CRITICISM.

Giving and Receiving Criticism.

It is very important to look into the concept of criticism as soon as possible. If we can arrive at some inner decision concerning the giving and receiving of criticism then we can more easily live life. If we live in constant fear of the criticism of others, then we have not even considered this important part of life, and our lives will be retarded in many ways.

No one can avoid criticism. Properly approached, criticism is very useful to all souls. If we can learn to fairly give and receive criticism early in life, then we will enjoy a more successful life than if we do not even consider the matter.

I know of one woman who cannot take the slightest criticism from other's - even family members. Because of her unrealistic approach she pushes everybody away, leads a confused and lonely life, and attempts to control her family with her "how dare you question my authority" mood. This person is not open to criticism. Because of this, her holistic growth is retarded. Nobody dare criticise her, in case she explodes in her usual wrathful and unreasonable manner. Therefore, people avoid her or even ignore her, because they can see that she just isn't mature enough to handle criticism and thus there is no possiblity of sustaining a real and meaningful relationship with her. She pushes people away because she cannot consider their point of view or even give them the space to air their opinions and attitudes to life.

People find her unreasonable and therefore avoid her because they find her attitude disrespectful - that is "full of disrespect" for them as thinking and feeling human beings. The lesson behind this scenerio is evidently that we must at least consider the criticism of others, especially family members who are close to us and can often see that which is hidden to ourselves.

If we can just consider the criticism of others, we can progress, we can evolve. We can learn to respect other people and accept the help that may come from their criticism. Once we learn to consider criticism, then we have less fear of other people, because we can handle anything that they do or say. If we consider their criticism and find that we do not agree with it, then we can thank them for it and decline to take it on board.

If, on the other hand, we find the criticism useful, then we can integrate it into our lives, and in this way we grow, evolve, and mature. We can use criticism to help us become better people, to help us improve our relationship with life. So, it is very important to be able to answer the following question to ourselves; "Am I open to criticism from myself and others?" The answer to this question may not be a static one, and we should allow ourselves the flexibility of being in the mood to accept or the mood to decline. We should not use this flexibility as another social weapon with which to control situations, but rather we should be reasonable and understand the situations and times when we are not open to criticism and those when we are.

Summary.

If we do not come to terms with the concept of criticism, then we may end up lonely, angry, frustrated and paranoid (the belief that we are being unjustly persecuted when infact we are not). To lead a balanced life, we must come to terms with the concept of criticism and our relationship to it.