only then, can you take a jump.
The third question:
"IN THE LAST TECHNIQUE YESTERDAY, YOU EXPLAINED THAT IN THIS WORLD OF MAYA, THE INNER CONSCIOUSNESS OF THE SEEKER IS THE ONLY REAL CENTER FOR HIM. IN THIS REFERENCE, PLEASE EXPLAIN THE SIGNIFICANCE AND ROLE OF THE GURU IN THIS WORLD OF MAYA."
This world of MAYA is not a world of MAYA for you; it is very real, and the role of the guru is to show you that it is not real. It is real for you, so how can you think that it is unreal? You can think about unreality only if you have a glimpse of the real; only then can you compare. This world is not MAYA illusory, for you. You have heard, you have read that this world is MAYA, and you may have memorized it just like a parrot, so you also call this world illusory.
Everyday someone comes to me who calls this world illusory and then he says, "My mind is very much bothered. I am very tense, so tell me how to attain peace?" And this world is "illusory"! If this world is illusory, how can your mind be tense? If you have known that this world is illusory, the world will have disappeared, and with the world all its misery. But the mind still is. You don't "know" that this world is illusory.
In the morning when the sleep has disappeared, and with it the dream, are you worried about the dream? Are you worried that in the dream you felt ill or that you were even dead? While the dream was there, you were worried, you were ill, you were asking for a doctor, for some medicine. But in the morning, the moment you are not asleep and the dream has disappeared, you are not worried. Now you know it was a dream, and you are not ill.
If someone comes to me and says, "I know that it was a dream that I was ill, but now tell me something: where am I to get the medicine to get over that illness?" what will it show? It will show he is still asleep; it will show that he is still dreaming. The dream is still there.
In India, this parrot-like speech that "the whole world is illusory" has gone deep into the mind, but in the false center. It is not a growth. We have heard, the Upanishads, the Vedas and the RISHIS have been saying for centuries, that the world is illusory. They have propagated the idea so strongly that those who are asleep and dreaming, they think they are awake. The whole world is asleep, but their misery shows that the world is real, their anguish shows that the world is real.
The role of the guru is to give you a glimpse of the real -- not a teaching, but an awakening. The guru is not a teacher: the guru is an awakener. He has not to give you doctrines. If he gives you doctrines, he is a philosopher. If he talks about the world as illusory and argues and proves that the world is illusory, if he discusses, debates, if he intellectually gives you a doctrine, he is not a guru, he is not a master. He may be a teacher, a teacher of a particular doctrine, but he is not a master, not a guru.
A guru is not a giver of doctrines. He is a giver of methods -- of methods which can help you to come out of your sleep. That is why a guru is always a disturber of your dreams, and it is difficult to live with a guru. It is very easy to live with a teacher because he never disturbs you. Rather, he goes on increasing your accumulation of knowledge. He helps you to be more egoist; he makes you more knowledgeable. Your ego is more fulfilled. Now you know more, you can argue more. You can teach yourself, but a guru is always a disturber. He will disturb your dream and your sleep, and you may have been dreaming a very beautiful dream. You may have been on a trip, a beautiful trip. He will disturb it, and you will get angry.
A guru is always in danger from his disciples. Any moment they can kill him because he is going to disturb; that is what his work is. He cannot help you to be yourself as you are because you are false. He has to destroy your false identity. It is painful. That is why, unless there is a very deep love, the work is impossible. A very deep intimacy is needed; otherwise hate will be there. So a guru cannot allow you to be near him unless you have surrendered; otherwise you are going to be an enemy. Only with your total surrender can a guru work, because it is a spiritual surgery.
Of necessity, much suffering will be there for the disciple, and if he is not in deep intimacy with the guru it is impossible. He will not be ready to suffer so much. He has come in search of bliss and the guru gives him suffering. He has come to feel euphoria, and the guru creates a hell for him. In the beginning hell will be there because your image will be shattered, your expectations will be shattered. Whatsoever you have known, you will have to throw it. Whatsoever you are, he will undo it. Really, you are passing through a death.
