ENERGY BLOCKAGE REMOVAL
|2005 AND 2006|
THE WISDOM OF THE SANDS, VOL. 1
Chapter 2: Trust in Allah...
The third question:
WHAT STANDS IN THE WAY OF MY SAYING YES TO LIFE, TO SURRENDERING TOTALLY, AND IS IT ALWAYS RIGHT TO SAY YES?
It is difficult to say yes to life, because you have been taught to say no. And the conditioning is very ancient. And not only is the conditioning there which does not allow you to say yes, there is some inner mechanism also that does not allow you to say yes.
When a child is born he is a yes-sayer. Slowly, slowly, as he starts feeling himself as an individual, the no arises. When the child starts saying no you can be certain this is the time when the ego is born. The ego cannot exist without saying no, so each child has to say no. It is an inner necessity for becoming an individual. If the child goes on saying yes to everything he will never become an individual, he will not have any definition to his being. How will he be able to define? 'Yes' gives you no definition, 'no' gives you definition. When you say no, you know it is 'I' saying no. When you say yes, there is no 'I' in it.
Life and you remain one when you say yes. When you say no you demark a line, you assert. That is the meaning of the Biblical story of Adam disobeying God, saying no. It is a MUST, otherwise Adam would never have become separate from God. He would never have had any individuality; he would have remained vague,, a kind of cloud, nebulous. He had to say no, he had to disobey, he had to rebel. And remember, this is not something that happened in the past and happened only once; it happens with each new Adam, with each new child of man. Each child lives in the Garden of Eden for a few months, a few years, and then slowly, slowly he has to deny, he has to rebel, he has to disobey. The father says, "Don't do this!" and he has to do it just to say, "I am myself. You cannot go on ordering me like that. I'm not a slave. I have my own preferences, I have my own likes and dislikes." Sometimes the child even does something which he does not much like to do, but he has to do it because the father is saying don't do it.
Children start smoking cigarettes; no child likes smoking a cigarette for the first time -- nobody can like it. Tears come to the eyes, the child starts coughing, the throat feels in a misery, the heart does not like it -- but he has to do it because the father is saying "Don't smoke!" He has to go against the father; that is the only way to have a separate existence. He has to go against the mother, he has to go against the teacher. There is a time for each child to say no, and that is good as it is. I am not against it, otherwise there would be no more individuals. But then you= become accustomed to saying no.
There is a time, a season to say no, and there is a time to learn to drop unnecessary noes. Otherwise you will never attain to the unity with the divine. Just see the point: no helps you to become separate from your father, your mother, your family, your society. It is good -- as far as it goes, it is good -- but then one day you have to learn to say yes to God, to existence..Otherwise you will remain always separate, and the separation creates misery, the separation creates a kind of struggle in life, a fight. Life becomes a war. And life should not be a war, it should be a relaxed joy.
So one has to say yes one day.
You ask me, "WHAT STANDS IN THE WAY OF MY SAYING YES?"
You are afraid of losing your ego. You stand in the way, your ego stands in the way. And it was good that it helped you to get rid of your past heritage, history, your parents, your family, your church. It is good. Its work is finished; you are no more a child! Now don't go on fighting. Just don't go on carrying the old habit of saying no, otherwise you will remain childish.
See the paradox: if a child never says no he will never grow, and if a grown-up man goes on saying no he will remain childish. One day you need to say no with your total heart, and one day you need to drop the no too.
And you ask, "... AND IS IT ALWAYS RIGHT TO SAY YES?"
No, not always. No has its own utility. One should not be addicted to it, that's all. No is not bad in itself. There are moments when you have to say no, there are moments when you have to say yes. One should be free to say yes or no; that's what I have been telling you. One should not be addicted to either. A free person is one who looks at each situation and says yes or no -- whatsoever the response is, whatsoever he feels like in that moment. That yes and no should not come from the past, should not come from the memory. It should not be a reaction, it should be a response.
A man was alone out in a rowboat on the Potomac, shouting, "No! No! No!"
Somebody was watching: "Why is this man saying, 'No! No! No!'?" And there was nobody else, he was alone on the boat. And not only was he saying it, he was shouting to the sky, "No! No! No!" The watcher was naturally puzzled.
"Nothing to worry about," said a passing policeman to the puzzled man. "He's just a White House 'yes-man' on vacation."
A balance is needed. If you go on saying yes, yes, if you are a yes-man, that will be lopsided and you will need a vacation, and you will have to go on some boat alone and shout "No! No! No!" Then you will feel good. Yes and no are like inhalation/exhalation; you need not choose. You have to inhale and you have to exhale, and both are needed.
Your house is on fire and you rush out: this is no. You are saying to the fire, "I am going out."
A snake crosses your path and you jump out of the way; you say no. You may not be actually saying no, but there are a thousand gestures which are a no.
A man should be free to say yes or no. If you are obsessed with yes, you will not have any individuality. If you are obsessed with no, you will have only the ugly ego. A man in a tremendous balance of yes and no is healthy and whole.
And to say yes is not ALWAYS right; it cannot be. Nothing is ALWAYS right, and nothing is always bad. But you have been taught fixed ideas again and again: this is bad and this is right. Rightness and badness change; they change as circumstances change. No act in itself is right, or can be right, or wrong, or can be wrong. Each situation is new, and one never knows. Never carry fixed ideas, fixed ideas are obsessive. Remain free to act.
A religious person is one who responds, is free to act in each and every situation, whose reactions are not fixed reactions, who is not mechanical.
Two men were out mountain climbing when one of them said, "I'm more experienced than you. I'll go in front and show you how it is done." So he went up in front and fell down a great big hole about 250 feet deep. The other fellow shouted down, "Are you all right?"
"No, I have broken both arms."
"Well, climb up with your legs."
"I have broken both legs too."
"Well, then climb up with your teeth." So he climbed up with his teeth and it took him ages. He was almost at the top when the fellow shouted down, "Are you all right?"
And the answer came: "YEEEEEEeeeeessss" and he went down again.
Yes is not always right.