ENERGY BLOCKAGE REMOVAL
|2005 AND 2006|
THE WISDOM OF THE SANDS, VOL. 1
Chapter 5: The Oasis Exists in Your Awareness
The last question:
YOU REALLY CONFUSED ME WHEN YOU TALKED ABOUT THE DIFFERENCES BETWEEN LOVE AND LIKING. YOU SAID LOVE IS COMMITTED, BUT I THOUGHT COMMITMENT WAS ANOTHER KIND OF ATTACHMENT. THERE ARE MANY PEOPLE I LOVE BUT I DON'T FEEL COMMITTED TO. HOW CAN I PREDICT IF I WILL LOVE THEM TOMORROW?
The question is significant. You will have to be very, very understanding, because it is subtle and complex too.
When I said that love is commitment, what do I mean by it? I don't mean that you have to promise for tomorrow, but the promise is there. You don't have to promise, but the promise is there. This is the complexity and the subtleness of it. You don't say, "I will love you tomorrow too", but in the moment of love that promise is there, utterly present. It needs no expression.
When you love a person you CAN'T think otherwise. You CAN'T think that you will not love this person some day; that is impossible, that is not part of love. And I am not saying that you may not be able to get out of this love-affair; you may be, you may not be. That is not the point. But when you are in the love moment, when the energy is flowing between two persons, there is a bridge, a golden bridge, and they are bridged through it. It simply does not happen: the mind cannot conceive and comprehend that there will be a time when you will not be with this person and this person will not be with you. This is commitment. Not that you say so much, not that you go to a court and make a formal statement: "I will remain forever with you." In fact to make that formal statement simply shows there is no love; you need a legal arrangement. If the commitment is there, there is no need for any legal arrangement.
Marriage is needed because love is missing. If love is there profoundly, marriage will not be needed. What is the point of marriage? -- that is like putting legs on a snake, or painting a red rose red. It is unnecessary. Why go to the court? There must be some fear inside you... the love is not total.
Even while in deep love you are thinking of the possibility that tomorrow you may desert this woman. The woman is thinking, "Who knows? Tomorrow this man may desert me. It is better to go to the court. First let it become legal, then one can depend." But what does it show? -- it simply shows that love is not total. Otherwise, total love has that quality of commitment on its own accord. It has not to be brought to it, it is its intrinsic quality.
And when you are in love it comes naturally to you, not that you plan. This feeling comes naturally and sometimes in words too: "I will love you forever." This is THIS moment's depth. It doesn't say anything about tomorrow, remember. It is not a promise. It is just that the depth and the totality of love is such that it comes automatically to you to say, "I will love you forever and ever. Even death will not be able to part us." This is the feeling of total love.
And let me repeat again -- that does not mean that tomorrow you will be together. Who knows? That is not the point at all. Tomorrow will take care of itself. Tomorrow never enters into the mind which is in love. Tomorrow is not conceived at all, future disappears, this moment becomes eternity. This is commitment.
And when tomorrow... it is possible you may not be together, but you are not betraying. You are not deceiving, You are not cheating. You will feel sad about it, you will feel sorry about it, but you have to depart. And I'm not saying that it has to happen; it may not happen. It depends on a thousand and one things.
Life does not depend only on your love. If it were to depend only on your love then you would live for ever and ever. But life depends on a thousand and one things. Love has the feeling that "We will live together forever", but love is not the whole of life. When it is there it is so intense, one is drunk with it. But then there are a thousand and one things, sometimes small things.
You may fall in love with a man, and in that moment you are ready to go to hell with him, and you can say so, and you are not cheating. You are utterly true and honest and you say, "If I have to go to hell with you I will go!" -- and I say again, you are true, you are not saying anything false. But tomorrow, living with that man, small things -- a dirty bathroom may disturb your affair. Hell is too far away, there is no need to go that far -- a dirty bathroom! Or just a small habit: the man snores in the night and drives you crazy! And you were ready to go to hell, and that was true. It was authentic in that moment, it was not false, you had no other idea -- but the man snores in the night; or his perspiration smells like hell, or he has bad breath and when he kisses you, you feel you are tortured. Just small things, very small things; one never thinks of them when one is in love. Who bothers about a bathroom, and who thinks about snoring? But when you live together with a person, a thousand and one things are involved, and any small thing can become a rock and can destroy the flower of love.
So I'm not saying that the commitment has any promise in it. I'm simply saying that the moment of love is a moment of commitment. You are utterly in it, it is so decisive. And naturally, out of this moment will come the next, so there is every possibility that you may be together. Out of today tomorrow will be born. It will not be coming from the blue, it will grow out of today. If today has been of great love, tomorrow will also carry the same love. It will be a continuity. So there is every possibility that you may love, but it is always a perhaps. And love understands that.