In India, in the old days, we said, "ACHARYA MRITYUH." It means that the master, the guru, is a death. He is! And unless you trust him so totally, this surgical operation is impossible because in the beginning there will be suffering. Your anguish will come up; all your suppressed hells will be revealed. And only if you believe, if you have deep faith and trust in him, can you remain with him; otherwise you will escape, because this man is disturbing you completely.
So, remember, the guru's work is, his role is, to make you aware of your falsity, and because of your false center your world is false. The world is not really illusory, it is not MAYA. It is maya because your eyes are illusory. They are dream-filled. You project your dreams all around, and the reality is falsified. The same world will become real when your eyes are real. When the false center is broken and you are again rooted in your real center, in your being, this world will become the NIRVANA.
Zen Masters have been continuously saying that this world is NIRVANA, this very world is MOKSHA, liberation. It is only a question of eyes. With false eyes everything is falsified; with real eyes everything is real. Your false entity creates a false world around you. And don't think that you all live in one world. You cannot! Each one lives in his own world, and there are as many worlds as there are minds because each mind creates its own world, its own milieu. Even if you are living in a family, the husband lives in his own world and the wife in her own world, and there are collisions every day between these two worlds. They never meet; they collide. Meeting is impossible.
With mind there can be no meeting -- only collision, conflict. When mind is not, there can be a meeting. The wife lives in her own world, in her own expectations. The husband for her is not the real husband that is there in the world, he is just her own image. The husband lives in his own world, and the real wife is not his wife. He has an image of a wife, and whenever this wife falls short of his image there is struggle, conflict, anger, hatred. He loves his own image of a wife and the wife loves her own image of a husband, and these both are illusory; they exist nowhere. This real wife is there and this real husband is there, but they cannot meet because between these two real things are the unreal wife and the unreal husband. They are always there; they won't allow a meeting of the real ones.
Everyone is living in his own world, in his own dreams, expectations, projections. There are as many worlds as there are minds. Those worlds are illusory, MAYA. When your false center disappears, the whole world changes. Then it is a real world. Then for the first time you see things as they are. Then there is no misery because with illusion expectation disappears, and with reality there can be no misery. Then one comes to feel, "It is so! Fact is fact!" Only with fictions are there problems, and fictions never allow you to know fact. These fictions of the mind are MAYA.
The role of the guru is to shatter the fictions so that the fact becomes available to you and you become available to the fact. That "facticity" is truth. Once you know that facticity, even the guru will be different. If you come to a guru now, you come with your own image of him. Someone comes to me: he comes with his own image of me. And then, if I am not following his image, he is in difficulty. But how am I to follow his image? And if I try to follow everyone's image, I will be in a mess. And every disciple thinks I should be like this or that; he has his own concept of a guru. If I am not fulfilling his concepts he becomes frustrated, but this is how it is going to be. A disciple comes with a mind, and this is the problem. I have to change his mind, to destroy it. He comes with a mind and he looks at me also with his mind.
I was staying in a home with a family. The family was Jaina, so they wouldn't eat in the night. The old man of the family, the grandfather, he was a lover of my books. He had never seen me, and it is easy to love a book: a book is a dead thing. He came to meet me. He was very old, and even to come from his room was difficult for him. He was ninety-two, and he came to meet me. I told him I would come to his room, but he said, "No! I respect you so much, I will come." So he came, and he was praising me very much.
He said, "You are just like a TIRTHANKARA, like the highest in Jaina mythology, Mahavira." The greatest teachers are known as TIRTHANKARAS, so he said, "You are just like a TIRTHANKARA." He was praising and praising me, and then evening came and darkness descended.
Someone from the house came and said, "Now it is getting late. You come for your evening meal."
So I said, "Wait a little because of this old man. Let him say whatsoever he wants to say; then I will come."
The old man said, "What are you saying? Are you going to eat in the night?"
