Chapter 8: The Real Magic

Question 4



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The last question

Question 4



Sant Maharaj,

DON'T lose heart! There are even people far worse than the Indians -- always think of them and you will feel good and cheerful. There are Polacks . . .

Bhavita has asked me: Osho, why do Polacks open the bedroom door while they are making love?

Bhavita, so that nobody can peep through the keyhole. This is intelligence!

Bhavita has also asked: Osho, do you know what the Polack answered who was walking home from a fair with a pig under his arm, and a guy who knew him came up to him and asked, "Where did you get him?"

Bhavita, before the Polack could answer, the pig replied, "I won him at the fair!"

So there are Polacks . . . Sant, don't be worried.

Bhavita asks: Osho, did you hear about the Polack who tried to take his new car for its first service?

Yes, Bhavita, it wouldn't fit through the church doors.

And Bhavita asks: Why is Polack toilet paper five hundred sheets longer than usual?

Bhavita, because the first five hundred sheets are instructions.

Sant Maharaj, cheer up! There is no need to be worried.

Bhavita asks: Why can't one put a Polack into a cannon?

Bhavita, because according to the Geneva Convention, dum-dum bullets are illegal.

And Bhavita also asks: How is a Polack ladder different from an ordinary one?

Bhavita, it has a stop sign at the top -- otherwise the Polack will never stop, he will go on and on. The ladder will be left behind.

And you say: Are Indians really as unintelligent as you say?

Not all Indians . . . Sant is not unintelligent. I make him sit by my side . . .

Somebody has asked a question. The questioner is Emilio Ducoli. He says: "Osho, if someone said to you, 'Don't speak, don't be silent, but tell me who you are?' what would be your answer?"

For that Sant is sitting by my side: he will hit him as hard as possible! In the old days, Zen Masters used to hit people themselves. I am a lazy person, and Sant is a good boxer. And you know boxing needs no intelligence! Sant will teach him a lesson. That is the special purpose for which he is allowed to sit by my side. I will not answer Ducoli; I will simply look at Sant and Sant will answer.

A man came to me once and he said, "Twenty-four avatars were born in India, twenty-four teerthankaras were born in India, Gautam Bud&a was born in India and also in his previous lives he was always born in India, as were so many saints and so many mahatmas. And God has said in the Gita that 'I will always come whenever I am needed' --  and he has always been coming to India. Do you still say that India is a materialist country, do you still say that India is not very intelligent, do you still say that India has no special spirituality, that it is not a religious land?"

I said, "Yes, still I say that. In fact, all these things prove what I say." In the Gita, Krishna says, "Whenever you need me I will come. " It seems India needs gods more than any other country! Twenty-four avatars and where are we? We still need; even forty-eight avatars won't help us much. Whatsoever they do we are expert at undoing it. Twenty.four teerthankaras and what has happened?

It is like a man who brags about his health: "Because," he says, "look! All the doctors of this city visit me. I must have the best health in the world!" He must be the most ill person in the world if all the doctors have to visit him continuously.

God has been visiting India so much that it seems it is a mess! Yes, Buddha is intelligent, but how many Buddhas are there? Mahavira is intelligent, but how many Mahaviras are there? Yes, once in a while, among millions of people, one person has risen to the ultimate heights -- but how many? They can be counted on your fingers. And don't think that their intelligence is your intelligence. Don't live in a reflected glory; that is absolutely foolish. That's what we have been doing for centuries: living in a reflected glory. Krishna, Buddha, Mahavira -- and we feel so happy that we completely forget that we have to do something too, that we have to be intelligent too, that we have to create something too.

Yes, there have been spiritual people in India, but India is not a spiritual land; there have been intelligent people, but India has not proved intelligent itself. As a country, for two thousand years we have been living in slavery. Is this intelligence?

As a country, I think India has the lowest morality in the world. The whole Indian idea of morality is concentrated on sex; anything else has nothing to do with it. You can lie and nobody will think you immoral. You can deceive, you can be Insincere, you can promise to come today, and for months you may not come, and nobody will think you are immoral. In India a promise means nothing. If somebody says, "I am coming at five," he may come at four, he may come at six; he may not come at all today; he may come tomorrow at five. And you cannot say that this is immoral. People are adulterating everything -- not only milk, even medicines are adulterated. You cannot rely on Indian medicines. You may be hoping that the injection is going to save you; it may kill you, because it may be just ordinary water -- not even pure water. Everything is unreliable.

