The fifth question:

Question 5

OSHO, WILL YOU BE MY CATALYST TOWARDS GOD-REALIZATION?

MY approach is that the more you forget about God, the better. Leave Him alone. Realize yourself. This is again an escape from your problems: God-realization, nirvana, moksha -- these are avoiding your real problems, these are ways you start going outward. Go inward. Self-realization is the thing -- God-realization comes out of it, grows out of it. It will take care of itself, you need not worry about it.

At least do a small thing: know who you are. You don't even know yourself, and you have started working for God-realization? I can be a catalyst to self-realization. And out of self-realization, God-realization comes on its own accord.

But remember, to be a catalyst is a very thankless job -- because if I am to be a catalyst for your self-realization, I will also be a catalyst for many ugly things that you are carrying within you. I will be a catalyst for your anger and I will be a catalyst for your hatred and I will be a catalyst for your greed and I will be a catalyst for your violence and I will be a catalyst for your suicidalness, murderousness -- all that you are carrying. And behind all that is hidden yourself. You will have to cat hart all that -- only then. Don't be angry with me. You yourself are asking -- you are asking 'Will you be my catalyst?' That's what I am, that's what a master is supposed to be. That's his function, to be a catalyst.

And that is what sannyas means from your side -- to allow me to be your catalyst. Sannyas is a gesture that you are ready to go with me; even if I am going to hell you are ready to go with me. And remember, the way to heaven goes through hell. Then don't be angry...

I have heard:

A girl learned that compulsive emotion-reactions were called stresses. And the more she learned, the more stresses she discovered. Her job was a stress, and the improper fit of her clothing was a stress. Taking the garbage outside was a stress, and washing the dishes was a stress.

Now, stresses are tricky things, they can be redirected. For example, the girl had a boyfriend who liked to remind her of stresses. At dinner, she said 'I just hate asparagus!'

And he helpfully replied 'That's a stress!'

At the theater. she remarked 'I can't stand waiting in lines!'

'Merely a stress' he said.

As you may imagine, the direction of the stresses began to change, and it was not long before her boyfriend became the target of her anger.

'You are becoming a stress' she said.

But the young man felt bound to explain her error. So he told her that all stresses -- that is, all compulsive emotion-reactions -- were inside her. That the external circumstance was only a trigger, a catalyst, that caused a stress to come out in the open. Therefore, his helpful comments were not the cause of her stresses, since they all came from inside of her.

Still full of anger at him, but appreciating her logical position, she exercised her only option. With glaring eyes and a contemptuous tone, she turned to him and said 'You catalyst!'

Remember, I am ready to become your catalyst. Don't be angry -- because it is going to be a rough journey. The end is beautiful but the journey is rough, it is arduous. To encounter oneself is painful -- because for centuries you have not been encountering yourself, you have been avoiding all possibilities of encountering. So much garbage has gathered there -- it is going into your basement where you have not been for years but where you have been throwing all kinds of junk.

A catalyst has to be a catalyst totally. And first the negative things start surfacing. And only when you are finished with the negative, then the positive.

Many people ask me why I insist so much on growth groups here -- because no ashram anywhere in India has growth groups. My insistence is for a certain basic reason, it is very fundamental. The modern mind is very much repressed -- the more cultured you become, the more repressed you become automatically. Those other ashrams in India have no notion of the modern mind; they still live at least three thousand years ago. They still think that Buddhist meditations will do, or Patanjali will do.

And I know perfectly well that Buddha and his meditations and Patanjali and his methods are of immense value. But they cannot work directly on the modern mind. They were not invented for the modern mind, they were invented for a different kind of mind -- more primitive, more simple, more innocent, more childlike.

Before you can do vipassana or zazen you will have to go through groups like encounter and primal therapy and gestalt. They will destroy, they will take the poison out of your system. Then you will again be a primitive -- innocent, childlike. Then vipassana can work, otherwise not.

So here, in this place, first we emphasize catharsis. And when the catharsis is complete, only then the second step, meditation, starts. So you can think of my approach in three steps: the first is catharsis, the second is meditation, the third is prayer.