And if one day you leave your woman or your woman leaves you, you will not start shouting at her, "What do you mean now? You had told me one day that 'I will live always and always with you.' Now what? Why are you going?" If you loved, if you had known love, you will understand. Love has that quality of commitment.
Love is a mystery. When it is there, everything looks heavenly. When it is gone, everything looks simply stale, meaningless. You could not have lived without this woman, and now you cannot live with this woman. And both are authentic states.
You ask, "YOU REALLY CONFUSED ME WHEN YOU TALKED ABOUT THE DIFFERENCES BETWEEN LOVE AND LIKING. YOU SAID LOVE IS COMMITTED, BUT I THOUGHT COMMITMENTS WERE ANOTHER KIND OF ATTACHMENT."
My meaning of commitment and your meaning of commitment are different. Your meaning is legal, my meaning is not legal. I was simply describing to you the quality of love, what happens when you are encompassed in it: the commitment happens.
Now my sannyasins are in a deep commitment, but that deep commitment does not create love, love creates it. Love is first, commitment follows it. If one day love disappears that commitment will also disappear; it was the shadow. When love is gone, don't talk about commitment; then you are being foolish. It was a shadow of love. It always comes with love. And if love is no more, it goes, it disappears. You don't go on harping on that commitment: "What about the commitment?" There is no more commitment if love is not there. Love is commitment! Love gone, all commitment is gone: this is my meaning.
And I understand your meaning. Your meaning is: when love is gone, what about the commitment? That is your meaning. You want the commitment to continue when the love is gone and love is no more. Your meaning of commitment is legal.
Always remember: listening to me, try to follow my meaning. It is difficult, but you have to try. In that very trying you will get out of your meanings. Slowly, slowly a window will open and you will be able to see what I mean. Otherwise, there is going to be confusion: I say something, you hear something else.
Listen to this small anecdote:
A want ad appeared in a newspaper: "WHITE MALE NEEDED TO SERVICE BABOON IN SCIENTIFIC EXPERIMENT -- $1000.
Finally, after weeks, a man answered the ad, but he made three conditions. First there was to be no foreplay, second the kids had to be raised Catholic, third it would take him a while to raise the $1000.
What you understand by a certain thing depends on you. The meaning comes from your past, you supply the meaning.
Remember it -- listening to me, avoid supplying meaning to it. Try to listen to my meaning too. Don't only listen to my words but try to find out my meaning too. Then there will be no confusion at all. Otherwise words are mine, meanings are yours -- there is going to be a great confusion in your minds.
Being with me is a love-affair. Being with me is creating a kind of energy which I cannot create alone, by myself, and you cannot create alone, by yourself. That energy happens only when two persons are in deep love; both contribute to it. The atmosphere that is being created here cannot be created without me and cannot be created without you. You have to contribute MUCH to it. The disciple is not just there to be a passive phenomenon, he has to be actively in love. When the Master and the disciple both are active, actively moving towards each other, something of the beyond penetrates into the ordinary world.
A Buddha alone is one thing. A Buddha with his SANGHA, with his commune, is another thing. Buddha alone is a beautiful flower but almost unrelated to existence, will sooner or later disappear, fade away and will become a myth, and people will wonder whether he ever existed or not.
A Buddha with a commune is a very, very concrete reality -- not just a flower, more rooted in the earth. The Master finds roots into the earth through the disciples. The Master belongs to the sky -- he can fly, he has wings, but he has no more roots. He can get roots only through you. And when a Master has roots in the earth something of immense value happens to the earth. An atmosphere, a soil is created. A new psychology is created. In that psychology many many flowers will bloom.
Love is a miracle. It is alchemy.
In THE LITTLE PRINCE this small story comes up.
He was with the fox. "I cannot play with you," the fox said, "I am not tamed."
"Oh! Please excuse me," said the little prince. But after some thought he added, "What does that mean, 'tame'?"
"It is an act too often neglected," said the fox. "It means to establish ties."
"To establish ties?"
"Just that," said the fox. "To me, you are still nothing more than a little boy who is just like a hundred thousand other little boys. And I have no need of you. And you, on your part, have no need of me. To you I am nothing more than a fox like a hundred thousand other foxes. But if you tame me, then we shall need each other. To me, you will be unique in all the world. To you, I shall be unique in all the world.... "
"I am beginning to understand," said the little prince.
Between the Master and the disciple, the greatest tie of love happens, the greatest taming happens. If you are not a disciple, I am just one man amongst millions of men. To you, I don't mean much. Once you are a disciple then I am unique to you, then there is nobody who can be compared to me. Once you are a disciple you are unique to me, ties are established. I start growing roots through you... the meeting of the sky and the earth. In that meeting all is possible, even the impossible is possible.
Listening to me, don't only listen to my words. Words are needed. They are the container but not the content. And to know the difference between the container and the content is the beginning of wisdom.