The whole morality consists of you clinging to your wife and yom wife clinging to you, and you remain like detectives, after each other; that is your whole morality. This is a very silly idea of morality and a very limited idea of morality.

In fact, to live with a woman you don't love is immoral; Whether she is your wife or not does not matter. To live with a man, to go to bed with a man you don't love -- he may be your husband -- but it is immoral. It is prostitution  -- of course, approved by the society, but approval cannot take any difference. And how many couples love each other?

I have been a guest in hundreds of families all over India and I have never come across more than two or three couples who are really in love. Otherwise they are enemies, fighting each other tooth and nail, always at each others' necks, but very moral because the wife remains strictly faithful to the man -- to the man she does not love. What kind of faith is this? And the man remains faithful to the woman whom he always wants to murder, or hopes that somebody else will do the thing, or hopes that some natural calamity . . . the house will collapse in the rain or some illness will catch her or something. And in India things are always happening buses falling in the rivers, airplanes crashing, trains disappearing. . . So the marl goes on hoping that "Someday something is bound to happen and I will get rid of this woman." But till then he is faithful to the woman whom he has never loved.

Without love can there be faith? It is only fear, not faith. It is formality, not faith. It is just cowardliness, not faith. If you are brave, if you are really a man, you will say to the woman, "I don't love you, hence I cannot go on reproducing children with you." And the woman will say, "I don't love you either, so it is better we part company." But this is our whole morality.

Almost the whole of India is against me for the simple reaSOn that they think I am destroying their morality. I am not destroying their morality; I am bringing a real moral sense to you. Now my movement to Kutch is opposed because I will "destroy the morality of Kutch. " But I cannot go on destroying the morality of Poona only; I have to move, I have to destroy a few other people's morality!

What morality have you got? I am coming to Kutch to destroy your immorality. I call all this that goes in the name of morality immoral. It is utterly immoral.

The whole idea of marriage is immoral, and an arranged marriage is basically immoral. Only a love marriage has a morality, and that too only to the extent that the love is alive. The moment love disappears, morality disappears.

Yes, in India we have seen great enlightened people, but they are like silver lines around black clouds. Don't believe that those silver lines are of much help; you cannot even read by their light. When there is lightning you cannot even read, you cannot write. Yes, for a moment you can see, and then all is darkness -- even darker than it was before.

Whenever a Buddha dies this country falls into a deeper valley of darkness. Yes, when a Buddha is alive there is a little glory around him, a little splendor, a little light, but that too is available only to those who are courageous. And India is a country of cowards -- otherwise how can you explain two thousand years of slavery?

Yes, once in a while, Sant Maharaj, there are people who are intelligent and they invent new things; they need Nobel Prizes.

I have heard this story:

At the Vatican in Rome a gathering of missionaries from all over the world met to discuss their experiences in the Third World countries.

The priests working in India and in Africa were talking together.

"Well, Father, how are things going in India?" asked the African priest.

"Very well, thank you, Father," he replied. "We have been working on ways to ease the food shortage and have found a new way to reduce the population."

"How?" inquired the African priest. "Are you using new methods of birth control?"

"No, no. After much experimentation we have seen that that doesn't work. So we have invented a very simple and effective technique: the 'Crunch Scrunch Method.'"

"What is that?" asked the priest, intrigued.

"In the big centers like Bombay and Calcutta, our organization has begun to construct new hygienic male toilets -- but with a unique design. When a patron squats down to shit, his balls hang down through two separate holes and we have one of our workers standing underneath with a brick in each hand -- crunch! scrunch! -- we smash their balls together!"

"Holy Mother of God!" exclaimed the other priest with a gasp. "That must hurt!"

"Oh no, not really,'' said the Indian priest, "not if you keep your thumbs out of the way!"


Next: Chapter 9: I laughed, Question 1


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Chapter 8






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