Tantra

THE TANTRA VISION, VOL. 2

Chapter 2: Freedom is a higher Value, Question 3

 

 

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Question 3

I HAVE BEEN MARRIED FOR TWENTY YEARS ALREADY AND THAT 'WHY CAN'T SHE UNDERSTAND?' FEELING IS THERE. AND THEN I HAVE NEVER SEEN HER IN MY LIFE, AND THEN I AM IN THE MIDDLE OF A HONEYMOON, AND THEN... MY MIND GOES BANANAS!

Mind always goes bananas -- that is the way of the mind.

The mind is a flux: it continuously changes. It is not the same for any two consecutive moments, each moment it is different. Yes, one moment you feel that you have not seen your wife in your whole life, you have not met her yet although you have been living with her for twenty years. Another moment you see yourself just in the middle of a honeymoon -- you have seen her beauty, her grace, her joy, her innermost core; and then it is gone. And the scene goes on changing.

The mind is very slippery: it goes on slipping, it cannot stay anywhere, it has no capacity to stand; it is a flux. With the mind everything is like that. One moment you are happy, another moment you are unhappy. One moment you are so joyful, another moment you are so sad. It goes on and on. The wheel of the mind goes on moving -- one moment one spoke is on top, another moment another spoke has come to the top, and it goes on this way. That's why in the East we call it SAMSARA, the wheel. The world is a wheel: it goes on moving -- the same wheel, again and again. And it is not stable for a single moment.

It is like a movie. If the movie stops for a single moment you will be able to see the screen. But the movie goes on moving, and it is moving so fast and you are so engrossed in it, so occupied with it, that you cannot see the screen. And the screen is the reality. The pictures projected upon it are just dreams. Mind goes on projecting...

I have heard...

A millionaire entered a Post Office and saw an elderly couple standing at the counter drawing their old age pensions. He was in a good mood. He felt very sorry for the old couple, and he thought they should be given one week's holiday to know the beauties and the joys of life. He was in a charitable mood. Going up to them he said 'How would you like to spend a week at my residence? I will give you both a wonderful time.'

Well, the old couple agreed and so the millionaire took them off to his house in his Rolls and, as he had promised, saw that they had a really good holiday with excellent food, colour television and many luxuries which they never dreamt they would ever have. At the end of the week he walked into the library where the old boy was enjoying a quiet time with a glass of wine and smoking a cigar. 'Well' he said 'have you enjoyed yourself?'

'Indeed I have' the old boy replied. 'But, can I ask you a question?'

'Certainly' replied the millionaire.

'Then' said the other 'who's the old woman I have been sleeping with all week?'

This will be the situation of people who have lived with their wife, with their husband, their whole lives. Who is the woman you have been sleeping with for twenty years? There are moments when you feel you know. There are moments when suddenly there is a China Wall, opaque, dark -- you cannot see anything. You don't know who is this stranger here.

All our knowing is so superficial. We remain strangers. You can sleep with the woman for twenty years -- that doesn't make much difference, you remain strangers. And the reason is that you don't even know yourself, how can you know the other? It is impossible, you are hoping for the impossible. You don't even know yourself. You don't know the man you are, and you have been here in existence for eternity -- you have been here for millions of lives, and you don't know YET who you are! So what to say about twenty years?

And how can you know the other woman who is far away from you? You cannot enter into her dreams, you cannot enter into her thoughts, you cannot enter into her desires, how can you know her being? Even dreams you cannot know. You may be sleeping with the same woman for twenty years in the same bed, but she dreams her dreams, you dream your dreams; your subjectivities remain worlds apart.

Even while you are making love to a woman and holding her in your hands, are you really holding the woman who is there, or are you holding just an image, a projection, a shadow'? Are you really holding the real woman in your hands, or just a mind image, a ghost? Do you love this woman who is there, or do you have certain ideas that you love and you find those ideas reflected in this woman? When there are two persons in a bed, my feeling is that there are always four persons: two ghosts lying just in between the two -- the woman's projection of the husband and the husband's projection of the wife.

It is not accidental that the husband goes on trying to change the wife according to some ideal, and the wife goes on changing -- trying, at least, to change -- the husband according to some ideal. Those are the two ghosts. You can't accept the woman as she is, can you? You have many improvements to make, many changes. And if it were really possible... If one day God came to the world and said 'Okay. Now all wives are allowed to change their husbands as they want' or 'All husbands are allowed to change their wives as they want' what would happen, do you know? The world would simply go crazy. If women were allowed to change their husbands, you would not find a single man left that you could recognise: all old people would be gone. If husbands were allowed to change their wives, then no single woman here would be left as she was.

And do you think you would be happy? You would not be, because then the woman that you changed and made according to your ideas would not appeal to you; she would not have a mystery in her.