I said, "It is okay with me."
So he said, "I take my words back. You are no TIRTHANKARA. A person who doesn't even know that to eat in the night is the greatest sin, what else can he know?"
Now this man cannot have any meeting with me. Impossible! If I was not eating in the night, I was a TIRTHANKARA, a great master. I had not eaten yet. I had just said that I would eat in the night, and suddenly I am no more a TIRTHANKARA. The old man said to me, "I have come to learn something from you, but now that is impossible. Now I feel I must teach you something."
When this world becomes an illusion, your guru will also be part of it and will disappear. That is why, when the disciple awakens, there is no guru. This will seem very paradoxical: when the disciple REALLY awakens, there is no guru.
There are beautiful songs of Saraha, a Buddhist mystic. With every song the last ending line is "and Saraha disappeared." He teaches something; he gives some teachings. He says, "Neither the world is nor the NIRVANA is, neither the good nor the bad. Go beyond, and Saraha disappears." It has been a puzzle. Why does Saraha go on saying "and Saraha disappears"?
If you really attain to the song, to whatsoever he has said -- "There is neither good nor bad, nor the world nor the NIRVANA" -- if the disciple really awakens to this, Saraha will disappear. Where will be the guru? The guru was part of the disciple's world. Now there will be no entities like the guru and the disciple; they will have become one. When the disciple awakens, he becomes the guru, and Saraha disappears. Then the guru is no more there. Even the guru is part of your dream, of your illusioned world. But because of this many problems arise.
Krishnamurti goes on saying there is no teacher -- and he is right. This is the ultimate truth. When you have awakened, you are the teacher and there is no other teacher. But this is the ultimate truth, and before this happens the teacher is because the disciple is. The disciple creates the teacher; it is the disciple's need.
So remember this: if you meet a wrong teacher, you deserve a wrong teacher; that is why you meet a wrong teacher. A wrong disciple cannot meet a right teacher. You create your teacher, your master. A small teacher or a great teacher depends on you; you will meet the person you deserve. If you meet a wrong person it is because of you. You are responsible for it, not the wrong person. The guru also is part of your mind, it is part of the dreamworld. But unless you become awakened, you will need someone to disturb you, someone to help. This someone is a guru if he gives you methods. He is simply a teacher if he gives you only doctrines, principles, teachings, but you may need him right now.
Think of it in this way: even in a dream there is something which can help you to come out of it. Even in a dream something can help you to come out of it. You can try it just while falling asleep. Go on repeating in the mind, "Whenever there is a dream, my eyes will open." For three weeks go on continuously repeating it just when you are falling asleep: "Whenever there is a dream, my eyes will open; suddenly I will be awakened." And you will be awakened. Even from a dream you can be awakened by a certain method. Just when falling asleep, say to yourself -- if your name is Ram, say -- "Ram, awaken me at five o'clock in the morning." Repeat it twice, and then silently fall asleep. Sooner or later you will get the trick. Exactly at 5:00 someone will awaken you. Even in dream, even in sleep, methods can be used which will awaken you. The same is the case for the spiritual sleep you are in.
A master can give you methods which will be helpful for this. Then whenever you are falling into a dream, the methods will not allow you to fall, or whenever you have fallen into a dream suddenly you will be awakened. When this awakening becomes natural to you there is no need for the guru. When you have awakened the guru disappears, but you will still feel gratitude for the guru because he helped you.
Sariputta was one of the greatest disciples of Buddha. He became enlightened in his own right; he became a buddha himself. Then Buddha said to Sariputta, "Now you can go and move; now my presence is not needed for you. You yourself have become a master in your own right, so you can go and help others to come out of their sleep."
Sariputta, when leaving Buddha, touched his feet. Someone asked Sariputta, "You yourself have become enlightened, so why are you touching Buddha's feet?"
Sariputta said, "Now there is no need to touch his feet, but this situation could happen only because of him. Now there is no need, but this could happen only because of him."