Look at the absurdities of the mind, the demands of the mind -- suicidal demands. If you are able to change your husband and you really become powerful enough to change him totally, will you love that man? He will be just some 'thing' put together by you. He will not have any mystery, he will not have any soul, he will not have any integrity OF his own, and he will not have anything to be explored by you. You will lose interest, you will be bored by him; it will be just 'home-made'. What interest?

Interest arises only because there is something unknown to be explored, a mystery, an invocation challenging you to move into the unfamiliar.

The first thing: you have not known yourself, how can you know your wife? Not possible. Start by knowing yourself. And this is the beauty of it: the day you know yourself, you will know all. Not only your wife -- you will know the whole existence; not only man, but trees and birds and animals, and the rocks and the rivers and the mountains. You will know all because you contain all; you are a miniature universe.

And another beauty, another incredible experience is that the moment you know yourself, the mystery is not finished. In fact, for the first time, the mystery becomes tremendous. You know, and yet you know that much is there to be known. You know, and yet you know that this knowledge is nothing. You know, and yet the boundary is FAR away -- you only enter into the ocean of knowledge, you never reach the other shore. That moment the whole existence is mysterious: your wife, your child, your friend. And that knowledge is not destructive of the magic, of the poetry of life -- that knowledge enhances the poetry, the magic, the miracle, the mystery.

I HAVE BEEN MARRIED FOR TWENTY YEARS ALREADY, AND THAT 'WHY CAN'T SHE UNDERSTAND?' FEELING IS THERE.

Do you understand yourself? Have you not been doing things for which you repent later on? And you say 'I have done it in spite of myself'. Do you understand yourself? Do you do things through understanding? When somebody hits you and you become angry, are you becoming angry with understanding? Or just because he has pushed your button?

Your knowledge about yourself is so superficial. It is just like a driver: a driver driving a car. Yes, a few things he knows: he can manage the steering wheel, he can manage the accelerator, he can manage the clutch, he can manage the gearbox, he can manage the brake, that's all. Do you think he knows everything about the car? What is hidden under the bonnet is not known at all, and that is the 'real car; that is where the action is, that is where the real thing is happening. And what he is pushing and pulling are nothing but buttons. Sooner or later these things are going to disappear from cars. They should disappear, they are very primitive. This steering wheel, this accelerator, this brake -- they should disappear. They are not needed -- a computer can do all that. And then even a small child can drive the car -- there is no need for a license really.

But do you understand what is happening inside? When you push a button and the electric light comes on, do you understand electricity? You simply know how to push the button, that's all that you know.

I have heard a story:

When for the first time electricity came to Vienna, a friend of Sigmund Freud came to visit him. He had never seen electricity. At night Freud left him in his room to rest. He was very worried he had never seen electricity. He tried hard. He stood on the bed, he tried to blow out the light, but he could not find any way to blow it out. And he was afraid to go back and ask Freud, because that would be too foolish. 'What will these people think: You cannot even blow a light out? You don't know even that much?' That would look too ignorant... And he was from a small village so they would laugh, and that would not be good. So he covered the lamp with a towel and went to sleep. He couldn't sleep well; again and again he thought about it, 'There must be some way.'

He got up; again and again he tried. And there was the light and it was difficult to sleep. And more than the light was this pricking, a continuous pricking thought 'I don't know even such a small thing?'

In the morning when Freud asked him 'Did you sleep well?' He said 'Everything was good. Just one thing I have to ask -- how to put this light off.'

And Freud said 'You don't know electricity at all, it seems. Come here. Just on the wall is the switch. You push the switch and the light is off.'

Then the villager said 'So simple! Now I know what electricity is.'

But do you know what electricity is? Do you know what anger is? Do you know what love is? Do you know what happiness, joy is? Do you know what sadness is?

Nothing is known. You don't know yourself. You don't know your mind. You don't know your inner being. You don't know how this whole life happens. From where? From where comes anger? From where comes joy? From where...? One moment you feel so celebrating and the next moment you are ready to commit suicide.

PLEASE, WHY CAN'T SHE UNDERSTAND THAT FEELING? About your wife is natural. How can you understand her? You have not even understood your mind. The day you understand your mind and your being, you have understood all minds and all beings, because the fundamental law is the same. If you can understand a single drop of sea water, you have understood all the seas -- past, present, future -- of this earth, of other planets. Because once you have understood that it is H20, you have understood water. Wherever water exists, it will be H20. Once you have understood your anger, you have understood all the angers of all the human beings ever past, present, future. If you have understood your sexuality, you have understood all sex.

Please don't try to understand the other, that is not the way. Try to understand yourself, that is the way. You are a miniature universe. In you is the whole map of existence.

 

Next: Chapter 2: Freedom is a higher Value, Question 4

 

Energy Enhancement                 Enlightened Texts                 Tantra                 The Tantra Vision, Vol. 2

 

 

Chapter 2

 

 

 

 
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