Sariputta moved away, but wherever he was, in the morning he would prostrate himself in the direction where Buddha was; in the evening he would prostrate himself and everyone would ask, "What are you doing? To whom you are prostrating yourself?" because Buddha was far away, miles away.
He would say, "To my teacher who has disappeared. I am myself now the guru, but it was not possible before him. It became possible only because of him." So even when the teacher disappears, when the guru disappears, the disciple will feel a deep gratitude, the greatest gratitude that is possible.
There is a need while you are asleep for someone to disturb you. And if you allow someone, that is what surrender means. If you say, "Okay, I allow you to disturb me," that is what surrender means -- a trust. Trust means that now even if this man leads you towards misery, you will be ready to move. You will not question him anymore. Wherever he leads you, you trust in him. He is not going to harm you.
If you don't trust, then no progress is possible because you feel he is going to harm you. You feel, in your terms, that he is going to harm you in many ways, and if you think, "I am to protect myself," then no further work is possible. If you mistrust your surgeon, you will not allow him to make you unconscious. You don't know what he is going to do, and you will say, "Do the operation, but allow me to be conscious so I can go on seeing what you are doing. I cannot trust you."
You trust your surgeon. He makes you unconscious because things are such that in your conscious state surgery would be impossible to do; your consciousness would interfere. That is why trust is blind. It means you are ready even to become unconscious, even to become blind. You are ready to follow him wherever he leads. Only then does a deeper, inner surgery become possible. And it is not only a physical, physiological surgery; it is psychological. Much pain will be felt, much anguish, because catharsis is needed and you have to be thrown back to your own center which you have forgotten completely, pulled back to your roots again which you have left behind miles away.
This is going to be arduous and difficult; it even takes years. But if the disciple is ready to surrender, it can even happen in seconds. It depends on the intensity of surrender. Unnecessary time is wasted because the guru has to go slowly -- slowly so that you are prepared to trust more, and he has to do many things unnecessarily just to create trust. Just to do the surgery he has to create many things unnecessarily which can be discarded. No need to waste time and energy on them, but they are needed just to create trust.
I quoted Saraha; Saraha is one of the eighty-four SIDDHAS -- one of the eighty-four Buddhist mystics -- who attained. Saraha says to those disciples who have become masters, "Behave in such a way that others can trust you. I know now that you need no morality; I know now that you need no rules. You have gone beyond, and you can do whatsoever you like and you can be whatsoever you like. Now, no system, no morality exists for you. But behave in such a way so that disciples can trust you." So great masters have behaved in such a way that the society approves. It is not because they need to behave in that way; it is only an unnecessary thing to create trust. So if Mahavira behaves in the pattern that Jainas have set, it is not because there is any inner necessity. He behaves that way only so that Jainas can follow and become disciples, so that they can trust.
That is why many problems arise whenever a teacher starts behaving in a new way. Jesus behaved in a new way which was not known to the Jewish community. There was nothing wrong in it, but this became the problem. Jews couldn't trust him. Their masters of old had behaved differently and this man was behaving differently. He was not following the rules of the game, so they couldn't trust him. Thus, they had to crucify him.
And why did Jesus behave in such a way? India was behind it. He was here for many years before he appeared in Jerusalem. He was taught here in a Buddhist monastery, and he tried to follow Buddhist rules there where no Buddhist society existed. In a Jewish community he was behaving as if he was living in a Buddhist community, and that created the whole problem. He was killed, misunderstood, murdered, and the reason was only this -- that Jews couldn't trust him.
A teacher, a guru, has unnecessarily to create many things around him, to do many things, just to create trust. But even then, problems arise because everyone comes with his own expectations: "The guru must be like this or like that."
Surrender means you leave your expectations, you allow the guru to be as he is and you allow him to do whatsoever he wants to do. Even if pain results, you are ready for it. Even if he leads you towards death you are ready for it, because ultimately he will lead you to a deep death. Only after it is rebirth possible. Resurrection is possible only when your old identity has been crucified.
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